I’m looking out of my office building onto a golf course.

I see all kinds of people drive by, walk by or push carts holding their clubs.

Without regard to age, at least one and sometimes all four check their phones before or after teeing off (depending on who tees off first).

When they arrive at their ball, at least one – no matter of age – pulls the phone out and checks it.

How could anything be so important that so many people routinely and I’m sure without thinking check their phones all during golf.  And of course, golf isn’t the only activity that exhibits this response to the fear of not missing out on something.

Golfers refer to the game they love (and hate after some shots) to a “good walk spoiled”.

This may be so but increasingly golf and many other of our stress relieving activities are “a good life interrupted”.

A phone is not your boss.

You are.

Reign it in or miss out on what life is all about.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Friendships are not casual things.

Not Facebook friends or Instagram likes.  Not the neighbor across the street just because you look at each other.

Friendships are earned by caring, staying in touch, valuing each other and these friendships have no geographical limits.

Most friendships disintegrate because they do not have these qualities in the first place and without them friendships cannot withstand the test of time.

The best way to heal a broken friendship is to heal yourself first.

Friends become best friends when their relationship is more about the other person than you.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Nothing makes people feel good like a word of encouragement.

Young people especially need this but so do adults.

Society is short on words of encouragement.

Here’s one that never fails.

“Have a day of accomplishments”.

Powerful because it reminds others of their potential and keeps them focused on doing positive things.

Accomplishments don’t have to be taking over a $4 billion company. Setting sights on small things that matter makes all the difference.

And after wishing “a day of accomplishments”, there are lots of positive conversations to follow up on in the evening.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

Work as hard at being happy as you do being healthy. 

52% of the population under 40 says anxiety is killing them.

But we go to the gym, take a walk, run, exercise to build our bodies while we often neglect our minds.

Most of us do not dedicate the same time we put aside for healthy activities to spend on personal happiness.  If we did it would be transformative.

The goal of working out is often cardio.

The goal of training happiness is to find ways to be grateful for what we have and who we have.

That includes ourselves.

When was the last time you said, “I am grateful for being me” and count your blessings?  Grateful for others?  Grateful for the life you are having?

Spend the same amount of time on gratitude as you do health and you will gain two benefits.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

• Reach out and start a conversation with someone new
• Give your most precious gift of time to someone else
• Turn off your phone and be a parent, friend or employer 100% in the now
• Ban the word can’t and don’t for an entire morning
• Be a friend — listen and resist the temptation to match their woes with yours

Life is more than just being places and doing things.

Make a difference by being first to reach out and touch people.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Plan a great ending.

We remember endings.

You’ll remember the event more while it happens and after it happens if you plan a great ending.

Having a bad day?

Plan a great ending.

Usually a down day goes from bad to worse but we have the power to finish big and we’re likely to remember the ending not a day that isn’t going your way.

At the end of work make a list of accomplishments

Think of things for which you are grateful 

And people you are grateful to have in your life 

It’s wrong to think that we have to succumb to negativity when we have the power to end on a positive note.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Every activity that doesn’t involve a screen makes us happier.

That’s the research of a survey of 8^th, 10^th and 12^th graders that has been conducted continuously since 1991.

Even homework (yes, I did a double take, too) makes them happier than staring at a screen or getting lost in the black hole of social media.

Playing sports, exercising, reading – all rate higher on the teen’s happiness scale than being involved with a digital device.

Computer games, social media, texting, video chat, watching TV – all get worse marks on the teen’s happiness scale.

People who gave up Facebook for a week were happier, less lonely and less depressed.

How to live with our digital devices is a big deal.

Parents push them on kids who have not developed their social skills.

Adults find themselves withdrawing into their digital screens.

No pills, no headshrinkers, no counseling necessary.

Adult or child – come back to life in the present even with its ups and downs.  Research shows you’ll be happier.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

It’s from Angela Ahrendts the high-powered Apple executive who earlier in her career was told by a random human resources manager that she needed to make changes if she ever wanted to be CEO material.

So Ahrendts went off to meet with a career coach for several days but lasted only a few hours.

Here’s how Ahrendts tells it:

“By lunchtime the first day, I just looked at them and I said, ‘I gotta go. I don’t want to be somebody that I’m not. I like me, and I’ve been pretty successful so far being me and I was raised in a really big family. And, you know, my mom liked me, my friends liked me … I don’t care about a title or a position. You know I have to wake up with me every morning, and I want to be the best version of myself. I don’t want to be this person you’re trying to make me, so I’m really sorry but I have to go.’ So, I left, and literally a month later got the call to become the CEO of Burberry.”

Authentic people are addictive.

People like to work with them and follow their lead.

But to earn your cred, you must genuinely like and accept yourself the way you are to maximize your potential.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

True happiness is when you can appreciate things that you didn’t ask for.

It’s why you will never see a truly happy control freak.

When we get what we want it isn’t long before we don’t want it anymore.

Then we want something else.

Not that some goals and desires aren’t good – just that they aren’t the answer to true happiness that comes from being grateful for that which you have not that which you want.

Be accepting of all the good things that come into your life without having to ask for them.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Find something nice to tell someone.

We often know many nice things that we never share.

Focus on one.

“It was so nice of you to do that charity walk”

“You didn’t have to do that (thing), it was so nice of you”

“Thanks for spending a few minutes to chat with me.  I know you are busy”

Without sincerity, it would just be manipulation, but when you simply share something nice you have observed about others, they will become appreciative of you.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

38%    Keep their phone in handbag or pocket when meeting people

32%   Turn off audio notifications

27%    Keep their phone in bag or pocket when alone

26%    Delete apps that encourage more use

26%    Turn phone off at night

(Source: Deloitte Global Mobile Consumer Survey)

We check our phones 47 or more times a day

80% check our phones within an hour after arising and going to sleep

85% use a Smartphone even as they talk to family

47% have tried to limit phone usage in the past and 30% have claimed to be successful

All these statistics are fun but the moment we decide to reenter the real world and put phones in their proper place is the time when stress will be reduced and we discover the real meaning of the term smartphones.

The phone isn’t the only thing that has to be smart.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

28-32 for getting married.

Before 32 for having children.

18-19 for processing information.

This from a research study at UIC School of Public Health in Chicago.

The best age is when you realize that life is short and you’re running out of time.

Sometimes it takes the death of a loved one to realize it.

Worries and stress start to decline at age 50 and later years are often most rewarding if good health holds up beyond that.

The perfect age is now.

We cannot relive the past.

Cannot guarantee the future.

The best age is when we arrive at the realization that we need to live in the present and be grateful for it.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Jerry Del Colliano is the author of Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Each day is more precious than the previous day.

To live in the past is to squander the valuable time that remains.

To spend it in the future dreaming of what could be is not assured.

We can learn from the past, relive special moments and rekindle memories of loved ones and looking to the future can help us plan for what might be.

But we must only visit not dwell on the past and future.

The only thing that is guaranteed is living in the present 100% focused on what we are fortunate to have.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

The bible of conflict resolution was written by Morton Deutsch who died last year at the age of 97.

“…coercion, intimidation, deception, distrust and hostility are both causes and effects of competition, whereas assistance, openness, information, sharing, perceived similarity, and friendliness are both causes and effects of cooperation”

That one paragraph summarizes 25 years of research on cooperation and conflict.

To be an expert at conflict resolution whether it be at work or at home, these are what you should be shooting for:

Openness

Information

Sharing

Perceived similarity

Friendliness

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The opposite of working together as teams in lock step is disagreement.

There can be no innovation when we are agreeing with everybody and everyone is agreeing with us.

But there are a few rules:

• Argue as if you’re in a debate instead of a WWE wrestling tournament.
• Sincerely try to see things from the others person’s point of view whether you agree with it or not.
• Respectfully, repeat the main points of the other person’s point of view.  That shows a willingness to listen and may inspire them to do the same with your ideas.
• If you have areas of agreement, state them.  Where you disagree, simply state that as well.

The purpose of expressing different points of view is not to master the other person and get them to think like you (or vice versa).

It is to expose all ideas to the light of day from which the creative process begins.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

It’s one thing when others stand in our way.

It’s something quite different when we are the ones standing in our own way.

Excuses are useless.

No one believes them anyway.

It’s never right to sell yourself short or bet against your chances to succeed.

Self-doubt is self-sabotage.

Finding excuses for not taking chances is an easy way to never begin.

People who are not afraid to fail never make excuses.  They’re busy figuring out how to try again.

Others may doubt you, but you must never doubt yourself.

To do so is to prevent success and guarantee unhappiness.

The best way to ban excuses from your life is to make a commitment to an even higher standard than anyone expects of you.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Think of it this way.

The more we obsess about the past, what’s happened and can’t be changed or undone, the more of our finite future is wasted.

Talk to a newly separated person and you’re likely to hear them double down on everything bad that is happening.

Some of this is normal, but to continue to waste life in the past is to rob you of your dreams and ambitions. To prevent you from meeting new people and starting new and interesting careers.

Moving on to all the potentially good things the future holds is not a warm and fuzzy feeling at first.

It’s a commitment to stop wasting time on that which cannot be changed.

Learn.

Mourn.

Get it out of your system.

But leave it all where it belongs – in the past where it can no longer hurt your chances of future happiness and fulfillment.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Somewhere along the way no turned out to be a dirty word.

But it isn’t. In fact, no is a gift to yourself to stay focused on the life you really want to live.

No more being resentful, overwhelmed or feeling used.

• Never say yes right away – Even if that is your inclination. Bide your time. Think it over. Say you will get back to them even if you’re pressured for an immediate response because being pressured is the way others get us to say yes when we really mean no.
  
• Ask lots of questions – How much time will it take? Why did you choose me? 
• What’s the compelling reason to do it? – Absent a compelling reason that resonates for both parties (not just the other person), you have no reason to acquiesce. 
• After thinking, stick to your decision – Put it in a sentence and keep repeating it every time you’re pressured to reconsider. Example: “After sleeping on it, I realize at this point in my life I cannot commit to that right now”. And if you’re asked 5 times to reconsider, repeat the same simple line 5 more times.
  

You will make more enemies by agreeing to something that your heart’s not in than if you say simply and honestly – sorry, I cannot do it.

It may take practice because so many of us are pleasers or we are afraid to say no, but once you start using the questions above to work through your hidden feelings, no will be an honest answer not a rejection.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

We’re hearing a lot of public apologies lately.  It seems most people are ready to apologize when they’ve been caught doing something wrong.

For the rest of us, apologizing for mistakes can not only save relationships but empower you. 

• Never say IF I offended you, I apologize – It’s not IF, it’s either I did or I didn’t.  Using the word “if” can sound like a cop out on the receiving end. 
• Fix the problem before making the apology – So if you had to cancel an engagement at the last minute wasting the other person’s time, reschedule first and then sincerely apologize for the offense.
• No empty apologies – These are the ones that are made before anything is done to fix or improve the thing that you might have done to offend.

The only reason to withhold an apology is ego.

Apologizing for an indiscretion after you’ve begun taking steps to repair the damage means you are human and sorry enough to start fixing the problem before you just say the words.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

You can’t do every task or project equally which is why we choose the small tasks when we’re in the accomplishing mood.

The secret is to break big tasks and projects into smaller ones — as many as necessary with the goal of completing the entire thing.

You can reserve a meeting room for a team meeting easily enough and check it off the list but planning an entire conference requires many smaller tasks.

Achievers know just working on big tasks will not lead to completing them adequately.  They divide the tasks into smaller tasks and then check them off.

The key to productivity is to do only that which brings you 80% of your goal and not try to do everything.

Multitasking is a waste of time.

When a task is large, divide it up into sub-tasks and attack them one by one.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Learn more about my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.