The more we practice gratitude, the more we have to be grateful for.

“Gratitude is when memory is stored in the heart and not in the mind” – Lionel Hampton

Happy Thanksgiving!

Here is a short course in human relations:

The 6 Most Important Words …

            I admit I made a mistake

The 5 Most Important Words …

            You did a good job.

The 4 Most Important Words …

            What is your opinion?

The 3 Most Important Words …

            If you please

The 2 Most Important Words …

            Thank you!

The Most Important Word …

            We

The Least Important Word …

            I 

If you liked this pass it on to others.

The radio legend Paul Harvey shared a story about a man who expressed love in a most memorable way – a way we might want to emulate and a way I shall never forget.

• Often the words “I love you” are empty or hard to say for some people.
• But Harvey shared a stellar example of how to communicate this powerful emotion without having to say it.
• He told the story of this husband who put a note in the glove compartment of his wife’s car right next to the insurance card and the owner’s card.
• She probably would never see it – unless …
• On it, he wrote her a note that said he was so sorry that she had to be in an accident, and that she was not to worry how he would feel about the damage to the car. After all, she was fine and that is all that mattered.

Imagine opening the glove compartment of your car in a stressful situation like an auto accident to read the premeditated reassurance from a loved one that the most important cargo is you and not the mangled metal.

Steven King says:

“The most important things are the hardest to say, because words diminish them”.

I hope this is shareworthy.

There was a wonderful guy who was a disc jockey and later program director of WFIL in Philadelphia.

It was memorable to watch Jay Cook work.

As soon as his microphone went on, he put a smile on his face.  Then he talked.

There’s no doubt that smiles change the way others see and respond to us.  But they also change us.

You can’t be mad with a smile on your face. Or down. Or unhappy

Smiling is a real tool to bring about positive change initiated by you and not dependent on others going first.

As Tom Wilson said, “A smile is a facelift that’s in everyone’s price range!”

Kobe Bryant spoke publicly and lovingly about his Lower Merion, PA high school teacher who taught him a key driver of motivation:

• “Rest at the end not in the middle”.
• Bryant joked that sometimes he actually listened in school – judging from his basketball career, he really listened.

If you liked this pass it on to others.

It seems we’re caught up on what other people think of us especially when we post things on social media and wait to see how many thumbs up, likes or comments others do.

Our lives are not up for a vote – we should not be asking others to “like” what we do or say.

The more we try to treat our lives like an ongoing election, the more unhappiness it brings.

It doesn’t really matter whether others like us – do we like us?

Holding a virtual election on who we are as a person always ends in defeat.

Live life as if no one gets to vote on how you live it.

Finally, election news you can use – go ahead and share.

Boston Celtics Head Coach Joe Mazzulla before kicking off the current NBA basketball season said he feels “zero pressure” to repeat last year’s World Championship.

Never mind that the Celtics have won a total of 18 banners in their storied history.

“We’re all going to be dead soon, and it really doesn’t matter anymore. So, there’s zero pressure.”

“”There’s nothing anyone in this circle can do to me that’s going to impact my identity and who I am as a person or a coach. We’re either going to win or we’re not, and 40 years from now, none of you are invited to my funeral and that’s it.”

It’s blunt but it’s true.

Like life all the good things we do carry over from year to year.

If there’s one thing never to forget it’s what got you to success.

Added pressure does not help.

So many life lessons in sports – feel free to share.

The makers of Ruffles and Tostitos is planning to add 20% more chips into their bonus bags.

Ruffles and Tostitos were losing market share at Walmart while their own brand Great Value has been growing in chips and pretzels.

Many consumers feel the pinch but companies usually don’t until sales decline begging the question what’s a fair deal.

In human interaction when we promise more and do less, it usually doesn’t end well.

Maybe it doesn’t apply to food brands but when you make a promise and deliver more ahead of schedule, you are always going to come out ahead.

That last line could be life altering, feel free to share

4 in 10 people have not made a new friend in over a year.

We’re constantly told how social isolation is a bad thing and yet this long after the pandemic, it’s seems even harder to find new friendships.

The research was conducted for CheapCaribbean Vacations so you can understand their interest in surveying the marketplace.

But the time with a friend has no clock on it – in fact, more important than the number of friends we have is the time spent present — focused on what each other is saying.

I saw research recently that said to avoid social isolation even one friend fits the bill.

This fascinates me, if you find it helpful feel free to share.

If you’ve been born into a happy family accept it and enjoy.

If not, family does not have to be based on genetics.

I considered someone not related to me a close brother and some who were distant – other people feel the same way.

Thanksgiving is coming, a time when families get together and either have a ball or melt down – the beauty of relationships is that the people we trust, feel close to, enjoy and can get along with are family.

Celebrate the joy of healthy relationships and feast on their many benefits not the obstacles that often last a lifetime and make us feel unhappy.

I live these DayStarters which is how I can write them – please, share.

Sam’s Club believes the store they are opening in Grapevine, TX is the store of the future – soon to expand in 30 locations.

A robot sweeps the aisles, takes inventory, and checkout lanes are replaced with apps that allow customers to purchase goods without human contact although some human’s will standby.

Then there’s Costco – a company that values their employees who love to work for the company and will continue to serve samples of food in person to make your Saturday.

The long lines will remain, humans will ring you up, you will bring your own bags and boxes and any robotics or AI used will likely be behind the scenes.

You can replace some tasks, but not people as the future will show us.

Never be afraid of AI (artificial intelligence).  AI is just our best thinking scraped by algorithms – not our next thinking.

Share with a non-robotic tap below.

I asked one of my college classes to write a paper on the most difficult person in their lives as of two weeks ago.

Out of 25 students, 3 said they were the most difficult person in their own lives.  The rest cited family, friends and associates at work or internships.

We are not the problem.

We have problems – everyone does.

But we are the solution to whatever challenges come into our lives.

Just reminding ourselves from time to time of the power we have to make a difference is the difference.

Share with someone you think might appreciate this thought.

Very often we solve perceived problems before we can state what they actually are.

Think of that beautiful earthrise that was taken from the astronauts’ moon landing – the earth sure looks different than it does looking out the window flying from New York to LA.  We see more.  We gain a wider perspective.

One of my favorite lines that I utter when faced with a problem is – “let me go to the moon” and take a look at this problem for the deeper perspective.

Then, define the problem in one phrase.

The rest, we are pretty good at.

Hopefully, you get a chance to try this and if you like it, pass it on.

Life is tough enough without having to put up with the insults of others.

Sometimes they take the form of layoffs or firings that make people feel bad about themselves.

You’d think these companies would do everything they could to help valued employees (after all, they hired them in the first place) gain reemployment.  But they don’t.

Or the non-competes that are threatened and enforced to further hamper the reemployment prospects of those let go – they’re illegal in some states and there is a movement to make them illegal everywhere.

One of the toughest things on confidence is being cut loose or even working under the threat that it might happen and in our world today it is possible if not likely.

BUT, the one thing to protect us is self-worth because so many people who were discarded by employers have found new work, new life and even better pay by not believing the narrative that they are expendable.

This is a real threat today, share if appropriate.

The most effective thing that I do to motivate college students is to put in perspective how time is so important and not to waste it.  It goes like this:

A college student is one-fourth through their life expectancy based on the average age of an adult in the U.S. which is 78.

How important their 20’s are – from 20 to 35 according to Megan Jay author of The Defining Decade is when life is set for most people.

And how older people are happier than younger because they must learn to live each remaining day the best they can.

No matter your age, imagine the advantage to putting time on your side.

If you’d like to share, go right ahead.

I frequently remind my NYU classes that the average time spent on TikTok in the U.S. is 93 minutes – a day!

Obviously I have nefarious intentions to get them to do their homework assignments and keep up with reading comparatively.

Which got me to thinking that sometimes the best call to action is a statement of fact that cannot be denied to more effectively make a point.

Share away!

The time US adults spent at home increased by 10% — one hour and 39 minutes a day — between 2003 and 2022 according to the American Time Use Survey.

15-34 year old’s saw the greatest increase – two more hours at home in 2022 than in 2023.

Add to that the time spent on social media and digital devices, in front of screens or playing games and you can see why face-to-face social interaction – a recognized cure for loneliness and unhappiness – has become an epidemic.

I asked my college students born after 2004 this question last week:  “How many of you ever played baseball or even softball?”

3 out of 25 raised their hands.

More time outside doing just about anything or nothing seems like a step in the right direction to find more opportunities for in-person relationships.

Feel free to share.

From my friend Henry Kavett …

Poignant last words of Steve Jobs, Apple billionaire who died at 56:

“I have reached the pinnacle of success in business.” In other people’s eyes my life is a success.  However, aside from work, I’ve had little joy.

At the end of the day, wealth is just a fact I’ve gotten used to.  Right now, lying on my hospital bed, reminiscing all my life, I realize that all the recognition and wealth I took so much pride in, has faded and become meaningless in the face of imminent death.

You can hire someone to drive your car or make money for you, but you can’t hire someone to stand sick and die for you.

Material things lost can be found again. But there is one thing that can never be found when it is lost: Life.

Whatever stage of life we are currently at, in time we will face the day the curtain closes.

Love your family, spouse, children and friends… Treat them right .

Cherish them.

As we get older, and wiser, we slowly realize that wearing a $300 or $30 watch both give the same time.  Whether we have a $300 or $30 wallet or purse, the amount inside is the same.

Whether we drive a $150,000 car or a $30,000 car, the road and the distance are the same, and we reach the same destination.

Whether we drink a $1,000 or $10 bottle of wine, the hangover is the same.

Whether the house in which we live is 100 or 1,000 square meters, loneliness is the same.

You will realize that your true inner happiness does not come from material things of this world.

Whether you travel first class or economy class, if the plane crashes, you go down with it…

Therefore, I hope you realize, when you have friends, brothers and sisters, with whom you discuss, laugh, talk, sing, talk about north-south-east or heaven and earth,… this is the real happiness!!

An indisputable fact of life:  Don’t raise your children to be rich.

Educate them to be happy.

When they grow up, they will know the value of things and not the price. “

If this hit you like it hit me, please share with others

A new study – 50,000 women between 69 and 96 – discover that experiencing gratitude is beneficial for both physical and emotional health and … wait for it …

Those who experience more gratitude have a lesser risk of dying – they live longer.

It’s not just touchy feely any longer.

So, the nurses were asked to fill out a questionnaire about their attitudes concerning gratitude.

Three years later, women who had the highest levels of gratitude experienced a 9% lower risk of death of any cause, including cardiovascular disease, cancer and neurodegenerative disease.

Don’t need insurance, a wonder drug or doctor’s appointments.

Just saying “thank you” is a simple way to get started.

Finally, something positive – feel free to forward this to a friend.

It was my friend’s birthday on October 3. 

When I was reminded on social media, I said to myself that I would contact him later and perhaps write a note.

But before the day ended and on his birthday George Johns, a friend I’ve known in radio died.

So instead of the usual, yearly happy birthday wish, it was a sad face emoji and a missed opportunity for one last good wish delivered.

Fortunately, we have had no shortage of warm contact back and forth over the years but it made me remember how important it is to not put off the important stuff.

And do not postpone joy which is all that matters in a life of gratitude.

Did this affect you like it did me?  Pass it along.