Psychologists say that most of our personality and by extension future health and happiness is determined by the time we are 3 years old.

Change after that point requires great desire and hard work.

It also requires something that we actually have the ability to do whenever we want to.

The ability to choose a different course of behavior.

• If we find ourselves in dysfunctional relationships, we have the ability to decide every day that we are going to seek healthier ones – even if it is just for a day or night.

• If we hate our jobs or the people we work with, we can choose to change jobs and stop relying on excuses like – my family needs the money, it’s a bad time to make a change – you can supply your own examples, I’m sure.

• If we are unhappy, we can choose to be happy if not forever for a period of time no matter how short.  It is within our power to do so.

• If we are letting family of origin issues affect our marriages and relationships, we have the ability to put a “stop hold” on that behavior even for a short period of time.

Scientists know that our brains determine everything about us.

In people who live by fear, a simple MRI will indicate that one part of the brain is larger than another.  Not good, but it explains why we are like this.

If we ruminate about things depriving ourselves of happiness, we can decide to choose to ruminate for only a half hour a week and be happy.  Again, an MRI will show the part of the brain that controls rumination to be larger than it should be.

We can retrain the brain.

We can choose to be happy, healthy and fearless.

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