We all lose it from time to time – some more than others, but even the Pope the other day lost his cool when crowds in Mexico pushed him into the wheelchair of an handicapped admirer.  He shouted back, “don’t be so selfish”.

When we lose it, a time out needs to be called immediately.  The longer we wait, the harder it is to walk away until more damage is done.

But when we become the object of someone else’s bad temper, two important things:

• Remove yourself from the abuse as fast as you can.  Never stand for abuse of any kind for any reason.
• Try to give empathy. It’s hard to do but very effective.  For example, as the ill-tempered person starts their rage, we silently say, “I feel awful for that person for having to be so out of control and so hurtful”.

Here’s the magic.

Just giving an expression of empathy for even just a few seconds often prevents rebound yelling – you know, where someone attacked you and you wound up attacking them even though it was not your fight.

We’re fallible and we live in an imperfect world but we don’t have to let someone have at us or provoke us to do the same to them.

It’s a decision and it’s in our hands.

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