Achievers don’t care if they fail.  In fact, they expect more failing than succeeding.

If you go fishing and expect every hook with bait to net you a catch, you’d soon give up fishing.

Self-doubt is created by harboring exceedingly high expectations for ourselves that have little chance of being met.

Jeff Bezos didn’t build Amazon into the amazon that it is by expecting everything he did to succeed.

Google has failed many more times than it succeeded, but when it succeeded, it was big.

Here’s what to build confidence on.

Bet on your ability to keep trying and never quit.  To not expect results every time you do something.

Replace self-doubt with self-assurance that comes from knowing that if it’s worth having, it’s worth pursuing until you get it.

Never doubt yourself ever again.  Why bet against you?

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If you keep bailing people out and fixing their problems, don’t be surprised if they keep coming back to you again and again for more.

When you’re hit up for a loan, don’t be surprised if the recipient after first greeting your generosity with elation winds up resenting you.

More valuable than money is helping someone fix their problems or finding a way to handle the shortfall in revenue that they find themselves in.

It is no gift to make loans or to live another person’s life.

The real gift we have to give is also the one that we give ourselves.

Time.

Help.

Being a good listener and a constant source of encouragement.

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99% of what I am worried about will never happen. 

The 1% that does, will never happen as I fear it.

Imagine the worst thing that can happen, accept it and make it better. 

Get the facts and weigh the facts. 

Be aware of the damage you are doing worrying about what is most likely not going to happen. 

Live in the present not the past. 

The future is not guaranteed so don’t worry about it.

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As a Dale Carnegie instructor, I would ask my students to take a 3×5 card and write down their three biggest most burdensome problems that are affecting their lives at that moment.

They were asked not to put their names on the card.

The cards were collected, shuffled and then re-distributed anonymously to the other students.

Once each person saw their card with someone else’s problems, they all asked for their own cards back.  Never was this not true – not even one time.

Even people who wrote down “I have cancer”, “my wife left me”, “I am unemployed and in debt” wanted their original troubles back compared to those of others.

This gives us clues to the answer on acceptance of life’s burdens.

Everyone has problems and comparing them to what they could be helps us to accept and act on the ones we already have.

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How to be playful.

Carefree.

Laughing.

Uninhibited.

Even parents who are around children all day are not able to act a like child.

After all, they are parents.  They teach.  They bark orders.  They accept the awesome responsibility of parenting.

And they are employees at work.  Accept burdens and duties in return for a salary.

Sons and daughters, husbands, wives and partners in their relationships and all the responsibility that brings.

Still, the ability to be happy, playful, and carefree is the transforming gift children can teach us.

In an era of great anxiety, maybe our little ones have the best answer.

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There is an outbreak of rudeness.

But for every rude person, there is a kind one so nearby you may not realize it.

And, if there isn’t, there’s always you.

My wife was dropping a package off at the UPS office recently when the gal in front of her stepped up to collect a package.  When the clerk asked her for some kind of identification, the customer started with a barrage of cursing and insults that we can’t print here because she would have to go to her car to get her ID.

It is what the clerk said that was the perfect reaction.

As the customer stormed out of the store, the clerk said to the other waiting customers in shock “you never know what kind of a day she had”.  There were no counter-insults or negative responses.

Every time a person or situation hands us an act of rudeness, we have a chance to counter it with compassion and positivity.

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You can change your life by embracing positivity.

You gain control by giving up control

It’s not “I” or “me”, it’s us

You are not your phone

“I will” replaces “I can’t” and “I won’t”

99% of our fears and worries never come true

Different is great

No plan?  No chance

Bad breaks are eventually followed by good fortune

Learn from the past, plan in the future, live in the present

Be the fine person you are

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Good fortune happens in waves.

Even Taylor Swift can’t make hit records forever but she can have a lot of success ahead in entertainment.

Howard Stern was fired numerous times before he got the break of a lifetime at satellite radio.

Even Richard Nixon, disgraced from Watergate, spent the final years of his life as an elder statesman who wrote numerous books on foreign policy.

No one gets all the good breaks.

Or all the bad breaks.

The secret to rebounding from adversity in our lives is to wait it out no matter how long it takes – and it always feels longer than it is – until you catch the next wave of good fortune with your name on it.

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People in jeans and a t-shirt can be as productive as those in suits.

It’s fascinating how we make a positive decision every day when we wake up whether it’s work dress down day or just jeans as usual.

We take the time to choose our clothes.

But we don’t take the time to choose our goals for the day.

Think about it, did you articulate your one or two goals for this day in clear, precise terms?

What a smart time to focus on accomplishments when you’re making a decision about what to wear also articulate what to do to make your day a success.

This habit is more important than the decision on clothes.

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My son’s school had this advice for parents before their children entered grade one.

Enforce an hour of quiet time every school night.

Music, phones, videos are off limits.

They may do anything else as long as they are alone with their thoughts, dreams and desires.  Later, homework became easier to transition to because they adopted quiet time for themselves first.

We all need a useful time out in our busy lives.

A neighbor of mine was having marital troubles and on the second counseling appointment the couple was told to give each other an hour at the end of the day when they see each other again.

Time to disengage from the day’s pressures – personal time.

No phones, no iPads, no cheating.

They never divorced.

We complain a lot about our connected and frenetic world, but all it takes is an hour of quiet time to become the human we want to be – again.

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