When Under Attack

When I am criticized I have trained myself to initially do the opposite of my first visceral reaction – I agree with the critic.

“You’re right”

“Never thought of it that way”

I never accept abuse, in that case, I end the contact – otherwise, I keep encouraging people to tell me what they don’t like without having to get into a battle – after all, they’re not going to change their minds.

What usually happens is when faced with an open mind, theirs opens as well – a conversation ensues. I can’t count the number of times I have made a new friend or increased mutual esteem by refusing to argue.

People want to be heard – to the listener goes the advantage.