Actually, being happier would be a breeze if we weren’t trying so hard to be happier than other people – at least how we perceive them in our minds.

As clinical psychologist Meg Jay points out life should look better on Instagram.

Most feel pretty good about themselves until they compare with others on social media.

It may surprise you but young college students are very aware of the toll Instagram and social media is taking on their psyche and are voluntarily deleting apps (often temporarily) with various degree of success.

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Today, for one day, resist comparing yourself to someone else.

Let it go, don’t think about it a second longer and try something different.

“Don’t compare yourself to other people; compare yourself to who you were yesterday – Jordan Peterson, psychologist.

The only comparison that truly matters.

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Sometimes it feels like we’re in a rut – but how can you know for sure?

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: “If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?”  And whenever the answer has been “No” for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”

— Apple CEO Steve Jobs from his 2005 commencement speech at Stanford

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Disney CEO Bob Iger told Wall Street Journal reporter Kara Swisher in a 2005 interview — “If someone is going to eat our lunch, it might as well be us”.

This has business repercussions — be bold, take chances and act before someone else gets into your space.

It also has a personal meaning:  be bold, take chances and act before someone else gets into your space.

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That’s what research in the Journal of Health Psychology reveals – lots of little decisions we may not even be aware of and some big ones.

Those who are indecisive get bogged down and overwhelmed.

Decision makers turn out to be the ones who can accept that their decisions could go well or not.

Sometimes it’s just the best choice in the moment.

People with mental health issues or suffer from low esteem find it harder to trust their decisions.

Think of a decision as what works for you not so much whether it is a good or bad decision.

And sometimes having the luxury of time doesn’t make for better choices.

Decision makers don’t wait for perfect — they just act.

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You can’t expect to outsource self-confidence by looking to someone else.

Believe in you.

Never look to others for that which you don’t have.

The brain can be retrained – teach it to believe in you.

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“Character is built not in good times, but in bad times” said Apple founder Steve Jobs.

He said this to freshmen at his alma mater Reed College on August 27, 1991 and he knew what he was talking about.

NeXT computers were not selling well and Pixar experienced layoffs.

Adversity is a predictor of your next success because if you persist, it means you really want something and if you keep persisting, you cannot be denied.

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The most important relationship is the one you have with yourself.

It’s not possible to have healthy relationships with others without having one with you.

People spend so much time obsessing over making friends and very little time accepting and recognizing the one they are having with themselves.

Be the best friend you’ve always wanted.

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No one succeeds all the time – in fact, it is not necessary.

Even Caitlin Clark doesn’t make every basket (an amazing 40% from the three-point range which means this women’s hoops superstar misses from that distance 60% of the time – more than she succeeds).

Since when do we have to feel badly about not succeeding?

Failure is the rehearsal for success.

Because if you do it again, it tells you how badly you want it (and to keep doing it means it’s only a matter of time before you succeed).

There’s a reason we don’t always get what we set out to do – sometimes adversity introduces us to ourselves, to those around us and something we may not have even previously considered.

Today, I’m not going to be so hard on myself – I’ll concentrate more on trying.

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What you do 144 times every day?

Eat?  No way.

Meet people?

Change the channel?

New research shows that the average American now checks their phone 144 times a day.

But that’s down from 344 times a day in 2022.

89% of us within the first ten minutes of waking up.

What my NYU students are now doing to get their life back is to ask this one question:

How can this app or digital device make me more effective or happier.

It helps to prioritize phone use rather than try to eliminate it.

For more startling phone usage and habits reached, view it here.

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Happiness comes from realizing how fortunate you are.

A grateful person is rarely unhappy.

They find ways to see even small things – and especially small things – as reasons to be joyful.

Scientists tell us the human brain was not built for happiness – we’re actually not doing anything wrong when we’re unhappy, it’s not the default setting.

The brain was designed primarily to trigger flee or fight not euphoria.

Stimulating the brain by focusing on gratitude for small things is a proven way to lift yourself up.

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Nothing worth doing is worth doubting.

Assume a virtue if you have it not as Shakespeare said.

Don’t look elsewhere for belief in yourself.

If you don’t have it, they won’t have it for you.

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When things just don’t seem to be going right, there’s always this.

For every person, not you, that you run into, think to yourself “you may also be having problems today, too – I wish you well”.

This silent affirmation redirects the barrage of unfortunate events to other people you may never know who are going through the same thing.

Life has ups and downs and that applies to everyone so compassion toward others helps.

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Research studies show we are happier, less depressed, anxious or stressed when we are kind and loving to ourselves.

Name the person who loves you the most then look at yourself the way they do – it may be your dog or cat! 

Don’t judge yourself – to do so will cause more fear and anxiety.

Being compassionate to ourselves makes us more compassionate to others. 

Believe the good things about you and don’t be anxious to accept the bad things you hear. 

We spend a lot of time talking about the importance of being compassionate, but compassion starts with you.

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It’s true you only live once (YOLO, as it is known) so make the best of it.

It’s also true that saving for a rainy day is important.

Both can be true at the same time.

And there are consequences to both.

Spend too much and living once can be choking you with bills.

Not enjoying life to the fullest is a waste of your hard work.

I once asked my friend and mentor Wynn Etter of the Dale Carnegie Courses what made him pull the trigger to buy a brand new Cadillac.

He said, “I set a goal at the beginning of the year and reached it”.

That sounded like good advice to me:  set goals, attain them, reward yourself.

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Look at a screen while you’re describing your symptoms.

Big medicine is the reason – they’ve found a way to make a patient’s records available seamlessly in case you need them in an emergency or with another doctor.

But, it’s taken a toll on doctor/patient relationships.

Nothing is more effective than looking a person in their eyes while you open your ears – turns out it’s the best medicine.

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The best advice turns out to be no advice at all.

We humans just want someone to listen to us, to be there, to be supportive, to be heard.

You could solve another person’s problem with all that you’ve learned and it is not as important in the moment as listening to them.

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The Guardian published a “lifeometer” designed to illustrate how much time we spend on our phones takes up so much of our life.

One hour a day equals 15 days a year.

Two hours a day 30 days.

Three — 45 days

Seven hours is as much as 106 days on the phone instead of in the present.

With today’s solar eclipse that has inspired so many people to look upward and observe a celestial event that will not recur until August 23, 2044, more of this and less of that.

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How many hours a day, week or month do you engage in physical walking or exercise of one kind or another?

Do you spend an equal or great amount of time on your mental health by de-stressing, doing yoga or some other form of self-awareness?

Many people exercise or try to, often we fail to commit to routines that aid in reducing anxiety, stress and unhappy situations.

Taking care of mental health is an act of self-love.

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The inability or unwillingness to say no is what feeds the anxiety caused by overcommitting.

Sometimes, employers force the question and other times friends and family take advantage of your good nature to pile on another commitment.

Saying no is not rude – it can be said in many different friendly ways and most people will respect you for being honest.

Saying no is often saying yes to your good mental health – you get to decide.

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