What you do 144 times every day?

Eat?  No way.

Meet people?

Change the channel?

New research shows that the average American now checks their phone 144 times a day.

But that’s down from 344 times a day in 2022.

89% of us within the first ten minutes of waking up.

What my NYU students are now doing to get their life back is to ask this one question:

How can this app or digital device make me more effective or happier.

It helps to prioritize phone use rather than try to eliminate it.

For more startling phone usage and habits reached, view it here.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving new ones here.

Happiness comes from realizing how fortunate you are.

A grateful person is rarely unhappy.

They find ways to see even small things – and especially small things – as reasons to be joyful.

Scientists tell us the human brain was not built for happiness – we’re actually not doing anything wrong when we’re unhappy, it’s not the default setting.

The brain was designed primarily to trigger flee or fight not euphoria.

Stimulating the brain by focusing on gratitude for small things is a proven way to lift yourself up.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Nothing worth doing is worth doubting.

Assume a virtue if you have it not as Shakespeare said.

Don’t look elsewhere for belief in yourself.

If you don’t have it, they won’t have it for you.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

When things just don’t seem to be going right, there’s always this.

For every person, not you, that you run into, think to yourself “you may also be having problems today, too – I wish you well”.

This silent affirmation redirects the barrage of unfortunate events to other people you may never know who are going through the same thing.

Life has ups and downs and that applies to everyone so compassion toward others helps.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Research studies show we are happier, less depressed, anxious or stressed when we are kind and loving to ourselves.

Name the person who loves you the most then look at yourself the way they do – it may be your dog or cat! 

Don’t judge yourself – to do so will cause more fear and anxiety.

Being compassionate to ourselves makes us more compassionate to others. 

Believe the good things about you and don’t be anxious to accept the bad things you hear. 

We spend a lot of time talking about the importance of being compassionate, but compassion starts with you.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

It’s true you only live once (YOLO, as it is known) so make the best of it.

It’s also true that saving for a rainy day is important.

Both can be true at the same time.

And there are consequences to both.

Spend too much and living once can be choking you with bills.

Not enjoying life to the fullest is a waste of your hard work.

I once asked my friend and mentor Wynn Etter of the Dale Carnegie Courses what made him pull the trigger to buy a brand new Cadillac.

He said, “I set a goal at the beginning of the year and reached it”.

That sounded like good advice to me:  set goals, attain them, reward yourself.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Look at a screen while you’re describing your symptoms.

Big medicine is the reason – they’ve found a way to make a patient’s records available seamlessly in case you need them in an emergency or with another doctor.

But, it’s taken a toll on doctor/patient relationships.

Nothing is more effective than looking a person in their eyes while you open your ears – turns out it’s the best medicine.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The best advice turns out to be no advice at all.

We humans just want someone to listen to us, to be there, to be supportive, to be heard.

You could solve another person’s problem with all that you’ve learned and it is not as important in the moment as listening to them.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The Guardian published a “lifeometer” designed to illustrate how much time we spend on our phones takes up so much of our life.

One hour a day equals 15 days a year.

Two hours a day 30 days.

Three — 45 days

Seven hours is as much as 106 days on the phone instead of in the present.

With today’s solar eclipse that has inspired so many people to look upward and observe a celestial event that will not recur until August 23, 2044, more of this and less of that.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

How many hours a day, week or month do you engage in physical walking or exercise of one kind or another?

Do you spend an equal or great amount of time on your mental health by de-stressing, doing yoga or some other form of self-awareness?

Many people exercise or try to, often we fail to commit to routines that aid in reducing anxiety, stress and unhappy situations.

Taking care of mental health is an act of self-love.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The inability or unwillingness to say no is what feeds the anxiety caused by overcommitting.

Sometimes, employers force the question and other times friends and family take advantage of your good nature to pile on another commitment.

Saying no is not rude – it can be said in many different friendly ways and most people will respect you for being honest.

Saying no is often saying yes to your good mental health – you get to decide.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The author Dr. Peter Attia’s rule of thumb for determining a person’s true age:

“If they talk about the past and all the things that happened and that they did, they’ve gotten old.

“If they talk about their dreams, their aspirations, what they’re still looking forward to, they’re young”.

The past is a reference file, the future is a plan but the present is the best that we have.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Kareem Abdul-Jabbar used to hold the NBA record for the most points in a basketball game until February 8 when Lebron James broke the record by pushing to 38,390 points.

Kareem certainly is not feeling bad about himself – his record came before the 3-point shot among other things.

Many have a bad habit of comparing themselves to others.

Do that and you always lose.

Not because it’s inherently true but because it’s an unfair matchup – like Kareem and Lebron.

Barry Bonds holds the record for the most homeruns in a season (73 in 2001) and the most career homeruns at 762 – but there was a controversy about enhancing drugs, a faster baseball.

Your friend who got the job, the promotion or the life you thought you wanted means nothing.

Comparing yourself to someone else is self-sabotage.

From now on compare yourself to only one person – you.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

You (not me)

Proud (like in I’m proud of you)

That must have been difficult (compassion not advice to people who are hurting)

Can

Will

Never give up

Words matter.  Negative words create a narrative of future failure.  Every time you say them you are rehearsing a bad outcome.

Powerful words motivate, inspire and reward to create a path to happiness and success.

Choose your words carefully.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Confidence can’t be outsourced.

It starts from within.

Spending any time at all doubting ourselves is a waste of time.

When we look to others for the confidence we don’t have, it never works.

Believe in you.

Never look to others for the confidence you feel you are lacking.

To do so makes you co-dependent on another and when their support is no longer there, we find ourselves searching again for self-confidence.

Erase a lifetime of doubt by retraining your brain to believe in you.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Americans check their phones once every 4 minutes.

Spend 26 seconds on average reading online content.

The young spend an hour and a half per day on TikTok.

It takes 10 seconds to choose a YouTube video.

The key question that helps you to gain control of your digital devices and social apps is:  “How EXACTLY does this device, this app, this program, this game, this podcast make your life better or happier?”

Answer that and you are back in control with time to spare.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The duty of a real friend may not be listening and giving advice or cheer a person up. 

It’s to acknowledge the reality of the situation.

Hear, respect and love the person.

Show that you haven’t given up on them.

Haven’t walked away.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

What if I told you that you were going to get the job of your dreams, make nice money, have a special person in your life and enjoy less stress – interested?

The reason we fear the future is because we have become caught up expecting the WORST even when we are doing our BEST.

The future is a journey – like a vacation, it is not to be feared.

If you want to have a new appreciation for the unforeseen ahead in the future, talk to a person who has run out of years on this earth – wouldn’t they take an uncertain future over no future at all?

From today on, vow to look for all the good things that have not yet happened instead of fearing what will likely never happen.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The best answer for someone who doesn’t care, is someone who does.

It’s a waste to try and convince such a person to become more invested in what they are doing but that doesn’t usually stop us from trying.

A better use of time is to look for someone who cares.

They will become an ally.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

There are 3 usual responses.

Panic, deny and run.

Or rise to the task.

Every opportunity changes the way the brain is wired.

Being committed to act decisively and without fear is a rehearsal for overcoming the problem.

Most people get undone when something goes wrong.

But imagine if you are ready to respond before something goes wrong.

Less fear, no denial and never panic.

Anticipate the worst to be ready to do your best.

Subscribe to DayStarters