Why do we tend to think of leaders as being cheerleaders – loud, strong-willed, imposing figures?

The awesome quality of a real leader is the exact opposite.

Instill calm and build confidence in those around them.

Proud not loud.

Reassuring not rescuing.

Whenever a team works, a real leader is building confidence and keeping everyone focused.

Where a family works, the parents are constantly reassuring children of their ability to deal with life’s ups and downs and not protecting them from it.

A leader is one who succeeds by believing not cheerleading.

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You can’t expect to outsource self-confidence by looking for it elsewhere.

It starts from within.

Most of us spend a lifetime learning how to doubt ourselves and when we look to others for the confidence we don’t have, it doesn’t work.

Believe in you.

Never look to others for that which you don’t have.

Erase a lifetime of doubt by retraining your brain to believe in you. 

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A big ego is a substitute for confidence.

Confident people have no need to brag or enhance their perceived abilities.

Working with these people can be a challenge.

It can make a job you love miserable.

Never feed a big ego even to gain acceptance at work – it encourages more of the same behavior you don’t like. 

Avoid fighting a big ego – it will only make them push harder to prevail.

The only way around a troubling big ego is to ignore it – let the words go through your ears without reacting one way or the other.

There is no cure for an egotistical person.

But there is a remedy for those who have to suffer fools like this.

Don’t let them push your buttons.

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80% of those who set a goal fail to finish it.

No doubt they had good intentions.

But what’s different with the 20% who finish their goal?

They have a plan.

They adjust the plan on an ongoing basis to make it better. 

They see the final prize vividly in their mind’s eye in a way that is so compelling that they can taste it (i.e., money is a weak goal, what money buys that you desire is stronger). 

A goal is a dream that will never come true without a plan for success.

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There is only so much pressure we can handle in a world that is connected by a digital device in our hand or on our person.

There is our anxiety and then there is the anxiety caused by those around us.

Anxiety is like the flu – except we recover from the flu.

The more anxiety we are exposed to, the more we get worn down.

Think about it – when do we ever wake up and say “I feel so relaxed and stress free” even as those around us give us more of their anxiety.

Filter out the anxiety caused by others – say, no more, I can only handle the stress I am dealing with.

Put fear in its place – the number one cause of anxiety is fear of something happening or not happening.  Put a stop loss on fear because in reality 99% of what we fear never actually happens.

Stress-free living begins when you say no to the anxiety that those around you generate.

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And when you feel afraid, love one another
When you’ve lost your way, love one another
When you’re all alone, love one another
When you’re far from home, love one another
When you’re down and out, love one another
All your hope’s run out, love one another
When you need a friend, love one another
When you’re near the end, love
We got to love, we got to love one another

Light of the world, shine on me
Love is the answer
Shine on us all, set us free

Songwriters: John Wilcox / Kasim Sulton / Roger Powell / Todd Rundgren
Love Is The Answer lyrics © Warner/Chappell Music, Inc

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We’re all living too fast – slow it down.

Taking on too many burdens – own up to your limitations.

Trying too hard to please others.

Looking past the person you see in the mirror every day, that beautiful, special human being.

Letting our digital devices steal our life instead of be the wonderful tool that we absolutely can control.

Do less of all of this.

Then love yourself and one another.

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Why do we get stuck on going nowhere?

Not advancing our careers, shaking up our relationships and tolerating things we know in our hearts will not make us happy.

It’s the fear of losing something that we’ve become accustomed to even if we’re losing something that is not making us happier or richer.

Fear of losing what is hurting us – sounds insane, except we know it’s true.

Getting unstuck is like a rubber band.

The more we stretch it, the bigger it gets.

If we pop it, just grab another one and start over.

Pushing and pulling ourselves off of what we accept as normal is the first and most effective way to get unstuck.

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Betting on you is the sure thing.

So why don’t we do it more?

Other voices make us question our confidence, vision and ability.

We let negativity drown out our dreams and desires.

Too young to succeed, too old to make it happen.

It is as if we can’t follow our dreams and hold down a job at the same time.

Betting against people is a fool’s bet.

Think of your contemporaries in high school and college who never impressed you until they went on to do something impressive.  And the ones who were “most likely to” often fizzled.

Doubt is always overcome by desire.

Never let anyone question your desire.

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I don’t want to be respected by people I don’t respect.

I won’t look up to those who look down on me or others.

Respect starts in the mirror.

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