Tiny Changes

  • The secret to great change is tiny achievements.
  • It’s like rehearsing your lines or practicing a sport – getting the little things right adds up to big results.
  • Shooting for the moon is more than any human can expect on their own, but thinking in terms of little steps is within everyone’s ability.
  • A single still counts like a homerun in the hits column.

Being Heard

  • Last week my NYU students emphasized how important it is to them to be heard and in their study of human relations, they learned some effective approaches.
  • There is a difference between being heard and talking over someone else.
  • To be heard, first become an avid listener as the recipient is going to see hear through their perception of what you are sharing.
  • Ask questions, listen to the answers, educate instead of sell, accuse or blame and communicate.
  • The volume is less important than passionate listening.

Comforting

  •  This is how a parent comforted the worries of her child at bedtime – I found this inspiring and useful in many other ways.
  • My child’s list of worries was long and it was getting late. “I’m going to take these worries for you.  I’m going to put them in a box for the night.  If you want them back in the morning, you can have them, but you don’t need to hold on to them right now.  I can hold them,” I said, running my fingers across her eyebrows.  She nodded.  I pretended to take something from her chest in my hands.  I took them away with me.  She slept all night.  (Via The New York Times).

Transactional Relationships

  • A recent episode of HBO’s Billions saw Wendy consulting her Buddhist teacher’s advice on achieving inner peace by not being so transactional.
  • Transactional relationships are built on the expectation of reciprocation – both people being concerned with how they will benefit.
  • Sometimes transactional deals are necessary but often doing something without the expectation of receiving something in return is more rewarding.
  • Just as money can’t buy happiness, getting what you want doesn’t give you power.

New Rules on Judging

  • You get to judge you – no one else gets a vote.
  • Judging is one of the big personal issues right now as people become exposed to negative sentiments not only in person but through social media.
  • When you put something out on Instagram, Twitter, YouTube, TikTok and other means do you regret it?
  • People say they can handle judging by others better when they are with friends and family, a place of safety or alone by themselves.
  • But even being alone requires a sense of ownership that you are unique and your life is not to be judged by how others observe it but how you live it.

Show Up as a Leader

  • A TikTok with great advice here
  • Confidence is compelling, timidity is off putting, indecision makes you lose the cooperation of others.

St. Peter’s NCAA March Madness Run

  • The Jersey City team no one ever considered an elite school became the first No. 15 seed ever to advance to the Elite Eight. 
  • Toward the end of the regular season, St. Peters went on a losing streak only to be followed by a winning streak.
  • Their coach Shaheen Holloway appears to be a quality leader and outstanding role model for his student players.
  • Although they lost their game against North Carolina, St. Peters’ success reminds us of the real things that help us succeed – what’s in our head means more than any other body part, skill or advantage.
  • Negative thoughts bring us down and occasionally as is the case with St. Peter’s the will to win can help exceed expectations.

Stop Saying I’m Sorry at Work

  • Replace “I’m sorry” with “thank you”.
  • You’re seen as strong and successful whenever you resist the urge to apologize to co-workers or bosses.

Self-compassion

  • You know the saying that a person’s best friend is an animal and there is no doubt that they can be loyal friends – consider those affected by PTSD who feel comforted by an animal they can trust, love and feel safe with.
  • And isn’t that the definition of a true friend not just an acquaintance?
  • People bring joy, diversity and companionship into our lives but asking more of them is often more than most people can provide.
  • Practice self-compassion in order to recognize it in others.

Fix for a Bad Mood

  • Anyone in radio or television can tell you that while what they do for a living requires them to be upbeat and positive when on-the-air, they’re human and don’t always feel that way.
  • When I taught the Dale Carnegie Course, we used to remind learners to “act enthusiastic and you’ll be enthusiastic” – the action comes before the thought.
  • Take a timeout here and see if you can think yourself into a better mood.
  • As my radio and TV friends will attest to, they have little job security and you can get fired on a dime for nothing or by someone who isn’t even sober at the time.
  • I’m aware of an air talent who was fired on the day before vacation and then asked to do their show before leaving the keys under the bosses’ door – you couldn’t tell from what went out over the air because the person was even more enthusiastic when the mic was open.
  • The fix for a bad mood is act happier until the natural motivation catches up with you.