It is common today to see parents tell their children that when they lose at, say, sports, they actually win.

This is not quite the message we want to convey.

Perhaps you work with people who have a high estimation of themselves just because they show up.

Last week, NFL Pittsburgh Steelers linebacker James Harrison made headlines when he said that the trophies his sons received for simply participating would be returned.

Here’s Harrison’s reaction via Instagram:

“I came home to find out that my boys received two trophies for nothing, participation trophies! While I am very proud of my boys for everything they do and will encourage them till the day I die, these trophies will be given back until they EARN a real trophy. I’m sorry I’m not sorry for believing that everything in life should be earned and I’m not about to raise two boys to be men by making them believe that they are entitled to something just because they tried their best…cause sometimes your best is not enough, and that should drive you to want to do better…not cry and whine until somebody gives you something to shut u up and keep you happy. #harrisonfamilyvalues”

What often gets lost is that there is meaning in losing – falling short of our goals.

Losing helps us discover how badly we want really something (or not).

Losing teaches us lessons that can eventually help us to win.

Whether on the field, in the classroom or office, falling short of our goals can be transformational.

We win when we don’t give up.

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