People who must be in control deprive themselves of the honest appreciation of others.

If they control the love, they risk never freely receiving love.

If they write the script, the ending always turns out the same.

If they control the outcome, they may miss a better solution.

If they obsessively speak for another, they are responsible for not empowering someone else.

The best way to gain control is to give up control.

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No one gets access to your subconscious.

Once said, the brain repeats what it hears.

If the comments are destructive, you are doing the damage by repeating them on a continuous loop.

The subconscious is like a recorder.

No one gets to record a message in your subconscious but you.

Even a compliment doesn’t get a pass (you record the compliments you receive).

The mind can be a powerful asset to happiness and success or it can serve to tear you down if the messages you are hearing and duplicating are damaging.

Taking charge of what gets recorded in the subconscious and not what other people say makes all the difference.

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Exceed expectations – yours and those of others. 

Have the heart of a servant – please others until it hurts. 

Outwork everyone else.

Turn your dreams into well thought out game plans.

On the way to getting what you want help those who help you get what they want.

Become skilled at human relations, the special skills that makes people gravitate to you and want to work with you. 

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Before getting out of bed as you awake think of 5 people for whom you are grateful that they are in your life (it can be the same 5 people every day or you could add new ones).

Think of 5 situations that you are fortunate to be in right now (your job, your marriage, your avocation). 

This will eventually take only a minute or two.

Replace looking at your phone and finding out what irritates you or what problems you must face before even setting your feet on the floor.

Nothing more elaborate works any better than starting the day with gratitude for those you love and appreciate and all that you are fortunate to have.

Things go wrong when we start with problems, irritations, added-stress, worries and other negatives even before we’re fully awake.

Doing this awakening routine every day and you will train your brain to give you the positive start that makes it easier to handle whatever problems you must endure later.

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We know our faults – chances are they’ve been mentioned to us many, many times.

Concentrating on what’s wrong will never change anything.

Seeing in your mind’s eye how you want to fix a fault – now that’s powerful.

If you believe you’re lazy, you are lazy.

If you believe you don’t care, you probably don’t.

If you believe that you’re the reason everything at work went wrong, there’s no doubt you will be guilty as accused.

See the way you want to be and not the way you are denigrated.

As Shakespeare said:

Assume a virtue if you have it not.

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Everything in our lives has a restart button.

Our phones, our computers, video games, televisions.  We even use the word restart as if we can make something go away and get better fast.

No one has only good days.

Happy people restart their bad days.

No obsessing over what irritates you.

Deemphasizing you and focusing on others.

Injecting an emergency dose of gratitude right in the middle of your meltdown (“Thank God for my family”, “I’m blessed with good health”, etc.). 

Say “I’m going to hit restart right now”.

There is no need to waste another precious day because something went wrong from the outset.

Hit restart.

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Olympians only know can and will.

The Philadelphia Eagles lost their star quarterback and had every reason to believe that they would still not win their first Super Bowl in February.

Can’t became can defeating one of the greatest football franchises in NFL history, the New England Patriots no less.

Can is not a word – it’s a promise – and that’s the difference.

Not yes, I’m capable of overcoming the odds.

It’s yes, I promise myself to do everything I humanly can to achieve my goals.

Can’t becomes can.

Won’t turns into will.

An excuse morphs into a challenge.

What’s keeping you from your dreams is not the world, the job, someone you don’t like, a misfortune or a handicap.

The only person who needs to hear the words “I can” is you.

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There is no such thing as multitasking.

It plays games with our attention and makes us tired.

All we can do well is one thing at a time.

We think we accomplish more but that mirage saps us of our attention.

Our phones make us busier avoiding interaction and making us more anxious.

Then we fear not being busy.

Even rest becomes a waste of time.

Resting the mind, the body and our penchant for creating self-induced anxiety is the alternative to being addicted to busy.

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When I taught the Dale Carnegie Course, instructors used to teach that the benefit often follows the action.

Act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic 

Not think yourself into enthusiasm – do something enthusiastic first. 

The action comes before the result.

The same is true with happiness.

Sitting around waiting for happiness to approach us can sometimes be a long wait.

Bring some kind of joy to others 

And joy will come to you.

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Shaming is used to control.

It hurts as much as a physical punch.

Shaming stops when we think enough of ourselves to either push back, end the conversation or avoid the shamer in the future.

You don’t get to say that.

This conversation is over. 

Don’t speak that way if you want my friendship.

Own your story and embrace your vulnerabilities.

When shame attacks, be brave and reach out to others.

Shame disables the part of us that believes we are capable of change.

Shame is the powerful fear that we are not good enough and it is cured by giving yourself the love you deserve.

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