Regrets

The one sure thing about regrets is that we can never do anything to change them.

Living in the past which is where regrets live is a waste of time and effort.

What regrets are good for is helping us evolve into the person we want to be today – now – when it is possible to create a better outcome.

People who live in the past live lives of regret that cannot be changed but those who learn from the past are already the winners.

My past career regrets have been recycled to the present which is far more rewarding.

Past relationship regrets help to modify the search (just like on Google) for a more fitting life’s partner.

Childhood illnesses can be gifts of good health when applied to this moment.

The proper place for regrets is not holed-up in the past but freed to bring success and happiness in the present.

Fear of Failure

Fear of failure is useless.

If an Olympic athlete is so scared of losing, what would be the point of even competing – and they spent years preparing for one event that has everything on the line.

If we want to advance our career but fear losing what we’ve got, no advancement is possible except by accident – a long wait, indeed.

When we speak or lead a group, nervousness is actually the fuel that helps us succeed when we can make the butterflies fly in formation.

To start over in anything is daunting except the alternative of more of the same is failure by choice.

We can never fail — only fail to try.

Worries

Worries by themselves are not actually as destructive as piling one on top of the other and letting them build up.

That’s what we tend to do – add worry upon worry.

To break the habit (and it’s one that we learn by necessity early in life) a simple cut and dry technique is used to help reduce the sheer number of worries.

For every new worry, eliminate or resolve a previous worry.

It can be done and is easy to learn – if you’re worried about something at work today, see if there is something else either at work or elsewhere in your life that you can let go of at least temporarily.

Often worries resolve themselves without us doing anything but we don’t let them go and formally dispense with them – so they remain with us.

99% of that which we worry about never happens but we keep carrying them around and adding to them.

For every new worry, let one go.

Transition from Stress

A friend of mine was having marital issues based on the stress that he felt at work.

His wife was a stay-at-home mom with two children, breast cancer and she had her hands full.

They just moved into a new neighborhood which is how I met them.

Things got so stressful at work that it carried over to home and it didn’t take long for the two of them to litigate their problems and anxieties in the form of shouting thus creating more stress.

They loved each other.

My friend made one marriage counseling appointment with a psychologist – and the advice they received was really worth the money they paid for one session.

When you end your work day, give yourselves one hour of alone time to unwind before interacting with each other and talking about your day.

From day one this worked and their marriage prospered as they valued the time that each one needed to transition from stress.

No

Today try to say no at least once.

It doesn’t have to be rude and you don’t even have to say the actual word “no” but decline something that is a bit too much for you to accept.

We get used to taking on burdens placed on us by others and add to our own anxiety by being willing to go along with something else that will make us unhappy – after all, anxiety is caused by worry on top of worry.

When you find the right thing to turn down, do it for you – other people don’t know the stresses in our lives. They barely know the ones in their lives.

If it works and makes you feel better as it does for me, find a way to add “no” and give yourself some much-needed control over stress.

Change

As much as they say they like it, people are put off by actual change – it can be intimidating.

What they like instead is better.

I’m not going to change myself, I’m going to be a better person

Life doesn’t always need to change — it just needs for us to make what we have better

Self-confidence doesn’t need to be different, work with the confidence you have.

Changing someone else is futile until you can work to become the person you would want as a friend or associate

Be the fine person you are – never change – always make it better

Focus on Strengths

Play your strengths over and over again.

We don’t listen to music we don’t like so why repeat things we don’t like about ourselves or others see as negatives.

Know how to stop mistaking weaknesses for strengths and play your greatest hits.

Privacy, Empathy & Personal Days

Four-time Grand Slam Tennis champion Naomi Osaka is taking a lot of heat personally and professionally because she is dealing with mental health problems.

She withdrew from the French Open in May and has been lying low ever since.

She was fired for not fulfilling her media commitments by Roland Garros, merchandise dealer.

Mental health is a serious issue today and everyone is entitled to privacy and empathy.

Personal symptoms are private – not to be shared without permission

Mental breaks should be welcomed not criticized or punished 

It doesn’t matter who believes you – what matters is that YOU believe YOU.

Worry-free Monday

Today, postpone even thinking about anything new that worries you.

Tuck it away for 24 hours.

In fact, pick an exact time on Tuesday when you will deal with it.

Problems don’t solve themselves – at least it’s rare and every day all of us are hit with many opportunities to worry about something additional.

By postponing worry until a set time – say 24 hours later – it is step one in reducing anxiety because anxiety worsens as we add additional worries in our daily lives.

After that, we come to realize that we have some control over our anxiety.

We may never be able to change some things but we will always be able to change the way we look at them.

The Magic Word for Bullies

No is the magic word for bullies

No, I won’t do it

No, I’m not interested

No, I won’t hear of it

No, if you don’t stop, I’ll push back

And no, I’m not afraid

When faced with “no” bullies look elsewhere.