Why do we have trouble naming all the things that are good about us and no trouble reeling off a list of our faults?

Conditioning? Upbringing? Loss of confidence?

Every time we can we insult ourselves, we need no enemies.

Don’t say can’t. Or won’t. Don’t accept criticism from anyone (help, yes and that is very different).

To believe negative thoughts is to give them a louder voice.

Focusing on the negative guarantees more of the same.

Accentuate the positive (I can, I will, I’ll learn, I won’t quit, my best is yet to come) and suddenly all things are possible.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Subscribe to DayStarters

When a major athlete gets a big contract, it doesn’t mean that they will do their best work.

A recent comparison chart in sports pages of The New York Times confirmed that guaranteed money doesn’t buy guaranteed performance.

And tenured college professors are arguably not better than ones who have to earn their place from contract to contract.

Seeking certainty is not as effective as pursuing excellence.

Uncertainty is your friend.

While no one is making a case for insecurity, guaranteed outcomes seem never to be guaranteed.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Subscribe to DayStarters

Most people know exactly what they want.

They don’t always listen to it or accept it.

They don’t need an elaborate master plan – they already know.

The problem is a lack of action and too much overthinking.

More emphasis on pushing the start button.

That’s why we call doers doers. They know that action is as important as planning because without it nothing ever changes.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

The pursuit of money will not get you money and if, along the way, the pursuer believes it does, that feeling is fleeting.

So, what are we supposed to do, not try to earn more, make more, accumulate more?

It’s been proven again and again – study any successful person and confirm – that pursuing excellence is a faster and more rewarding path to riches.

Accomplishments, happiness then remuneration.

The world is full of people looking in the wrong place for their futures.

Find something you are really passionate about doing pursuing excellence.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

We now spend more than four hours a day on our phones on the average.

That’s two fewer hours than the six hours we sleep.

And when all types of screens are added in, we spend most of our day on digital devices instead of living in the present 100% focused on that time.

If that’s acceptable – and it is to many – you don’t have a problem.

If not, it’s time to recognize that the phone is not going to turn itself off, it’s time to take control.

No social media (or at least reduce it because that time is a black hole).

Don’t hold your phone or put it on the table nearby – research shows you will peek at your messages.

Eliminate texting except for specific purposes – the best way to eliminate it is to make a phone call and you’ll probably conclude you don’t need texting.

Check your posture, it’s getting worse as we bend over to use our phones.

Charge your phone well away from where you sleep. If you use it as an alarm clock, buy a $10 clock at CVS.

Phones and children don’t go together. It’s parents hanging on to their phones who teach their children how to ignore them and those around them.

A phone is a tool and not a lifestyle.

If Steve Jobs, the mastermind behind the iPhone, put a strict limit on his childrens’ screen time, the inventor of this wonderous device was telling us something.

You control the phone – not the other way around.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

It’s easy to get caught in the past reliving what went wrong one more time.

But the real question is where do we go from here?

The past is history – history we can learn from but not obsess over.

The future presents all our opportunities but spending too much time on what hasn’t yet happened can leave us fantasizing about what might have been.

But what about today, tomorrow – where are we headed now?

Lost in the past, hurt by mistakes or anxious to get another crack at living the life that only you can live?

Forgive, but don’t forget.

Remember but don’t obsess.

The only thing that matters is what’s next.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

It doesn’t take a course in human relations to know how to get someone to like you.

Recognize them anytime you can.

Give the praise backed by evidence to prove what you’re saying isn’t just meaningless flattery.

Giving credit to others.

Letting them share in your success.

Deflecting praise from you to them sincerely.

Making it about them not you even when you may deserve the attention is how admiration turns into respect.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

On a flight from Minneapolis to Philadelphia recently only one flight attendant working as a team with another was doing all the work.

The other was on her phone texting and scrolling through social media inflight. She was not deadheading. She was supposed to be working.

The flight attendant doing all the work didn’t seem to be bothered, but in the end, even she sat down and pulled out her phone making it two distracted flight attendants on a two-hour flight.

There are digital distractions everywhere.

You can let it irk you or let it serve as a reminder of opportunity.

Being able to focus on the needs of others at work, at home and in relationships where others are increasingly distracted means advantage to you.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

When the other person said “does that make sense” without waiting for my response, that’s when I was finally convinced.

The world is filled with people who talk and very few who actually listen.

Therefore, developing good listening skills when everyone else is talking gives you the advantage.

Few are born with these skills, but they can be easily acquired with a little determination.

Ask questions, don’t start playing can you top this?

Learn to repeat what others are saying (“so if I am hearing you right, you’re saying…”).

When you speak, the first thing that comes out of your mouth should be compassion (example: “that must have been scary”, etc.).

Offer no advice because people don’t want advice. They want to be heard and they want compassion.

This makes you a special and powerful person in a world of people screaming for attention.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

May and June are typically graduation months.

Students move on, move out and hopefully move up to which they aspire.

What a great time for the rest of us (non-students) to think about our graduation.

Getting stuck in a job even if it is to keep a roof over your head is standing still, not moving on to better things.

Graduating students are optimistic, exuberant and yes, fearful about their futures but the educational system forces them to move on and move into the next phase of their life.

Getting stuck in a job you don’t like will not get better until you graduate to something else.

Study the possibilities.

Do the homework – what new skill sets will you need.

Set a deadline.

The great majority of people who are tired of their jobs or fearful of losing them would rather wait until fate or the company decides to take action.

The better way is to look for alternative options now and anticipate a future that you have control of before others determine your fate.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.