Ready to Stop Doubting Yourself?

It’s one thing when others attack us but it is unforgiveable to do it to ourselves.

Would you give a job to someone who doubted themselves?

Would you trust someone who didn’t believe they are made up of great intentions and positivity?

Why let someone else hijack our inner minds and plant seeds of doubt.

If you won’t make the conscious decision to always believe in yourself, how can you ask someone else to do it?

The Things We Do Right

Most people can name more things that are wrong with them than things that are right.

Repeating these negatives makes us the enemy within doing damage inflicted by others.

Since we have no problem spewing off a list of our faults, why not spend our time capturing and repeating the things that we do well.

Imagine focusing on the good.

Our children bring home their grades and say “4 A’s and a B” and guess what the first question will be?

All of us do enough things right daily to deserve remembering and repeating them instead of tearing ourselves down with negatives that don’t paint the full picture.

Recurrent Thoughts

I’m not a big reunion buff, but the one I attended made me freak out.

Not because I didn’t want to see people many of whom I lost touch with but because I wanted to remember them the way we were when we were in school together.

Would you believe me when I say I can still hear the voice of my best friend who left us too early in life – I can see him in my mind and hear him as if he was sitting right in front of me.

In radio, program directors like I was play the hits over and over again but what makes them special beyond the sound and the words is where we heard the songs first, what they mean to us and how they make us feel now.

In life, the vivid images in our minds and the strong voices in our ears is a reunion of the soul – we play it once and then, like radio, replay it again and again.

Finding Inner Joy & Happiness

Let’s be honest – kids are being weaponized to skip their childhood and adolescent years to fast forward into adulthood.

Along the way, we take Instagram pictures of them.

If Fred Rogers was alive, he’d be crashing his Trolley in the Neighborhood of Make Believe.

We need our childhood and we must channel our inner kid – that’s what’s so delightful about watching a toddler (pre-iPad) do silly things.

In radio and TV, we are virtually all children even when we grow up which leads me to what’s on my mind today.

In some ways don’t ever grow up – slow down, observe, interact, pursue fascination.

Take a different route to work or working from home, totally upend your routine.

Take time to talk to someone you have neglected that doesn’t have to do with work.

Find someone who needs you and make them laugh.

Make someone feel good about themselves for no reason other than you’d like someone to do the same thing to you.

Inner joy comes from interaction – let go and be yourself.

While You’re Thinking About Quitting Your Job

But becoming excellent is the secret to success.

Every “become rich” plan pales in comparison to those who vow to “become more skilled” at what they do.

Ironically, people think it’s the other way around.

If you get rich by accident or good fortune without developing superior skills, you’ll likely not be happy very long.

If you become the best at what you do, you win twice.

Once, because you’re putting yourself in a position to succeed financially as well.

But also, you get rich on happiness which is not for sale at any price.

It is just as important to make a life as it is to make a living.

Pursuing financial and career success isn’t likely to work without a passion for mastering the skills it takes first to be excellent.

Fear of Failure is Increasing, Now What?

This is on the rise – we simply have less confidence than we once did.

Fearing failure is being afraid to play the game.

The one sure way to fail is to think about it.

A tennis pro who thinks about losing is going to lose.

A team that expects to get beaten will.

A person who doubts themselves for even a nanosecond is betting against themselves even before they begin.

“There is only one thing that makes a dream impossible to achieve: the fear of failure” – Paulo Coelho

The Difference Between Choices and Feelings

Dealing with problems is not a feeling, you choose to do it.

Smokers quit not because they have a feeling that they should, but because they choose to resist the unhealthy pleasure.

Confidence in yourself is never a feeling – you don’t feel confidence first, you choose to believe in yourself and confidence follows.

An alcoholic doesn’t wait to feel like recovering, they choose to pay the price to stop drinking rather than pay the price for continued drinking.

Faith is a choice not a feeling – and faith is something that matters to you and is the only antidote for fear.

Faith over fear.

You don’t wait for the feeling to come over you before you choose the better path.

The choice comes first.

Feelings are a residue.

We choose with our heads and feel with our hearts.

And if you make the right choices and stick to them, good feelings result.

The Pause That Refreshes

It used to be Coca-Cola – one of the most memorable slogans of all time but today “the pause that refreshes” would be just as meaningful focused on mental health.

Tennis star Naomi Osaka, still struggling with anxiety, made a memorable description of the state of her mental health:

“I feel like for me recently, when I win, I don’t feel happy; I feel more like a relief,” she said. “And then when I lose, I feel very sad.”

Time out is needed to recover, rest and heal as tennis great Billie Jean King puts it.

We listen to our body when it is hurt.

Now we must also listen to our mind.

Mood Repair

Procrastination is mood avoidance not task avoidance – avoid the task, avoid the bad mood.

But even that catches up with us – college students who chill out during their first semester, pay for it with increased anxiety in the second according to research.

The future is nice but it isn’t a powerful motivator to take on the business at hand in a timely way.

The answer:

  • Make what you’re putting off feel more comfortable.
  • See the future as a road map to making things better than the present.

Looking at Life Like Sports

I like to look at life like sports.

You don’t show up not to play.

You never start the game thinking you will lose or you absolutely will.

You can’t win ‘em all so you try to win as many as you can.

Sometimes one thing helps you win not everything.

Even in losing, you can get better.

No matter how much you’re down, you play until the end.

This is what we do in sports but we can also do it in life.

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