Self-Care

  •  Love the one you are.
  • Value your assets and even your quirks that make you
  • Be on call to defend against others who would ding your confidence, health, hope or optimism.
  • How far would you go to help a loved one or valued friend? Be willing to go at least that far for yourself.
  • Self-care starts by retraining your brain to admire, respect and love yourself more in every way every day.

Smart & Smarter

  • You gain knowledge by being like a sponge.
  • Sponges can sop up everything until you need to squeeze it out.
  • The smartest person in the room is the one who asks the most questions and soaks up the knowledge not the one who is squeezing every last word out to impress others.
  • I worked for a program director at a radio station in Philadelphia who used to confuse me by asking things I knew he knew so one day I asked him why he did it.
  • His response: “If I talk to impress you with what I know, I learn nothing.  I prefer to learn something additional from you” – obviously, I never forgot his wisdom.

Tiny Changes

  • The secret to great change is tiny achievements.
  • It’s like rehearsing your lines or practicing a sport – getting the little things right adds up to big results.
  • Shooting for the moon is more than any human can expect on their own, but thinking in terms of little steps is within everyone’s ability.
  • A single still counts like a homerun in the hits column.

Being Heard

  • Last week my NYU students emphasized how important it is to them to be heard and in their study of human relations, they learned some effective approaches.
  • There is a difference between being heard and talking over someone else.
  • To be heard, first become an avid listener as the recipient is going to see hear through their perception of what you are sharing.
  • Ask questions, listen to the answers, educate instead of sell, accuse or blame and communicate.
  • The volume is less important than passionate listening.

Comforting

  •  This is how a parent comforted the worries of her child at bedtime – I found this inspiring and useful in many other ways.
  • My child’s list of worries was long and it was getting late. “I’m going to take these worries for you.  I’m going to put them in a box for the night.  If you want them back in the morning, you can have them, but you don’t need to hold on to them right now.  I can hold them,” I said, running my fingers across her eyebrows.  She nodded.  I pretended to take something from her chest in my hands.  I took them away with me.  She slept all night.  (Via The New York Times).

Transactional Relationships

  • A recent episode of HBO’s Billions saw Wendy consulting her Buddhist teacher’s advice on achieving inner peace by not being so transactional.
  • Transactional relationships are built on the expectation of reciprocation – both people being concerned with how they will benefit.
  • Sometimes transactional deals are necessary but often doing something without the expectation of receiving something in return is more rewarding.
  • Just as money can’t buy happiness, getting what you want doesn’t give you power.

New Rules on Judging

  • You get to judge you – no one else gets a vote.
  • Judging is one of the big personal issues right now as people become exposed to negative sentiments not only in person but through social media.
  • When you put something out on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok and other means do you regret it?
  • People say they can handle judging by others better when they are with friends and family, a place of safety or alone by themselves.
  • But even being alone requires a sense of ownership that you are unique and your life is not to be judged by how others observe it but how you live it.

Show Up as a Leader

  • A TikTok with great advice here
  • Confidence is compelling, timidity is off putting, indecision makes you lose the cooperation of others.

St. Peter’s NCAA March Madness Run

  • The Jersey City team no one ever considered an elite school became the first No. 15 seed ever to advance to the Elite Eight. 
  • Toward the end of the regular season, St. Peters went on a losing streak only to be followed by a winning streak.
  • Their coach Shaheen Holloway appears to be a quality leader and outstanding role model for his student players.
  • Although they lost their game against North Carolina, St. Peters’ success reminds us of the real things that help us succeed – what’s in our head means more than any other body part, skill or advantage.
  • Negative thoughts bring us down and occasionally as is the case with St. Peter’s the will to win can help exceed expectations.

Stop Saying I’m Sorry at Work

  • Replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you”.
  • You’re seen as strong and successful whenever you resist the urge to apologize to co-workers or bosses.