Emerging From Divorce

Robin Williams says “Ah, yes, divorce … From the Latin word meaning to rip out a man’s genitals through his wallet”.

The multi-married Zsa Zsa Gabor counters, “I’m an excellent housekeeper.  Every time I get a divorce I keep the house”.

But Nirvana’s Curt Cobain nailed it, “Mom hates dad, dad hates mom, it all makes you feel so sad”.

I always thought that divorce was when two people could not get along with each other.

But I was wrong.

It is actually the other way around.  Divorce is when two people cannot get along with themselves and that’s when all the trouble begins for them, their partner and the unsuspecting children of their union. 

I wrote this, as a person who has experienced divorce, in my book.

Here are 5 revelations about divorce:

  1. In divorce, you are actually divorcing yourself.
  2. A lack of self-love and self-esteem paves the way for divorce.
  3. Two complete people make one complete marriage.
  4. Most good marriages are made or broken well before they occur in their families of origin.
  5. Counseling often saves individuals and not marriages.

Helen Rowland put it a powerful way: 

“When two people decide to get a divorce, it isn’t a sign that they ‘don’t understand’ one another, but a sign that they have, at last, begun to”.

Out of bad marriages come good people who, when they commit to dealing with their family of origin issues, can then enter into healthy relationships.