Author Daniel Pink (When) says there are 86 days in the year when you can make a fresh start.

The first day of the month (twelve)

Mondays (fifty-two)

The first day of spring, summer, fall, and winter (four)

Your country’s Independence Day or the equivalent (one)

The day of an important religious holiday—for example, Easter, Rosh Hashanah, Eid al-Fitr (one)

Your birthday (one)

A loved one’s birthday (one)

The first day of school or the first day of a semester (two)

The first day of a new job (one)

The day after graduation (one)

The first day and back from vacation (two)

The anniversary of your wedding, first date, or divorce (three)

The anniversary of the day you started your job, the day you became a citizen, the day you adopted your dog or cat, the day you graduated from school or university (four)

The day you finish his book (one).

When things are going poorly, you can always start over.

A fresh start completely changes the dynamic of a bad day.

Too often we waste time trying to salvage what really can’t or shouldn’t be saved.

Start over anytime – that’s the winning formula.

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He was drafted as a franchise quarterback a few years back.

He had one really good season.

Then he was traded – eventually became a backup.

Considered retiring even though he was only in his 20’s until he got one more chance as a backup on the Philadelphia Eagles.

Nick Foles won the Super Bowl and became the game’s MVP beating an elite Patriot’s quarterback, Tom Brady.

“The big thing is don’t be afraid to fail … In our society, with (social media) it’s a highlight reel. I think when you have a rough day, you’re feeling you can’t – failure is a part of your life. I wouldn’t be up here if I hadn’t failed a million times”.

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It’s funny how we see self-absorption in others but never see it in ourselves.

When a person talks incessantly about themselves, that’s self-absorption.

I have a “friend” who has never asked me about my family – not my mother nor my children.  My wife’s mother died at an early age and there are people she knows who don’t know this.

The word I is an indication of self-absorption.

Always having to match someone else’s story with one of yours is not only self-centered but it can be hurtful when the topic is sickness, death or loss.

Bette Midler in the movie Beaches famously said “But enough about me. Let’s talk about you. What do you think of me?”

Dale Carnegie, the master of human relations, still has it right all these decades later.

Talk in terms of the other person’s interests and you will cure 50% of our self-absorbed society.

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I’m looking out of my office building onto a golf course.

I see all kinds of people drive by, walk by or push carts holding their clubs.

Without regard to age, at least one and sometimes all four check their phones before or after teeing off (depending on who tees off first).

When they arrive at their ball, at least one – no matter of age – pulls the phone out and checks it.

How could anything be so important that so many people routinely and I’m sure without thinking check their phones all during golf.  And of course, golf isn’t the only activity that exhibits this response to the fear of not missing out on something.

Golfers refer to the game they love (and hate after some shots) to a “good walk spoiled”.

This may be so but increasingly golf and many other of our stress relieving activities are “a good life interrupted”.

A phone is not your boss.

You are.

Reign it in or miss out on what life is all about.

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Friendships are not casual things.

Not Facebook friends or Instagram likes.  Not the neighbor across the street just because you look at each other.

Friendships are earned by caring, staying in touch, valuing each other and these friendships have no geographical limits.

Most friendships disintegrate because they do not have these qualities in the first place and without them friendships cannot withstand the test of time.

The best way to heal a broken friendship is to heal yourself first.

Friends become best friends when their relationship is more about the other person than you.

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Nothing makes people feel good like a word of encouragement.

Young people especially need this but so do adults.

Society is short on words of encouragement.

Here’s one that never fails.

“Have a day of accomplishments”.

Powerful because it reminds others of their potential and keeps them focused on doing positive things.

Accomplishments don’t have to be taking over a $4 billion company. Setting sights on small things that matter makes all the difference.

And after wishing “a day of accomplishments”, there are lots of positive conversations to follow up on in the evening.

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Work as hard at being happy as you do being healthy. 

52% of the population under 40 says anxiety is killing them.

But we go to the gym, take a walk, run, exercise to build our bodies while we often neglect our minds.

Most of us do not dedicate the same time we put aside for healthy activities to spend on personal happiness.  If we did it would be transformative.

The goal of working out is often cardio.

The goal of training happiness is to find ways to be grateful for what we have and who we have.

That includes ourselves.

When was the last time you said, “I am grateful for being me” and count your blessings?  Grateful for others?  Grateful for the life you are having?

Spend the same amount of time on gratitude as you do health and you will gain two benefits.

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• Reach out and start a conversation with someone new
• Give your most precious gift of time to someone else
• Turn off your phone and be a parent, friend or employer 100% in the now
• Ban the word can’t and don’t for an entire morning
• Be a friend — listen and resist the temptation to match their woes with yours

Life is more than just being places and doing things.

Make a difference by being first to reach out and touch people.

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Plan a great ending.

We remember endings.

You’ll remember the event more while it happens and after it happens if you plan a great ending.

Having a bad day?

Plan a great ending.

Usually a down day goes from bad to worse but we have the power to finish big and we’re likely to remember the ending not a day that isn’t going your way.

At the end of work make a list of accomplishments

Think of things for which you are grateful 

And people you are grateful to have in your life 

It’s wrong to think that we have to succumb to negativity when we have the power to end on a positive note.

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Every activity that doesn’t involve a screen makes us happier.

That’s the research of a survey of 8^th, 10^th and 12^th graders that has been conducted continuously since 1991.

Even homework (yes, I did a double take, too) makes them happier than staring at a screen or getting lost in the black hole of social media.

Playing sports, exercising, reading – all rate higher on the teen’s happiness scale than being involved with a digital device.

Computer games, social media, texting, video chat, watching TV – all get worse marks on the teen’s happiness scale.

People who gave up Facebook for a week were happier, less lonely and less depressed.

How to live with our digital devices is a big deal.

Parents push them on kids who have not developed their social skills.

Adults find themselves withdrawing into their digital screens.

No pills, no headshrinkers, no counseling necessary.

Adult or child – come back to life in the present even with its ups and downs.  Research shows you’ll be happier.

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