We know that practice makes perfect.
But practicing the wrong things is worse than not practicing at all.
Do not repeat things that will not make you better.
Practice only makes perfect when you’re practicing the right things.
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Did you ever take a course that was so important that it changed your life?
May I share one of mine with you?
A general semantics class from a college professor who said this:
“…we ought to keep our expectations of achieving a goal low and our motivation for working to achieve it high”.
When we let our expectations go too high, we are disappointed when they are not fulfilled which is much more likely than the fulfillment of our expectations.
With high hopes you are prepared for BOTH success and failure.
But with high expectations, only success.
“Expect the worst and hope for the best” – the only happiness advice you will ever need.
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Most people don’t really want change – in fact it scares them.
They want better.
Next time you have a great idea, instead of making it feel like change, try making it feel like better.
No one doesn’t like better so start today to reprogram how you think and talk about improving things.
Save change for yourself when you’re ready for a new adventure – for everything else, there is better.
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People without confidence fail.
Those who believe in themselves succeed.
Allow negative thoughts, you hesitate.
In every other part of life, what we envision first is what we then see.
The same is true of ourselves.
As William James put it “people by and large become what they think of themselves” so no books, videos or courses are needed to improve your life – start by changing the way you see yourself in it.
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Steve Levitt, the co-author of Freakonomics cites a new study that indicates that just flipping a coin on big decisions makes people happier six months after a big life change.
That we would be better off if we did more quitting – like in our jobs.
That big life decisions like marriage and even whether to get a tattoo are better left up to chance.
Yes or no coin-flip choices were monitored at two months and again at six.
The coin flip subjects were largely happier they did it which begs the question, what is it really that makes people happy – throwing their lives open to fate or fighting to keep things the way they are?
Levitt says “A good rule of thumb in decision making is, whenever you cannot decide what you should do, choose the action that represents a change, rather than continuing the status quo.”
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If we’re going to be honest, reopening our lives comes with its challenges.
People are not meant to be hunkered down and absent a daily routine.
When a player comes off the bench cold, he or she is telling themselves I have what it takes to succeed in this game.
So why is it any different for us?
You’ve done it before and can do it again.
You’re rested or should be.
When I got my first opportunity to be on TV, the program director said, “you’ve done this before, haven’t you?” Of course, I said skirting the truth.
I had imagined it since I was a teenager. I rehearsed it in my mind over and over. Indeed, I was ready.
As complicated as life is, one thing remains simple.
If we don’t believe in ourselves deeply, how can we ask anyone else to?
That’s the phrase to repeat every time self-doubt creeps in.
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We’ve all heard of the dreaded fear of failure but most of us rarely consider the fear of succeeding.
It even has a name – achievemephobia.
It’s real. It holds people back. Prevents accomplishments because fear of succeeding is fear of failure’s other cousin.
If I get what I want, I might lose it.
If I open myself up to 100% commitment and fail, I may become a bigger failure.
At least if I expect to fail, I can prepare for it. The fear of succeeding can be so sudden.
Fight it with thoughts like “I’m worthy of success”, “I won’t go negative on myself”, “I expect success because of I am earning the right to have it”.
It is almost impossible to stop a person who expects to succeed.
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The printing press meant faster transfer of information than writing by hand.
Radio was immediate and brought us active as well as passive listening.
TV eliminated a lot of the thinking – pictures did more of the work.
Digital is instant, totally eliminating lag time.
But lag time is necessary to make good decisions.
Just because we have the technology to communicate instantly in real time doesn’t mean it helps make better decisions.
Our first idea is often the worst idea.
Our impulse to react when we feel threatened often turns into regret.
In spite of technological advances, time is still the best asset for making decisions.
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The leading medical journal Lancet says people who are physically active have 35 days of poor mental health per year.
Those who are not physically active have 53 down days.
Income has little to no effect on happiness in the recently published study.
On average a sedentary person would have to earn an additional $25,000 a year to be as happy as an active person.
There is a limit to the happiness benefit exercise can bring – for example, exercising 30-60 minutes three to five times week is the sweet spot.
Money can’t buy you love, as The Beatles sang, nor can it buy the additional happiness more activity can bring.
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If a worry propels us to act and solve a problem, it can be good.
Otherwise worry is a waste of time and yet most of us have become professional worriers and will not give it up.
My mother was one and I learned right by her side.
The trick is to spot the worry and then change the subject because in spite of our love for multitasking, it is not possible to have two thoughts at the same time.
It becomes a matter of retraining – spotting the worry, then changing the subject if the thing we’re worried about does not cause us to act and solve a problem.
The idea that worry can be learned and unlearned is reassuring.
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