I’ve often said I come from a long line of worriers – my mom being the chief and I have battled it all my life.  When you worry, it is usually based on non-discrimination – in other words – worry about everything.

Recently a friend told me how he fights the good fight taking the time to give himself credit for how good he really is at solving problems (worriers rarely give themselves credit for victories they have).  I have known him for a long time and he rattled off the many ways I have handled challenges large and small over the years.

I’m sharing this because I have not been able to get this out of my mind – how we actually are good at solving problems.  I guess, we’re so busy adding new worries that we don’t take the time to appreciate our own resilience.

One key – live in the present with the skills that we’ve somehow honed in our lives. We never know what happens tomorrow, so don’t focus on tomorrow — just today.

“You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. Remember that.”

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Apple CEO Tim Cook has been on the hot seat for taking what appears to be a cautious approach to artificial intelligence – the stock has been punished, doubts exist that they may be left behind in the AI boom yet the company just reported record profits, sold a lot of new iPhones in just one week.  The Apple Watch seemed like a flop until it caught on using a focus on health not time or connectivity.  The popular ear buds were a joke when they came out but they are considered a must have – a new iteration is even better.

So, which is right?  Is it better to be first or best?

Trying hard to keep up, stand out or remain ahead is distracting – it causes mistakes, lost vision of the future and simple answers to complex problems.

Then there is this:  “Speed is irrelevant if you’re going in the wrong direction.” — Mahatma Gandhi

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That is the wonderful description by health advocate Arianna Huffington – the voice that puts us down, strengthens our insecurities and doubts.  It comes out most when we’re stressed, and our guard is down.  Making resilience the goal is a partial answer.  It makes us more able to handle moments when we start to doubt ourselves.

Joining a health club or paying attention to physical health has many benefits but it’s often difficult to see the importance of building resilience as if it was a muscular thing.  I see this all the time with young college students who are quick to blame themselves if something goes wrong.  I can smell mid-terms and finals a mile away.

Vincent van Gogh put it in a most memorable way:  “If you hear a voice within you say ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

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Dr. Amit Sood reminds us that it is not just what we say to each other that matters, it’s how we say it and doggone it, he makes an example of his dog. If he said “Simba, you won’t get any treat today” or “Simba, you are a bad dog” in a kind and loving voice, Simba will continue wagging his tail. But if he tells Simba he’s the best dog in the world in the meanest voice, Simba would cower down.

Sometimes the way we say things is even more important than what we say.  “When you speak harshly to yourself, you stimulate the same brain areas that activate when the brain experiences bullying”.  We actually bully ourselves!

One workaround is to smile with your eyes during the day – it’s difficult to self-bully when your eyes are smiling or as Dr. Sood says “Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love—because you are.”

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The phrase “touch grass” is internet slang used to tell someone they’ve been online too long, are too deep in digital arguments or drama, and need to step away from the screen to reconnect with real life.

It’s a gentle insult wrapped in good advice — suggesting that someone has drifted too far into virtual worlds or echo chambers and could use a little real-world grounding. A bit of sunlight, a walk outside, or just literally touching grass might help them reset.

I teach college students who have no problem turning off their phones — most don’t like that they spend about 93 minutes a day on TikTok.

But there’s another way to escape the pull of screens in a world where you can’t live or work without them: stay busy. Fill your time with things that matter offline, and you’ll touch grass without even thinking about it.

“Simply put, humans are not wired to be constantly wired.” — Cal Newport 

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During the recent Amazon Web Services outage, more than 1,000 web-based products were affected not the least of which was internet dependent beds – the kinds that cost thousands of dollars and allow temperature control and positional variations.  From an X post via ars technica) “Would be great if my bed wasn’t stuck in an inclined position due to an AWS outage. C’mon now.”

From Reddit: “I woke up too hot in the middle of the night last night and kept double-tapping like a maniac to adjust the temperature down since I wasn’t getting any haptic feedback. I only found out why after I got up in the morning.”

We are hopelessly tethered to the Internet – imagine not being able to adjust a smart bed into a smart comfortable position.

Consumers can start by asking one question before buying anything “smart”: What happens if the internet goes down?

Present Shock author Douglas Rushkoff was right:   “We are being programmed by the very devices we program.”

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You know the debate – I can take criticism, but only constructive criticism.  But what about criticism from a bot, from artificial intelligence, how would you like that?

According to a Dayforce study (they’re an HR software company), 87% say they use artificial intelligence at work, 57% of managers and 27% of employees yet 71% of workers have had no AI training.

But the missing link is that it doesn’t actually study how AI-driven criticism or feedback affects people.  The survey is about adoption and training, not how bots giving feedback might impact morale, motivation, or performance, which would need other behavioral or psychological research to fill in.

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak back in 1983 said “Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”

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Sometimes it feels like with each new day, we’re facing the same old problems.  But actually, many times we chip away with solutions or workarounds and still feel like we’re getting nowhere.

One reason is that people actually are pretty good at eventually dealing with their life’s challenges – what they (I should say, we) do not do really well with is moving on.  I have friends struggling with separation and marital issues who are making real progress but going back and sawing sawdust, as Dale Carnegie would call it, creating a major problem.

We can’t heal while replaying the same story in our heads. As Fr. Martin Padovani says, “Emotions themselves aren’t the problem — it’s what we do with them that keeps us stuck.” Moving on means forgiving ourselves and others, accepting that what’s done is done, and redirecting that energy toward something new. It’s not denial; it’s release. The future won’t look different until we stop staring at the rearview mirror.

Ian Morgan Cron says “When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.”

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Have you heard about Delete Day that was held in Manhattan where 100 people got together to trash their social media apps and get back in touch with life?  Other events are planned for cities here and abroad. The idea is get off of social media, it’s toxic.  And with artificial intelligence (AI), things get more worrisome.

Starting around December 2025, ChatGPT will allow “erotica for verified adult users” under a new age-verification system — part of its “treat adult users like adults” principle. When I initially asked ChatGPT about this because all my students use their app, they denied it.  When I pressed them, they admitted it. They’re already pulling a fast one.

Young people are getting ahead of this.  I have seen more deleting of apps (even if temporarily) than before – they are aware that life is not better because they are addicted to an algorithm.  Still, I saw a ten-year old boy with his father in the Apple Store this weekend being fitted for his first iPhone.

In today’s world, trusting algorithms for health and happiness is not the only option.

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”   That was said in 1946!  Almost eighty years ago! By Albert Einstein.  So, our current distraction is not our first.

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I went to the local New Balance store to buy a new pair of shoes; unhappy with my Asics – I wound up with four teenish looking salespeople to come to my aid.  So, I asked one: “What shoes do you wear when you are not required to wear New Balance in the store?”  Without hesitation, one said, “Adidas” and that sealed the deal.  No, I didn’t buy the Adidas. I bought New Balance because I knew I would get honest answers to my questions.

Honesty isn’t always appreciated.  When I was a teen working in the West Philly Sears sporting goods department, I talked a grandmother out of buying a very expense tent supposedly for her grandson for them to use on a family camping trip – such a nice lady.

Turns out she was not a grandmother but a Sears shopper checking to see that sales associates were upselling at all costs — so, I was banished to the snack bar for a few months as punishment.

There’s something about honesty that never goes out of style even in the present age of the internet, social media and dare I say influencers.

Honesty earns something far more valuable than approval – trust.  Gloria Steinem used to echo President James Garfield when she reminded us, “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.” 

Snackable and sharable.