Coaching

“You don’t have to like your coach, but you must respect your coach.  If you’re on good terms all the time, then he’s probably not pushing your hard enough.”

That’s what Hall of Fame hockey player Mark Messier said about the NHL coach Mike Keenan, also known as “Iron Mike”.

Whether we’re parents, or employers, whether its sports or work you get the best out of your team when you push them to grow.

It’s like no pain, no gain in exercise.

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Phony Excuses

I have a student who gladly spends 7 hours a day on TikTok – yes, and she can prove it.

A year ago, I had another student who spent 6 hours a day on TikTok, tried to give it up – it lasted a week and then back on it.

The average on social media for TikTok is 93 minutes a day.  And it’s not just TikTok, it’s Instagram and other apps.

This is insane but adults have their own issues looking into their devices instead of into the eyes of others or off in the distance to the world around them.

It is possible to enjoy social media or other apps without turning into that app – what it takes is a plan to take charge of your life.

Code writers build apps to keep you glued so they can serve endless content and ads. 

Feel free to share.

Positive Discomfort

Welcoming challenges rather than seeing them as threats is “positive discomfort”.

A recent Washington Post story tells how U.S. women’s national soccer team coach Emma Hayes kept her starters in the lineup for a “grueling” 90 minutes – it looked like the team would be eliminated by sheer exhaustion.

But instead, they won the gold medal.

This is no pain, no gain on steroids.

“Fun, goofiness, humanity and cohesion” and “love”.

But one important caveat.

Before you ask others to weather discomfort, the team whether on the field or at the office must feel that you are on their side.

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Getting Unstuck in Your Career

We spend most of our lives working and sleeping – not necessarily in a balanced way.

Glassdoor research indicates that 65% of professionals they surveyed are feeling “stuck” in their careers.

Tech people 73%.  Women 68%.  Men 62%.

Fewer people are quitting their jobs and layoffs are spreading with and without the help of artificial intelligence.

There’s work.  There’s need to make a living.  And there are career moves.

You don’t need a survey to know when you’re feeling you’re stuck in a job – do the one thing most people do not do – trust instincts and act.

Tomorrow is not a better time – now is the best time.

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Take 2 Doses of Music and Call Me in the Morning

It turns out that music may be better than drugs to pep up our moods.

Clinical research shows every area of the brain responds positively to music.

In one of my NYU classes, students are asked to share “mood music” at the start of each class and tell how that selection found them.

We are more than a streaming service or a radio.

People respond positively to music.

Southwest Airlines is experimenting with adding music that plays 120 beats per minute to push passengers to board their flight faster.

The uses are endless.

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Thank Full

The more we practice gratitude, the more we have to be grateful for.

“Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind” – Lionel Hampton

Happy Thanksgiving!

The 6 Most Important Words

Here is a short course in human relations:

The 6 Most Important Words …

            I admit I made a mistake

The 5 Most Important Words …

            You did a good job.

The 4 Most Important Words …

            What is your opinion?

The 3 Most Important Words …

            If you please

The 2 Most Important Words …

            Thank you!

The Most Important Word …

            We

The Least Important Word …

            I 

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How to Say “I Love You” Without Saying It

The radio legend Paul Harvey shared a story about a man who expressed love in a most memorable way – a way we might want to emulate and a way I shall never forget.

  • Often the words “I love you” are empty or hard to say for some people.
  • But Harvey shared a stellar example of how to communicate this powerful emotion without having to say it.
  • He told the story of this husband who put a note in the glove compartment of his wife’s car right next to the insurance card and the owner’s card.
  • She probably would never see it – unless …
  • On it, he wrote her a note that said he was so sorry that she had to be in an accident, and that she was not to worry how he would feel about the damage to the car. After all, she was fine and that is all that mattered.

Imagine opening the glove compartment of your car in a stressful situation like an auto accident to read the premeditated reassurance from a loved one that the most important cargo is you and not the mangled metal.

Steven King says:

“The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them”.

I hope this is shareworthy.

The Advantages of Smiling

There was a wonderful guy who was a disc jockey and later program director of WFIL in Philadelphia.

It was memorable to watch Jay Cook work.

As soon as his microphone went on, he put a smile on his face.  Then he talked.

There’s no doubt that smiles change the way others see and respond to us.  But they also change us.

You can’t be mad with a smile on your face. Or down. Or unhappy

Smiling is a real tool to bring about positive change initiated by you and not dependent on others going first.

As Tom Wilson said, “A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”

Kobe Bryant’s Key Motivator

Kobe Bryant spoke publicly and lovingly about his Lower Merion, PA high school teacher who taught him a key driver of motivation:

  • “Rest at the end not in the middle”.
  • Bryant joked that sometimes he actually listened in school – judging from his basketball career, he really listened.

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