One of my readers asked how do you shake off damaging things your parents drilled into your head.

And I’m not talking about bad parents here because once you become a parent you know that your intention is always to do the right thing.

But sometimes comments like “You are your own worst enemy” and words about being lazy or selfish are not only hurtful during childhood but forever.

A parents voice lingers in our minds for better and for worse.

Parental influence is so strong that even after they are long gone, their words still play in your head.

So, a few thoughts on shaking off damaging things even loving parents have said.

1. Every time a negative parental comment rises to the surface again, force yourself to match it with something THEY said about you that was positive.  Level the playing field of your psyche.
2. Repudiate the negative voice.  If mom or dad said something like “You are irresponsible” and it sticks with you to this day, kill that thought with recent evidence to the contrary.
3. Laugh it off.  That’s right.  Humor is a great healer.  My mother said a lot of positive things to me but she was never impressed with how I spent money so when that thought came to mind, I would said, “You’re right mom, I should throw nickels around like manhole covers” (in other words, be really cheap).  I know it would make her smile.
4. Kill that negative thought with love.  Parenting is a tough job.  There is no school to train for parenthood.  When haunted by a negative parental voice, disagree with the sentiment but express your gratitude even if your parents are no longer with you.
5. In such cases, go to the cemetery and have “a talk” with your departed parent.  If you think they are in a better place, they are probably rooting for you and proud of what you have become.
6. And my favorite of all – “If dad were here today, he’d be proud of me”.  Try it.  It really works.