Anyone can exceed the expectations of others.  It makes you a better friend, person and colleague.

People who somehow do a bit more, a bit sooner than others have that special sauce that makes them look and feel successful.  If you’ve ever wondered why few people meet their deadlines with a slew of excuses and even fewer exceed them, I’m with you.  Under promise, over deliver.

It’s not just college professors who hear excuses – this year’s most popular in my view is food poisoning.  It seems eating off those trucks on Manhattan streets is not conducive to stomach health.

We’re always looking for a way to distinguish ourselves from others in a busy, over-connected world and the answer is right there in front – exceed expectations and win the day.

Or as Atomic Habits author James Clear puts it:  “The best way to stand out is to quietly do more than anyone expects.”

I thought you would be interested in a college classroom discussion I had recently asking students to estimate how much time they spend on screens – four hours was the consensus.

But, upon afterthought, they started revising it – upward.

Then I came across a Statista figure from 2023 –– the average daily time spent with digital media in the United States was approximately 7 hours and 5 minutes and this includes activities such as using smartphones, computers, and other digital devices for various purposes like browsing the internet, using apps, and streaming content.

That’s 7 hours a day not being present — a figure that surprises nearly everyone.

As a result some students decided to shave back their social media time, some deleted Instagram or TikTok but most did not do anything about their constant texting.

We are addicted to screens but to what extent is it up to us and that thought is empowering.

Or as Anne Lamott says “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.”

In the final class of our NYU semester some seniors were rightfully concerned about finding a job in this economy but they were worrying about worry – they could name all the anxieties that were plaguing them.

In our stress-free living class, we emphasize gratitude as a cure for a lot of the psychological things that ail us.  It’s a different way of looking at things.  Your worries may not be as bad as someone else’s.

At the start of the semester, I asked each person to anonymously write down their three biggest worries – when the cards are shuffled and redistributed to someone else, everyone wants their own worries back (I have never had a time when anyone wanted to do a trade).

This doesn’t mean we like our problems, but it indicates we like them better than someone else’s.  It’s a reality check with benefits.

Pass it along.

Last week while visiting Phoenix I met a delightful Mayo Clinic technician who was so cheerful I had to do this — I asked her why she was so bubbly.  Her response:  I was diagnosed with colon cancer at 36 with three children, a single mom.

The process of facing her treatment and the uncertainty around it turned out to be a freeing thing for her – she says she never worries about a recurrence — she lives each day as if it was going to be her last day.

One benefit that she shared is that she works hard to balance her job as a tech with her role as a mom and her other interests.

It took something bad to bring so much good – just randomly meeting her reminded me that you don’t have to wait for a dire diagnosis to free yourself to live the life you really want.

As broadcaster and journalist John Diamond observed during his battle with throat cancer:

“Cancer is a word, not a sentence. Surviving it doesn’t just let you live — it teaches you how.”

Pass it along.

It takes 6 to 12 weeks of intentional effort to change the way you think and do things – a surprisingly quick time to refresh your attitude.

For anxiety, results can be seen in 4 to 8 weeks and meaningful improvement in 3-6 months.

This is a process not a quick fix.

One way is to schedule worry time – a short, specific day and time each week when fears and worry are dealt with – every other day, every hour other than that time is free and clear of the anxiety producing issues.

We often worry about worry – anxiety that we think about and then worry about and then enhance with another problem all without feeling better.

Writing it down, making a note on your phone and stashing it away until your scheduled worry day and time can relieve the pressure.

Schedule your worry, don’t let it schedule you.

Pass it along.

Ed Sheeran often talks about rejection early in his career and the need for resilience.

He reminds artists that talent matters, but perseverance and self-belief are what carry you through the long, uncertain climb.

He quoted a Japanese proverb that says  “Persistence is key. Fall down seven times, stand up eight.”

Pass it along.

Everyone wants to be happy or even happier as if a book, a podcast, a psychologist can make it happen.  As of 2025, over 100,000 books have been written on the topic of happiness, according to database estimates from Amazon, WorldCat, and Google Books.

And there are thousands of courses on happiness in one form or the other.

A comedian can make us happy or at least laugh like we are happy but in spite of the popularity of pursing happiness, it’s like chasing a butterfly.

There is another approach that we use in the music business department at NYU where young people devote their lives to making other people happy (at least temporarily) by listening to music.

Concentrate on becoming more resilient – getting up again when you’ve been knocked down.

And cultivating a love for giving gratitude that helps others and empowers us.

“Even in the tough times, you have to find a reason to keep going. That’s where joy starts.” — Alicia Keys

Feel free to share.

One of the few humble multi-billionaires announced his retirement.  94-year old Warren Buffett is retiring at the end of the year.

Buffett is the Oracle of Omaha for lots of reasons.  He says successful people have one two-letter word in common.

No.

No is like yes for people who take on too much, have weak boundaries and who get lost in other people’s work.

Buffett goes further.  He says no to almost everything. 

If you liked this pass it on to others.

“I don’t look at my phone anymore. I spent all my time seeing everybody else’s life, and I forgot that my own was right in front of me.” — Billie Eilish said this after winning multiple Grammy’s.

Billie Eilish didn’t quit her phone — she quit using social media apps to live through everyone else’s life.

She realized endless doom-scrolling was stealing her focus, her energy, her presence — so she chose something better: living her own moments fully.

The goal isn’t to ditch your phone.

It’s to make your real life too good, too vivid, and too real to want to trade for anyone else’s.

Feel free to share.

Learned this weekend that the mother of Pittsburgh Steelers first-round NFL draft pick Derrick Harmon died Thursday night shortly after her son was selected by the team.

Tiffany Saine was on life support in the hospital after suffering a stroke in 2022.

Derrick used some of his NIL money (financial compensation athletes receive in college) to buy his mom a wheelchair accessible van and he said she took him to many practices then went on to work.

The story is touching but the motivating part is what Derrick learned from his mom:

“If I’m tired, I’m injured, whatever it is, why can’t I keep going if she can get up and she keep going after brain surgery.”

“Why can’t I keep going if she can get up and she keep going after brain surgery”.

Life is tough, some people are tougher and all of us can always find good in bad.

Please share if you’d like.