Traditional thinking is that when a friend becomes troubled or depressed, you should do what psychologists call “positive reframing”.  But it can backfire and make others feel worse about themselves when telling them how fortunate they are.

There’s another way to look at friendship – not as a cheerleader or advocate but as a supporter.  It may be that a friend’s job is not to try to cheer a person up but instead acknowledge the reality of the situation. To hear, respectand love the person. To show that you haven’t given up on them.  And you haven’t walked away.

A friend is one who walks in when the rest of the world walks out.

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