You (not me)

Proud (like in I’m proud of you)

That must have been difficult (compassion not advice to people who are hurting)

Can

Will

Never give up

Words matter. Negative words create a narrative of future failure. Every time you say them you are rehearsing a bad outcome.

Powerful words motivate, inspire and reward to create a path to happiness and success. They are better than any pep talk that has ever been given because they are real, relevant and reminders of all that is good in people.

Choose your words carefully.

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Craig Berube was fired as the coach of the Philadelphia Flyers hockey team a few years ago after subsequent years of kicking around as a minor league coach, NHL assistant coach and longtime tough guy who recorded far more fighting minutes than goals scored.

After the Flyers, Berube couldn’t find another hockey job so he became an analyst and eventually took a job once again as a minor league hockey coach in the St. Louis Blues organization.

Suddenly in January, he got called up to replace The Blues coach who was fired and Berube became the Interim coach. Translation: we’re not sure that you will be the coach next year but you can have the job for now.

In that time, Craig Berube found himself an excellent young goal tender, taught the Blues players to believe in themselves and play for each other putting personal ego aside (and yes, Berube inherited some talented players who had the reputation of playing for themselves).

In an unlikely chain of events, the Blues who were in last place when Berube took over as Interim Coach, started winning. They made the playoffs. Actually knocked off some teams that would have been unthinkable months earlier.

They made it to the Stanley Cup Finals against the Boston Bruins and took the series to the seventh and deciding game.

In a storybook ending, The St. Louis Blues and their “interim” coach won hockey’s biggest prize.

Craig Berube became the rare coach who actually won a Stanley Cup.

The difference between failure and success is often the unwillingness to stop trying. Not only did Berube have that in his blood but infused his players with the same no quit spirit.

Success often comes right after things couldn’t get any worse – if you refuse to give up.

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More than half the day is spent on digital devices.

Previous generations used to limit the amount of time children were able to watch TV.

Today, it’s not TV, it’s screen time, homework on iPads and social media, You Tube and video games.

Why is it so easy to binge watch on Netflix but not binge on spending time interacting with each other in person?

Even if you want to stop, Netflix rolls the next episode before you can reach for the remote.  And it’s not just streaming video, it’s video games and social media (Facebook, Instagram, Twitter).

But there is a way to balance binge watching video and no, it does not mean turning the TV off.

Commit to spending the same time you binge watched shows last night with face-to-face contact with people you love or who make up an important part of your life the next day.

This way, the black hole of digital distraction can inspire the warmth of real time relationships guilt-free.

For example, offset two hours of watching half-hour episodes of You’re Dead To Me (Netflix) with two hours of face-to-face and 100% totally present (no phones or distractions) with a living, breathing, loving person you care about.

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What is considered a good batting average in Major League Baseball?

Between .250 and .275.

Very good batters hit .300 or above.

A batting average of .400 over a season is thought to be impossible in today’s sport.

That means a good baseball player succeeds only about 25% of the time failing 75%.

A very good player enjoys success 3 out of 10 times but fails 7 out of 10.

And virtually no one will succeed at the plate in this sport over an entire season even 40% of the time.

Yet we focus on batting 1.000 every time we do something or else we’re tough on ourselves.

How about this?

Shoot for 1.000 in effort, 25% success, 75% failure upon which you will get another try at it.

And stop killing ourselves for being human.

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The only thing worse than being wrong is to act like you were right.

Some people believe apologizing is a sign of weakness.

They have it backward.  It’s a sign of strength.

No human is 100% alwaysright – in fact, being more right than wrong would be a record-breaking accomplishment that has probably never happened.

Putting ego aside, “I’m sorry” are the words that make you both strong and authentic at the same time.

It takes strength to be sincere about being wrong without adding excuses in to justify your original mistake.

As odd as it may sound, the more you practice saying “sorry”, the easier it becomes because an apology is not embarrassing, it’s empowering.

What are you sorry for and why?

What are you going to do about it?

Are you sincere?

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If it’s worth doing, it’s worth believing that you can.

The fear is worse than the reality.

Being under pressure creates self-doubt.

I can’t do this. 

Once that thought gets in, the fear of blowing it becomes a real option.

Of course I can do it.

Sports teams do not obsess about what losing looks like even though one team is destined to lose.

Fear is the enemy – never your ability.

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To change the negative narrative, vow never to doubt yourself or take to heart the doubts of anyone else.

There is no good that can come from being negative about yourself, anyone else or the situation you find yourself in.

Another way to put it is — spend your day identifying and shooting down every negative thought that comes at you and you will be on the road to increased happiness.

Negativity makes needed positivity impossible.

It takes work to filter out the negative news around us, the people who for whatever reason always tell us we can’t do something and that inner voice that somehow exists within us that shoots down our best instincts automatically.

The most positive person I know is 95-years old.

She fights through all the problems you might expect and some you would never guess.

And she does it instinctively with a great sense of faith that it always pays to be our own best friend.

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Happiness is like a butterfly – the more you chase it, the more it eludes you.

It’s easy in a fast-paced world to pursue happiness like we work a “to-do” or bucket list.

Let happiness come to you at its own speed, in its own time.  It can’t be forced.

Happiness arrives just in time when we let it come to us not when we chase it.

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Why do we even have regrets?  There is nothing that can be done about them and more often than not what we regret launches us into something better – and yet, we rarely say “I have NO regrets” and mean it.

A broken marriage can lead to a happy one in the future.

Getting fired can be a blow to the ego (and wallet) but it’s surprising how many fired people go on to be successful in new jobs.

And yet we fixate on regrets.

Being rejected hurts for certain but what are we expected to do?  Be someone different for every person’s liking.

Steve Jobs got kicked out of his own company by the man herecruited to replace him as CEO.

When the feeling of being worthless creeps into the mind, shut it out and see why “regrets” often lead to the next opportunity to realize a dream.

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Whether we are jealous or the victim of another’s jealousy, it can stop today.

Feel powerful when you sincerely wish those who have what you want much happiness.

Because you have something good doesn’t mean I can’t also eventually experience the same thing.

It’s okay if someone has what you want or think you should have – you may be blessed with other good fortune.

Jealousy kills relationships – think about that if you covet close friendships.

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