I’ve never shared this publicly but the time seems right now.

In the one year my publishing business lost money back in the 1980’s, I became filled with negative thoughts that seemed to kidnap my optimism and focus – if it continued, it would have ruined everything I worked for.

One day I walked around the Executive Mews complex in Cherry Hill, NJ where I had a small office and saw the empty pad for a new, much-larger building to be constructed.  After sleeping on it, I went to see the landlord, signed a 5-year lease – even added the features I thought I would need when I succeeded.

From then on my mind had no room for failure in any way and by the time we moved in, things were humming again with better times ahead than I could have predicted – and, I had the space for it.

Bet on yourself – it’s a sure thing.

Courage doesn’t grow on trees it has to be cultivated.

Every time you make a difficult decision it’s an act of courage.

The more instinctive these acts are, the more naturally you are becoming.

Courage occurs before you act.

None other than Warren Buffet himself said we get caught up in the circumstances of the current environment we find ourselves in that may spark you to do things you don’t want.

Change your habits before they change you.

Take control of your phone – it works for you — you don’t live for it.

Replace the word adversity with opportunity – when you believe a raw deal is strong enough to lead you to a better deal, you’ve solved the discouragement problem.

And, make time for you and those you love and who love you – the biggest regret of people at the end of life is that they spent too much time working and not enough with loved ones.

Being not appreciated is not your problem unless you buy into someone else’s lack of recognition of what you are about.

Relying on others to validate you is a dangerous path.

A more productive one is to view yourself in two ways – what you are accomplishing, the goals you’re meeting, the things you are doing to succeed and to not confuse criticism with getting better.

There is no positive use of criticism and never has been – it can scare, force compliance but it never makes a person better.

Appreciation starts with you – looking for it elsewhere is to invite trouble.

60-year-old country singer Toby Keith revealed that he has been treated for stomach cancer for the past six months, is taking time out from touring and looks forward to resuming his life.

But first:  “I need time to breathe, recover and relax”.

Often adversity’s gift to us is discovering a way to be nice to ourselves.

If sickness makes us appreciate the importance of taking time for ourselves then it has delivered a precious present that can outlive the disease.

People respond when they hear about advantages not disadvantages.

Sure, they can be scared into altering their behavior, but it never lasts.

Hard nose sports coaches can win through fear but they get fired as often as the so-called “players coach”.

Your children don’t want to hear about the disadvantages of social media or too much screen time, they will respond to the positive benefits if they ease off.

Employees can be asked to do it for “the team” but humans always want to know what’s in it for them and is it something they care about.

Give a person a possible positive advantage and they will respond.

Tell them to give up their phones because they are killing their sleep, losing the ability to concentrate and causing lots of unneeded anxiety won’t stick.

Show them proof that they can actually accomplish their dreams by focusing on one-to-one interaction and you’ve got a convert who will get their devices in balance.

There’s no way to see the future 5 years down the line.

Just try to put yourself where you were 5 years ago and you’ll see where you are now was not where you thought you’d be then.

It’s hard to predict life, friendships, challenges, unexpected events but there is another way.

Look for options – what ifs.

You can’t predict what will happen next but you can prepare for expected eventualities.

In baseball, you don’t hit a homerun every time at bat.

In fact, if you get on base one out of four times, you’re likely making a lot of money in the pro sport.

Sometimes you get stranded on base.

Or thrown out attempting to steal a base or score a run.

To count as a “run” scored, you often have to go through a lot of setbacks and close calls.

Life is no different.

Discouragement is a gift no one would ever ask for but it rewards you as a precursor to success – think of it as a gentle reminder.

Discouraged?  Get busy.

Same with failure – it’s not pretty and no one likes it.

But almost every successful person achieved their goals building upon the ashes of failure.

Failure is a reminder of how badly you want to succeed.

If you go back and try again, it means you really want it and have improved the odds for success.

I asked a student of mine who missed an A by missing a class presentation what would you do if you were your professor?

A different set of rules than what others are abiding by, the same or something else?

The matter was resolved quickly, graciously and impressively when this fine student concluded that they wouldn’t really do anything different.

The ability to see things from the others point of view is where understanding begins.