I watched a Flyers game against the mighty Edmonton Oilers the other night – it was close until the Flyers scored a goal within the last 30 seconds to win 2 to 1 – the coaches high-fived each other and the players on the bench were jubilant except, they didn’t win the game.

One of their players was offside and the goal was taken back.  The game went to overtime and the Flyers were the ones to lose 2 to 1.  Often, the celebration begins too early in life for whatever reason and a win sometimes turns into a loss.  The Flyers coach said he was proud of his players.

But there’s something strangely useful about moments like that. They remind us of how fast things can flip — and how quickly we can recover, reset, and take another shot. The goal didn’t count, but the energy was real. Sometimes the near-win is what sharpens you for the one that actually sticks.

As Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver said back in the day “The moment you think you’ve got it made, you’ve made a big mistake.”

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I am encouraged by the fact that the college students I work with are not big fans of artificial intelligence (AI).  They are music majors who have seen the rise of fake singers on Spotify and many worry whether the humanity of song writing and singing will survive this moment.

AI is here to stay – how much it reshuffles our lives, we cannot say.  The human touch, the need for emotion that is so far largely absent from AI bots is the case to be made for human beings.

“Now And Then” — the last Beatles track, revived via AI from John Lennon’s demo—snagged a Grammy for Best Rock Performance, blending tech with raw human emotion to honor legacy.

AI amplifies humanity’s irreplaceable soul, not erases it—your students’ worries fuel the fight to keep authenticity front and center.  AI makes a lot of mistakes but even if it attains perfection, keeping authenticity front and center is the antidote to artificial.

“AI as a tool in music-making is fine, but it’s always going to be the humanity in music that makes people want to listen to it.” — Jacob Collier, Grammy-winning composer.

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You can waste a lot of energy trying to live in the future.  It sounds great, but it has drawbacks.  I see young college students obsessed with their futures and hoping to be successful, but they get trapped – the economy, layoffs, fewer internships, pay.

Don’t let your mind get ahead of itself.  It’s the present that counts.  You will deal with what comes next on that day. The future depends on how you handle today. That keeps you more in charge.

The past is a file to refer to, relive or learn.

The future is a blueprint – remember, blueprints are updated and changed constantly so it is nothing more than a tool.

Now is currency – it’s all we have and it’s a better place to reside – less anxiety, more happiness.

Greek Philosopher Epictetus said “The present moment is the only time over which any of us have any power.”

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I’ve often said I come from a long line of worriers – my mom being the chief and I have battled it all my life.  When you worry, it is usually based on non-discrimination – in other words – worry about everything.

Recently a friend told me how he fights the good fight taking the time to give himself credit for how good he really is at solving problems (worriers rarely give themselves credit for victories they have).  I have known him for a long time and he rattled off the many ways I have handled challenges large and small over the years.

I’m sharing this because I have not been able to get this out of my mind – how we actually are good at solving problems.  I guess, we’re so busy adding new worries that we don’t take the time to appreciate our own resilience.

One key – live in the present with the skills that we’ve somehow honed in our lives. We never know what happens tomorrow, so don’t focus on tomorrow — just today.

“You’ve survived 100% of your worst days so far. Remember that.”

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Apple CEO Tim Cook has been on the hot seat for taking what appears to be a cautious approach to artificial intelligence – the stock has been punished, doubts exist that they may be left behind in the AI boom yet the company just reported record profits, sold a lot of new iPhones in just one week.  The Apple Watch seemed like a flop until it caught on using a focus on health not time or connectivity.  The popular ear buds were a joke when they came out but they are considered a must have – a new iteration is even better.

So, which is right?  Is it better to be first or best?

Trying hard to keep up, stand out or remain ahead is distracting – it causes mistakes, lost vision of the future and simple answers to complex problems.

Then there is this:  “Speed is irrelevant if you’re going in the wrong direction.” — Mahatma Gandhi

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That is the wonderful description by health advocate Arianna Huffington – the voice that puts us down, strengthens our insecurities and doubts.  It comes out most when we’re stressed, and our guard is down.  Making resilience the goal is a partial answer.  It makes us more able to handle moments when we start to doubt ourselves.

Joining a health club or paying attention to physical health has many benefits but it’s often difficult to see the importance of building resilience as if it was a muscular thing.  I see this all the time with young college students who are quick to blame themselves if something goes wrong.  I can smell mid-terms and finals a mile away.

Vincent van Gogh put it in a most memorable way:  “If you hear a voice within you say ‘You cannot paint,’ then by all means paint, and that voice will be silenced.”

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Dr. Amit Sood reminds us that it is not just what we say to each other that matters, it’s how we say it and doggone it, he makes an example of his dog. If he said “Simba, you won’t get any treat today” or “Simba, you are a bad dog” in a kind and loving voice, Simba will continue wagging his tail. But if he tells Simba he’s the best dog in the world in the meanest voice, Simba would cower down.

Sometimes the way we say things is even more important than what we say.  “When you speak harshly to yourself, you stimulate the same brain areas that activate when the brain experiences bullying”.  We actually bully ourselves!

One workaround is to smile with your eyes during the day – it’s difficult to self-bully when your eyes are smiling or as Dr. Sood says “Speak to yourself as you would to someone you love—because you are.”

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The phrase “touch grass” is internet slang used to tell someone they’ve been online too long, are too deep in digital arguments or drama, and need to step away from the screen to reconnect with real life.

It’s a gentle insult wrapped in good advice — suggesting that someone has drifted too far into virtual worlds or echo chambers and could use a little real-world grounding. A bit of sunlight, a walk outside, or just literally touching grass might help them reset.

I teach college students who have no problem turning off their phones — most don’t like that they spend about 93 minutes a day on TikTok.

But there’s another way to escape the pull of screens in a world where you can’t live or work without them: stay busy. Fill your time with things that matter offline, and you’ll touch grass without even thinking about it.

“Simply put, humans are not wired to be constantly wired.” — Cal Newport 

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During the recent Amazon Web Services outage, more than 1,000 web-based products were affected not the least of which was internet dependent beds – the kinds that cost thousands of dollars and allow temperature control and positional variations.  From an X post via ars technica) “Would be great if my bed wasn’t stuck in an inclined position due to an AWS outage. C’mon now.”

From Reddit: “I woke up too hot in the middle of the night last night and kept double-tapping like a maniac to adjust the temperature down since I wasn’t getting any haptic feedback. I only found out why after I got up in the morning.”

We are hopelessly tethered to the Internet – imagine not being able to adjust a smart bed into a smart comfortable position.

Consumers can start by asking one question before buying anything “smart”: What happens if the internet goes down?

Present Shock author Douglas Rushkoff was right:   “We are being programmed by the very devices we program.”

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You know the debate – I can take criticism, but only constructive criticism.  But what about criticism from a bot, from artificial intelligence, how would you like that?

According to a Dayforce study (they’re an HR software company), 87% say they use artificial intelligence at work, 57% of managers and 27% of employees yet 71% of workers have had no AI training.

But the missing link is that it doesn’t actually study how AI-driven criticism or feedback affects people.  The survey is about adoption and training, not how bots giving feedback might impact morale, motivation, or performance, which would need other behavioral or psychological research to fill in.

Apple co-founder Steve Wozniak back in 1983 said “Never trust a computer you can’t throw out a window.”

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Sometimes it feels like with each new day, we’re facing the same old problems.  But actually, many times we chip away with solutions or workarounds and still feel like we’re getting nowhere.

One reason is that people actually are pretty good at eventually dealing with their life’s challenges – what they (I should say, we) do not do really well with is moving on.  I have friends struggling with separation and marital issues who are making real progress but going back and sawing sawdust, as Dale Carnegie would call it, creating a major problem.

We can’t heal while replaying the same story in our heads. As Fr. Martin Padovani says, “Emotions themselves aren’t the problem — it’s what we do with them that keeps us stuck.” Moving on means forgiving ourselves and others, accepting that what’s done is done, and redirecting that energy toward something new. It’s not denial; it’s release. The future won’t look different until we stop staring at the rearview mirror.

Ian Morgan Cron says “When the past calls, let it go to voicemail. It has nothing new to say.”

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Have you heard about Delete Day that was held in Manhattan where 100 people got together to trash their social media apps and get back in touch with life?  Other events are planned for cities here and abroad. The idea is get off of social media, it’s toxic.  And with artificial intelligence (AI), things get more worrisome.

Starting around December 2025, ChatGPT will allow “erotica for verified adult users” under a new age-verification system — part of its “treat adult users like adults” principle. When I initially asked ChatGPT about this because all my students use their app, they denied it.  When I pressed them, they admitted it. They’re already pulling a fast one.

Young people are getting ahead of this.  I have seen more deleting of apps (even if temporarily) than before – they are aware that life is not better because they are addicted to an algorithm.  Still, I saw a ten-year old boy with his father in the Apple Store this weekend being fitted for his first iPhone.

In today’s world, trusting algorithms for health and happiness is not the only option.

“It has become appallingly obvious that our technology has exceeded our humanity.”   That was said in 1946!  Almost eighty years ago! By Albert Einstein.  So, our current distraction is not our first.

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I went to the local New Balance store to buy a new pair of shoes; unhappy with my Asics – I wound up with four teenish looking salespeople to come to my aid.  So, I asked one: “What shoes do you wear when you are not required to wear New Balance in the store?”  Without hesitation, one said, “Adidas” and that sealed the deal.  No, I didn’t buy the Adidas. I bought New Balance because I knew I would get honest answers to my questions.

Honesty isn’t always appreciated.  When I was a teen working in the West Philly Sears sporting goods department, I talked a grandmother out of buying a very expense tent supposedly for her grandson for them to use on a family camping trip – such a nice lady.

Turns out she was not a grandmother but a Sears shopper checking to see that sales associates were upselling at all costs — so, I was banished to the snack bar for a few months as punishment.

There’s something about honesty that never goes out of style even in the present age of the internet, social media and dare I say influencers.

Honesty earns something far more valuable than approval – trust.  Gloria Steinem used to echo President James Garfield when she reminded us, “The truth will set you free, but first it will make you miserable.” 

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The LA Dodgers advanced in their playoff series with the Phillies after relief pitcher Orion Kerkering failed to cleanly field a ball hit at him on the mound as a Dodger runner was heading home to win the game.  All he had to do was throw the ball to first base and the inning would have safely ended.  He panicked and threw a wild throw to home plate and is now struggling to live with a huge mistake that eliminated his team from postseason playoffs.

His teammates are rallying behind him but it begs the question that many often feel when they have let others down not for lack of trying.  Mistakes made under pressure have a way of freezing in time, replaying endlessly in our minds. Kerkering’s error wasn’t from lack of effort but from being human — the moment when instinct and fear collide.

Eventually, he may arrive at the comforting thought that what defines him now isn’t the wild throw, but how he learns to stand on the mound again, proof that redemption often begins where perfection ends.

As Viktor Frankl said “When we are no longer able to change a situation, we are challenged to change ourselves.”

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The house across from mine is getting a new roof and as I was assessing its progress, I saw a roofer standing on the crest with his phone in hand. Yes, this experienced worker even walked never taking his eyes off his phone.

As if that high wire act wasn’t enough, a second worker removed his jacket and sat on the top of the house waiting for more shingles to be hoisted – glued to his phone.

NYU Professor Jonathan Haidt treats problematic phone use as a kind of addiction that must be managed by building strong off-screen habits — for example, creating large chunks of time during the day (or week) when devices are off, enforcing “phone-free” zones (like schools or bedrooms), and delaying or limiting social media/phone access in youth to help break the cycle.

Or as they sarcastically say on social media “You need to touch some grass.”

“If your world fits in your hand, you’ve already made it too small.”

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One of my favorite college professors was Harry Weinberg – his course was general semantics and his book was called Levels of Knowing and Existence.  I know, it seems boring but it was fascinating. I took it with my best friend Bob Donze (he got an A, I got a B but don’t remind him).

In one class, Weinberg who had suffered a stroke previously and talked with a speech impediment as a result asked the class “what color is a red light?”  We laughed and made fun of him (hope my NYU students are not reading this part).  This foolishness went on for an hour until the bell rang and he said one last time “what color is a red light?” Wait until you hear his answer.

RED.  Unless you are color blind.  His point:  by adding “to me” the light is red makes it a fact because it can be observed and verified.  To someone else, red may be a different color.

It wasn’t really about traffic lights — it was about perspective. Weinberg was teaching us that truth is not always absolute but filtered through experience. That lesson feels even more urgent now, when algorithms, echo chambers, and social feeds convince us our “red” is the only red.

“Everything we hear is an opinion, not a fact. Everything we see is a perspective, not the truth.” — Marcus Aurelius

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Some days are just impossible to get through – things go wrong, life happens, and somehow we persist. My broadcasting friends who read this know the many human problems that they have had to overcome to rise above sadness and make the show go on. Here’s one that motivates me from Fred Rogers (Mister Rogers):

“My greatest challenge?  I suppose to walk through the door and sing ‘It’s A Beautiful Day in this Neighborhood’ when I have had a real sadness in my life. I had to go to Miami one hour after my father’s funeral because they were having a Mister Rogers Day there that could not be cancelled. We had 23 fifteen-minute performances in one day. I had to sing ‘It’s A Beautiful Day in this Neighborhood’ for each one of them.”

Even in the hardest moments, he chose presence over pain — a reminder that showing up with kindness can be its own kind of healing.

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I asked one of my classes what they would do if they were stranded on a deserted island with no food but they could have either Spotify or TikTok, not both.  You see, I wanted to find out which music app they really like best.  After all, it’s a music business class.

One asked where can they charge their phones on this island – see how practical they are? I said you get to crank a box for 20 minutes to get 20 minutes of battery time.  One student said, she would probably choose Spotify because it would allow her to get over her TikTok addiction (moms and dads, it’s 93 minutes a day among American users).

More importantly, I am getting a sense with this new crop of students starting school in the Fall that they are very aware of the dangers of being too connected and want to do something about it.

By the way, 12 chose Spotify, 10 chose TikTok and almost everyone wanted to find a way to reign in social media app use – a positive thing.

It’s a spirit of wanting to use connection thoughtfully rather than letting it control them. Billy Cox, best known for performing with Jimi Hendrix says “Technology should improve your life… not become your life.” 

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What to do when the world seems unable to focus and we are beginning to believe we’re talking to ourselves.  Last week as my wife and I were driving down a country road, a truck was coming at us as it drifted way over the center line, the driver looking down not at the road – hitting the horn helped the distracted driver look up just in time.  He made a gesture toward me.

No, not that gesture but a waving of the hand, a thank you for helping to avoid what surely would have been a messy accident.

We know not to text and drive. But somehow, it is becoming more difficult to focus. Driving of only a dramatic way we’re increasingly distracted.  One way is to stop looking past now to tomorrow, beyond this moment to the future. Keep focus on the now and today.

When you look to the future you’re dreaming and hoping.  That’s why author Eckhart Tolle advises “Realize deeply that the present moment is all you have. Make the now the primary focus of your life.”

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It turns out we are not likely to have any shortage of friends in our lives, we’re just missing the right one.  Especially among younger adults there seems to be an outbreak of self-sabotage – attacking ourselves when no one else will do it.

The most important relationship is the one with yourself.  Get that wrong, let it slide, demean it and there’s likely trouble with relationships with others. I don’t know whether it’s the COVID lockdown or the challenging world in which we live but we’re not paying attention to the most important relationship.

Negative self-talk is often harsher than what others say. Self-compassion is not indulgence; it’s maintenance for every other relationship.

As the saying goes “I’m too busy working on my own grass to notice if yours is greener.”

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