Anticipating the Loss of a Loved One

There should be a moratorium on death at holiday time.

That unsettling feeling that time is growing short for relatives and friends that we really care about.

There are no shortcuts to grieving – the necessary step we must all pass through dealing with the loss or anticipated loss of a loved one.

Often the months or years left with an individual we care about are strained because we feel the stress and anticipate the loss in many negative ways.

One helpful thing may be to be grateful for the time you have had together.

Gratitude is like aspirin – it works on almost everything.

Instead of counting the days left, emphasize the days we’ve had together.

When we fear the end, focus on the beginning and the middle – it can be so rich and soothing.

Let go – not of hope, but of control.

Magically, letting go makes us feel like we have more control over things.

In fact, these principles are not just good when we anticipate the loss of a loved one, but enrich relationships that continue along at any age.

Nothing can rob us of beautiful memories except the fear that life cannot continue endlessly.

Live for today.

Visit the past as if it were a file cabinet and close the file when you’re done.

And see the future as a perishable gift that is not ours to give but ours to rejoice in.

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