Controlling Anxiety

99% of what we fear or worry about will never happen.

99%.

The fear is almost always worse than what we’re afraid of.

Getting control of anxiety thoughts out of the gate when we first have them is a way to get ahead of what is likely to turn out to be an unlikely fear.

If someone told you, you have a 1% chance of having your anxieties actually play out you might be a lot less worried from the start.

Focusing on that 1% gets a jump on controlling anxiety.

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The Happiness Myth

That it will descend upon us like a butterfly because we deserve it.

It doesn’t really work that way.

We are responsible for our own happiness.

Happiness is generated from gratitude.

Gratitude for little things.

Even winning the lottery gets old (and the money disappears) but repeated small steps of appreciation accomplish basically the same thing.

The wealthy are psychiatrists’ best customers because money alone cannot buy happiness.

Staring at our phones will not make us happier, but social interaction with others face to face does – it’s a choice.

Here’s a re-set:

There is always someone worse off than how I feel today so I will be grateful. 

We have to be open to happiness or we will focus on what we don’t have instead of what we are grateful for. 

Pick a person every day to appreciate (it can be the same person tomorrow).

Money doesn’t equal happiness – how much of your life, then, is in pursuit of money?

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The Attitude That Makes You Love Work

Barry Trotz is a Stanley Cup winning hockey coach.

Last year he won it directing the Washington Capitals.

This year he took over the New York Islanders and helped lead a young team into the playoffs.

Trotz could honestly say he enjoyed the year — this one even when he didn’t winthe Cup.

“I always tell my kids find something you enjoy and you never work a day in your life”.

People often hate their jobs, dislike their bosses and want better pay – not a prescription for happiness.

It’s never too late to find something you really like to do and get paid for it.

Today’s a good day to begin.

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Dealing with Irritations

I commute to New York City.

Turnpike.  Congested city traffic.  1010 WINS.  Waze. Hidden police radar.

I don’t like traffic delays and irritations so I think of my students who will bring their fresh faces and tons of optimism to class as my reward.

The destination is worth much more than what it takes to get there.

Obsessing over impediments ruins everything.

Seeing the reward in your mind’s eye helps deal with the irritations of getting there.

Anticipating the reward in life makes the journey more bearable.

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Talking Yourself Out of the Fear of Failure

If I look bad or worry about being embarrassed, I will think about how great it will feel to overcome that, too.

I fear the unknown but the unknown can also be my friend. 

I don’t want to let anyone down but I can promise them 100% effort trying.

I’ll feel worse if I let fear thoughts into my head when I am trying to succeed.

It’s temporary.

I have lots of company – everyone fails, but winners deal with it and move on.

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How Warren Buffett Makes Tough Decisions

The 88-year old Buffett calls it the “newspaper test”.

How would you feel about any decision if you knew it was going to be written up in the local newspaper the next day?

Buffett adds it would be “written by a smart but pretty unfriendly reporter” and everyone in your life — family, friends, everyone – would read it.

“If [the decision] passes that test, it’s okay. If anything is too close to the lines, it’s out.”

Buffett credits his father for making him aware of his “inner scorecard”.

But people often live by their “outer scorecard”.

In other words, reputation is everything and the ultimate guide to doing what’s right when making tough decisions.

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Outlasting a Losing Streak

Baltimore Orioles first baseman Chris Davis couldn’t buy a hit for weeks at the start of this year’s baseball season.

He finally ended his 0-for-54 slump at Boston’s Fenway Park to opposition fan applause.

Davis not only singled, but hit two doubles, drove in four runs and got the albatross off his back.

Davis said: “That’s a long time without getting a hit … I don’t know what I’m going to do with it, but obviously something special.”

As bad as it was for Davis who, by the way, is in the fourth season of a seven-year $161 million contract, it’s not the longest hitless streak in baseball (Bob Buhl went 0-for-85 in 1962-63).

“You have to embrace it at some point” – that’s what this two-time major league homerun champion said.

Adversity introduces a person to him or herself and to those around them.

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Winning Advice from Tiger Woods’ Caddy

Intense but loose.

That’s what Joe LaCava told Tiger Woods ahead of his improbable comeback from surgery, an addiction to painkillers, personal adversity and a ten-year championship drought.

“Don’t carry the weight of the world”

Woods wanted to win so badly and return to victory that he was getting in his own way.

When we want something so badly we can taste it, that desire may be so great that it interferes with the path to success.

Intensity can only be sustained so long before it becomes anxiety.

Remaining loose is how we unlock our talent on the way to victory.

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The One Word That Reduces Stress

Saying “I’m stressed” will only make it worse.

But saying “stretched” connotes a temporary condition.

A rubber band is stretched and it always returns to normal.

You are stressed but it is temporary unless you don’t release it.

The more times the word “stressed” is used, the more ominous it feels.

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Why We Believe Fortune Cookies and Not Ourselves

Have you ever seen anyone open a fortune cookie, read it aloud proudly and find a way to make it wishfully apply to them?

Think about what would happen if we would do exactly that with our confidence.

Believe in yourself without question and apply that belief to your goal, dream or problem.

We believe a fortune cookie more than we believe in ourselves.

To change it, assume a happy ending, a great outcome and never stop believing in your ability to make it happen.

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