When the World Seems to be Against You

Celebrate!!

A big victory is coming your way.

In doing research for my book several years ago, I was surprised and encouraged to find people who had to not only overcome the odds to become the successes they were BUT also the doubts that came from those around them.

The difference was rather than being discouraged by the discouragement of others – even people very close to them – they made it a rally cry picturing how sweet it would be to be able to “show them”.

Except when they achieved eventual success, they had little interest in showing anyone their anger.

They learned that when the world seems to be against you, start a line – a line that forms behind you – to not be deterred from staying true to your dreams, ambitions and goals.

Belief in self is 90% of success.

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  • Jerry I recently renewed my subscription . I can’t thank you enough for your input and perspective.Keep it up,My Best Tim

The Secret to Apologizing

Some people just can’t bring themselves to admit they are wrong and it’s too bad because being so wrong can also be so right.

Apologize quickly and with enthusiasm.

Mean it.  Do not use the word “but” in your apology  And do not make it about you.  It’s about the person who was wronged.

Since no one is perfect we should apologize many times a day and feel good about it.

Apologizing is what the bigger person does.

Living life harboring a wrongdoing is the burden that prevents us from being who we want to be.

Today, search for apologies big and small you can make.

Everyone wins.

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Anxiety Relief With These 8 Words

How much stress is this worth to me?

Just asking this question when fear, worry, stress and anxiety begin to creep in helps individuals become instantly aware that they will be paying a price with their physical and psychological health if they don’t put an immediate limit on anxiety.

Pressure and stress go unchecked because they are exponential.

Asking the question puts a stop/loss on worry.

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You Get What You Expect

The prolific author and motivator Wayne Dyer did a bit on one of his PBS specials about the flu.

People expect the flu.

They can tell you when they usually get it.  What happens to them every year when they do and how long it lasts with a bunch of painful memories sprinkled in.

I have a friend who when she feels something coming on says out loud, “Joanne doesn’t get sick”.

The people Dyer referred to came down with the flu as expected almost as if they deserved it, he would add.

I don’t remember a day Joanne suffered from the flu, virus or even the common cold.

But there is something to the power of expectation.

If you expect good things, you tend to get them and if you expect bad, it shows up right on time.

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Creating a Better You

This is not possible without first embracing the fine person you already are.

Flawed, yes – aren’t we all — but a work in progress nonetheless.

“Better” can’t happen to a person you don’t like and accept.

No self-improvement sticks to anyone who doesn’t first appreciate the fine person they already are.

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The 90-Day Rule

Look back 90 days to reassess that you, indeed, know what you are doing and are able to focus on successes and not constantly ward off the fear of failing.

I call this Lori’s Law after my friend Lori Lewis who understands the battle for our own minds is won by documenting in writing all that we have achieved.

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Positive Thinking

We become like the people who surround us.

If we were raised in a can-do, uplifting family, that positivity becomes our DNA.

Around negative people, friends with unending problems, co-workers obsessed with how they hate their jobs and their lives – that, too becomes contagious.

Just as people can make others laugh, they can also make them see the dark side.

Some workarounds:

Those who learn to identify the negativity have a chance to counteract it

Deflect it and move on 

Avoid fights, arguments or critical words to “downers”, it just paves the way for more negativity. 

You always have a choice to see the upside or the downside. 

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Bogged Down and Lost

Being in the wrong job can cause it.

Or the wrong relationship.

The loss of a loved one, a friend, your health or your job.

What is it about people who can overcome getting stuck in a rut?

They still have hope without which severe depression sets in. 

They have a plan – or ten plans if that’s what it takes – to pick themselves up and find their way back.

They have courage to admit a mistake, a series of mistakes, relationships that are toxic or other things that contribute to being bogged down in unhappiness. 

They know that it’s not “if” but “when” they will figure things out because “if” is only a possibility but “when” is an actual time of arrival.   

No one can be bogged down and lost if they believe that whatever is wrong is temporary. 

Today, remind yourself that your greatest problem is only temporary, that you will survive it and be back on top again.

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Betting on You

Can you imagine a boxer betting on his or her opponent instead of themselves?

Well, maybe yes – that’s called a fixed fight.

And that’s what people do to themselves – bet on failure instead of success.

Betting on you starts in the mind – I can, I will, I have done, I will do.

Absent are words like can’t, won’t, maybe, not sure, no way.

Place your bets.

On you.

It doesn’t cost anything.

It’s a sure thing.

And don’t waste time trying to get someone else to bet on you.  It’s nice, but it’s not as effective as when you believe you will succeed.

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More Confidence, More Often

When things go our way it’s easy to exude confidence.

When they don’t, we tend to overthink, overreact, focus on what we think is wrong – in other words, we rehearse failure thoughts.

  • Focus on what’s right even when something goes wrong. The first time I was on television I hosted a local Wednesday Night Movie on camera.  When the show ended, I went off TelePrompTer and said “Tune in next Tuesday for the Wednesday Night Movie.”  I was convinced that ad-libbed screwup was the end of my TV career early on but it was only the beginning because I left out the part that I really did well.
  • Confidence comes before actions–If you believe something good will happen, it is more likely to happen. If you don’t, you often have to take what you will get.
  • Believe in you – If you won’t, who should?
  • Keep IOUs handy – (this is my favorite) Every time you have a success of any kind, type it into your smartphone notes and carry it around with you. At least once a day scroll through and remind yourself of how awesome you are instead of waiting around for something to sap your confidence.

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