There is an epidemic of stress that few of us have been able to avoid and many of us have not been able to control.

Incredibly, much of the stress in our lives comes from those very close to us – friends, family and often people we spend the most time with who cause workplace related stress.

But real friends do not cause anxiety in others.

People who do are egocentric and sometimes try to project their unhappiness on those who are only a short distance away from their lives.  And in today’s digital world, we are ALL a short distance away from potential anxiety producers.

Take this stress test:

1. Are those close to you making everything about them and not you?  If so, they are not available to be your friend even if that is their intention.
2. Do they give you ultimatums – do this or do that or I am disappointed in you?  If they try this, they are manipulative.  Real friends do not manipulate.
3. Are they emotional or do they trigger emotional stress in you?  Those who do are often more interested in bullying than being a true friend.

Think of the best friend you have right now.

Are they kind?  Do they give without expecting anything in return?

Here’s an overlooked marker:  do they listen at least half the time and speak the other half?  Are they there for you without regard to gaining anything in return?

Friends don’t let friends cause anxiety.

It is unreasonable to expect such people to change their behavior.  You must change yours.

Spend more time with people who produce warmth and reassurance and less time with those who make their whims, problems and desires kidnap your relationship.

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