Sounding confident doesn’t mean being confident.

Talk to yourself as a believer in you – not to convince other people that you are competent.

Instant confidence booster:  always think of the things you do well, no reason to concentrate on things you are criticized for.

Confidence is perishable – when things go good it automatically gets better, when things are tough, confidence is strained. 

Sticking with something is a confidence builder.

Failing is a strength, take credit for your willingness to overcome adversity. 

Often, just saying something positive about yourself, builds confidence. 

Before I speak to audiences, I always remind myself that I have earned the right to be standing there.  That I have the skills to share what is on my mind and that I respect the audience the way I expect them to respect me.   It never fails.

Confidence is your ability to handle anything, deal with everything and stick with it until you succeed.

Failing has nothing to do with losing confidence.

Forgetting about the fine person you are has everything to do with it.

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It’s normal to question ourselves from time to time.

But never to doubt our ability, motives or confidence.

Never bet against yourself. 

Overcome doubt with focusing on past accomplishments – big and small. 

Doubt is personal sabotage. 

Anything worth doing is worth believing.

Often doubting ourselves is simply fear of failing – banish the thought. 

It’s not fair to ask others to believe in you if you’re not prepared to believe in yourself.

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Why do we give up?

Nothing good happens when we stop trying.

It’s self-inflicted – no one makes us do it.

Giving up means you really don’t want it that much.

No one gets to discourage you from your dreams and ambitions.

Another word for giving up is surrender – never, never willingly surrender pursuing the life that you want. 

No person – no matter how powerful or close – can hurt us more than we hurt ourselves by giving up. 

If it’s worth doing or worth having, it’s worth fighting for.

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The good news about loneliness is that you have lots of other people feeling the same way who are also looking for a meaningful connection.

Looking for friendship is a surefire way not to find it.

Spend all efforts on being the person you want to be not someone you think others might like. 

Think of yourself as an icebreaker – most people are looking for someone to go first so hit start. 

Loneliness is not shameful or embarrassing – it means you are hungry for stimulation and compassion.

A social media friend is not necessarily a friend – loneliness is combatted in real time.

Your new motto – do, don’t stew.  Reach out.

Loneliness is a choice, but there are better ones like anticipating something positive that can happen when you decide to replace it with friendliness.

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The divorced couple acting punitively against each other and often their children are an emotional mess that takes a huge toll.

Life is full of people who acted in a way that is over the top – inhumane, mean, even viscous.

Some people don’t deserve forgiveness, but do it for your sake.

To forgive does not mean to forget.

Forgiveness does not mean putting up with continued abuse that must be stopped in its tracks.

Don’t ask the perpetrator to also forgive – forgiveness is unilateral and without strings.

You don’t have to tell the other person that you forgive them, just know it yourself.

If you won’t forgive the other person because they don’t deserve it, you run the risk of becoming like the other person. 

We gain control by giving up control and living life the way we want to be.

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Never suffer silently – articulate what’s bothering you even if it is to yourself.

Hurt feelings are a part of life – they are a down payment on future happiness yet to come.

Allowing someone to discourage you is hurtful behavior on your part.

Being human and feeling awful about something or someone who has hurt you is nothing to be ashamed of – deal with it and move on.

Rule number 1 – do not strike back at those who hurt, you will not be happy being like them. 

Take heart in realizing that life is a risk – when we let people get close to us they are within close proximity to hurt us. 

Pain is transformational.

It comes and it goes.

It’s what happens in between that can be worse than the hurt and there is something we can do about that.

Love yourself a little bit more.

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Discouragement comes from not seeing the progress we are making.

Not quitting is progress.

Failing is progress as long as you try again.

Progress can be hidden in more work left to do – sometimes you have to look harder.

Even knowing when to quit is progress worthy of hearty congratulations.

No move is a good move if you are uncertain – rethink the plan.

Just looking for the mistakes, the bad breaks, the steep mountains to climb – is self-defeating.

Rededicate yourself to searching for progress even when it appears hidden.

That’s how successful people take on new challenges successfully.

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Having dreams about a better life are the essential compass for pursuing that which you want.

But acting on dreams is the harder part.

Every worthy dream deserves a worthy scheme – a plan to at the very least take a step in the direction of seeing it come true.

When dreamers are hopers then they are likely gazing into the future of what could have been.

Armed with a plan, dreams come true.

It takes many steps to fulfill a dream – ask, are your prepared to take these steps. 

Small steps are as valuable as big ones.

Also have a plan for discouragement – don’t allow it for even one second. 

How many failures are you willing to endure to live the life you want? 

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Don’t look for the approval of people you don’t respect.

Yet that’s what we do – and we do it subconsciously.

Start by being the first one to show approval of your plan, your idea, your life and all that represents the person you really are.

Trying too hard to win the approval of others (including family members), is the first sign that you’re going to wind up feeling badly about yourself.

Only the people who have clearly and consistently won your respect get your ear.

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Stage one – devastation.

Loss of confidence.  Often surprise.  Inability to comprehend why things went wrong.  Dejection.

Stage two – blaming yourself.

What did I do wrong (not what did others do or how did circumstances affect my fate).  Fear of trying again.  Deeper loss of self-esteem and an inability to come up with a plan to persevere.

But that doesn’t have to be the end of it.

Start reminding yourself successful people usually overcome adversity. 

Learn from the situation and be specific.

Never blame yourself – denigrating you is not a winning formula to move ahead.

Be extra kind to yourself – setbacks hurt, we’re human, but being nice rather than overly critical can heal a lot of hurt.

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