Everything we do wrong is in the front of our minds.

We churn it up, regurgitate it and even invite others to remind us of our failings by being first in to insult ourselves.

We think of what we have done wrong more than what we have done right.

There is research to prove that when we think like this we are actually programming parts of our brain to continue making us think this way.

But MRIs have observed the changes in the brain when people attempt to shortcut negative thoughts and replace them with more positive ones.

Not pep talks but step talks that elevate thinking to the next level of possibilities instead of shortcomings.

Every failure is a rehearsal for future success.

Even on a bad day, think of the things you have done right and replay them as often as you obsess about the negative.

Small successes work as well as big ones to help train our brains.

To boost confidence, stop the band aids and think of recording positive thoughts in your brain because after a month or two, research shows your brain will help you to do this more automatically.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The Golden State Warriors head coach Steve Kerr has won two world championships with his talented team that has changed the way basketball is played.

When Kerr senses the team is tired of hearing from him, he buttons it up often handing play-creating power over to a leader on the team that everyone respects.

This is not always the team’s superstar.

Work teams off the court could also learn from this.

Sometimes team members stop listening.

In fact, research shows some of the best coaches of all-time know when to do nothing.  Incessantly cramming more directions and continuing endless teaching is counterproductive.

As Kerr says:  “It’s their team …I think that’s one of the first things you have to consider as a coach.…Our job is to nudge them in the right direction, guide them, but we don’t control them. They determine their own fate.”

Read Steve Kerr, the Golden State Warriors and the Art of Sharing Power here.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Whether keeping a task list or not, there is a shortage of things that need to be done.

Sometimes we make lists or use our phones to remind us.

There is evidence that we are trying to do too much which is too bad because even when accomplishing numerous things, we get the feeling that we didn’t have that productive a day.

The max number for peak productivity is seven.

Better yet, five tasks as a goal someday.

How to choose the seven priorities for today?

Which things are going to provide the most success, productivity, happiness and/or revenue.

Then focus on those 7 things.

This means a lot of other things will be sidelined, but according to time experts, doing less with more focus delivers the better result.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Dogs are great emotional support aides for people who have experienced PTSD.

Warmth, approval, companionship, less isolation, reduced levels of stress and anxiety – these things matter to people suffering from stress.

People could also be emotional supporters if they attempt to provide these benefits to others.

More time.

More companionship.

Approval and acceptance.

It’s a sign of our times that we live with so much stress and emotional upheaval so it gives us an opportunity to supply the very things an ESA does.

One added benefit is that when giving emotional support to others, we are also the beneficiaries.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Maybe trying to balance work and life together is the wrong approach.

Amazon’s Jeff Bezos thinks of it as a work-life circle and that it shouldn’t be looked at as a strict tradeoff.

Now as work follows us into our personal life through digital and social connectivity, any balance is hard to achieve.

Work-life, two integrated parts.

Circular in that they intermix with each other.

The mega billionaire Bezos has breakfast with his family every morning, does not set an alarm clock at night, avoids scheduling meetings (timewasters) and as busy as he is, does his own dishes.

Tech mixed with living.

Being aware of the need for balance in life is probably more helpful than actually wrestling with keeping work and life equal.

Better yet maybe to inject both elements into daily living in an attempt to remain in the now as a function of daily life.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

If I pull you by the hand but you pull in the opposite direction, we’re both in a tug of war going nowhere.

If I stand still and you pull me by the hand, you won’t be going far without more cooperation from me.

Offering no resistance is not cooperation.  It’s not working together.

In business and in relationships, we think we’re cooperating when we offer no resistance but as you can see from the above example, that’s not working together.

Working together is when two or more people agree to move in the same direction together preferably at the same time.

That’s why more emphasis should be placed on winning over people you need on your team to emphatically and enthusiastically go in the same direction.

Working together is agreeing to move in the same direction and then doing it.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Even when things go our way, we could do a better job of savoring the moment.

Fast, connected living prevents us from fully appreciating the good things that happen.

We move on too fast.

In fact, we tend to spend more time on things that irritate us than on things that bring great joy.

All the books, TED talks, podcasts and pep talks are useless unless we don’t postpone joy.

Nail it?  Enjoy the fruits of your labor.

Proud of your children?  Don’t rush the great feeling of pride and happiness.

To be tough on yourself or others affects joy.

Enough good things happen to everyone – even people in stressful situations – to make a conscious attempt not to postpone the critical feeling of joy in our lives.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

My biological clock is ticking.

I either get a promotion or my career is over. 

I’m 31 and I haven’t found the love of my life. 

I’m retiring and I’ll love it (but will I?). 

I have already lived move years than I have left.

The feeling of running out of time has nothing to do with age.  It’s about feeling pressure that time is passing us by.

No one knows how much time they have.   If they’re a teenager, they just assume it’s a long time between high school and old age, but sadly even young people can’t count on that.

Mid-lifers are pressured to raise a family and keep their career going.  They tend to look at time as the number of years they have left to maximize earnings.

Older folks can point to the actuarial tables but today people live unusually long lives given a few health breaks.

When the feeling of running out of time creeps up, double down on what you have this minute – today.

That’s all anyone can count on.

The fear of running out of time is just a lifetime of bad guesses that are not worth making.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

When it’s happening to you, it matters little that failure is the best dress rehearsal for future success.

Just getting through the debilitating feeling that attacks pride, self-esteem and confidence seems like an impossible task.

Okay, things will get better.

How do I get back and overcome my negative thoughts?

Surviving is the key thought – accepting your misfortune for now and dealing with the pain.

Anger is a waste of time and only stirs up more anger.

I’ll be back, things will be different, I will learn from my mistakes, it was out of my hands, it is a gift, I will become better for this.

One thing overlooked is all the good that happened even if the result led to a failure.

Instead of obsessing about what went wrong, start compiling a list of what went right.

Sometimes failure is based on the power of another person to impose it on you.  And sometimes it is political.

There are always more things that went right than went wrong – focus and obsess on these.

The only permanent failure is the one that accepts a judgment you do not share.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

If you’ve ever seen an old black and white picture of your grandma or great grandfather, they always seem to look like they were afraid of the camera.

And they were probably very nice, friendly people.

Contrast that to any picture on Instagram or social media today and they look like they are having a good time – maybe even too good a time.

We base how we feel about people – even whether we’re going to like them or not – by our first contact with them.

Look happy, approachable and engaging and you’re off to a good start.

Look distracted (like you’ve been on your phone), concerned, overly shy or distant and that relationship is getting off to the wrong start.

DJs who smile before they turn their mic on, sound friendlier on the air.

Yes, even the sound of a smile makes you more approachable and engaging.

People invest so much money into how they look – Botox, Invisalign, makeup, an edgy haircut but nothing is cheaper or more alluring than a smile.

Wait for the other person and it may be a long wait.

You go first and watch how many people immediately engage you with a smile in return.

It’s like yawning.  Once one person does it, you do it.

I do it every day when I am with people I don’t know – smile and watch the power of going first.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantageshere.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Putting off dreams, responsibilities, handling tough situations or anything that needs our attention is like tying your hands behind your back.

Later is your enemy.

Thinking that achieving things is based on luck is misleading.

It’s based on how willing we are to deal with what we must do right now – not later.

The secret is starting immediately.

To start your own business, do something that leads you in that direction until you finally arrive.

Confronting personal problems with another person is a main source of avoidance.

Often the person most willing to deal with life’s problems right now is the one who is the happiest and most successful in the end.

Not the brightest.

Not the luckiest.

The most ready.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

We complain about not having enough hours in the day to do the things we really want to do.

That’s just not so.

Down time – the time we spend in-between, waiting for, following or in anticipation of something else – is the most valuable real estate in our lives.

Recognize this and find the added time to do more of what you want while still being productive.

But down time is wasted.

The proof is in our pockets.

Pulling out the phone to waste it on more apps, more chat and more diversions from the things we always say we don’t have enough time for is a prime go-to time waster.

Down time is found time when we’re on the lookout for it and it can give back the time we wish we had to use in more productive ways.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

A University of Oxford professor Robin Dunbar has come up with the maximum number of social media friends that can be maintained at any given time.

150.

The average Facebook user has over 300 friends – so says a Pew study.

Then add Instagram, Snpachat, Twitter to your universe and you’re spending a lot of time on people who you probably really don’t care about.

In other words, a lot of time is being spent in the black hole of social media where we lose our ability to live in the present and nurture friendships even though we only care about a much smaller number of “friends”.

Snapchat is refocusing on small groups of friends instead of massive numbers so heavy users are beginning to demand social media connections that actually have more meaning.

Fewer social media friends leaves you time for the friends you care about just like in person.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The former first lady who died recently at the age of 92 once enraged the students of Wellesley College by accepting an invitation to speak.

The “just a housewife” Bush was hardly a beacon for women’s rights or so the students thought.

The speech alongside her Soviet counterpart Raisa Gorbechev asked the students to consider making three important life choices.

Believe in something larger than yourself. 

Find the joy in life.

Cherish your human connections.

As for the feminist part of her speech, Barbara Bush surprised again at the end of her talk when she asked the young Wellesley grads to follow their dreams:

“Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps and preside over the White House as the president’s spouse.  I wish him well!” 

Funny, feisty, bold Barbara Bush.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

52% of Millennials say anxiety is their biggest health problem and people of all ages are finding themselves under more stress in the digital age.

Perfectionists are great brain surgeons, lawyers, employers but they are not always happy people.

Trying too hard is bad for anxiety.

Giving your all is a better strategy.

There is a difference.

When consumed with having to get it right (or even working for or being with people who demand perfection), anxiety increases.

Play to win.  Put everything you have into it and then leave perfection to those who are willing to succeed at something at the cost of their health.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantageshere.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

How do you put down a phone that does so many things you depend on?

Very carefully, it turns out.

Not all phone apps hijack us to the attention black hole.

Social media does, so start there.  Cutback on social media.  It’s too addictive and it is the biggest detriment to using a mobile device without giving up being present for what’s going on around us.

Spotify, podcasting and endless news feeds hijack our attention from living in the moment.  Use with care because it’s very easy to get caught in a playlist, a podcast or Twitter.

Give yourself permission to go analog at times – weekends, say, when reading print might be a good substitute from digital distraction.

Then, adopt this rule of thumb:  spend as much time face-to-face as you spend on mobile devices and you’re well on your way to a well-earned tech holiday.

Welcome back.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Down and out is a bad position from which to recover.

Down but determined is a guarantee that in time things are going to get better.

Determination overcomes disappointment.

To come back from disappointment, match it with determination.

When Serena Williams loses, look out.

When one of Elon Musk’s Space-X rockets crashes and burns, he grows more determined.

When Steve Jobs got fired at Apple by the man he recruited to run it, there was no way he liked it, but Jobs immediately started another company that invented what today is the Apple operating system setting up his return.

Assisting bad breaks by harboring a bad attitude is no way to rebound.

Be dangerous with determination to overcome.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

I will never buy an outdoor grill that is not made by Weber.

For anything that goes wrong, they always make it right most recently replacing the entire cook box of a large grill because it was not performing up to Weber standards.

No begging, no threatening – no hassles.

Goodwill is the gold standard of customer virtues.

There are other companies that accept the consumer’s word without exception, but not many.  That’s why there is no shortage of irate entries on Yelp.

Consumers want to be believed when they call; not be put on trial to prove their point.  A picture, an answer within a half hour, a new cook box in less than a week.

Whenever possible in business as well in personal human relations, the person who can be first to say yes is the one to be championed and appreciated.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Losing things in life is a bummer.

The more we lose, the unhappier we become.

It works the other way, too.

For every loss, a gain.

Empty nest?  Get that special place for the two of you.

Leaving the job you love?  Move immediately to find a new love.

Laurie Cantillo left as the successful and outstanding program director of WTOP in Washington but before accepting one of the many radio offers she received, Laurie pursued her passion – space – and took a job with NASA (She has since been promoted to the Jet Propulsion Laboratory in Pasadena).

What a role model!  Her son is interested in astrophysics.

For every loss of something we love, find something to gain.

Nothing is worse than the loss of enthusiasm for the next adventure in life.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The pain of going through rough times is nothing to wish for.

But life is full of rough times and some people use challenging times to transform their lives into something better.

A broken relationship leads to an entirely new and rewarding one.

A lost job or failure to win a raise or promotion is painful but useful when the irritation can morph into something better.

A deep personal disappointment that cannot easily be shaken off can be used as a motivator that brings satisfaction.

When rough spots paralyze, they also continue to do their damage.

Pain transforms into eventual happiness when it is used as an agent of personal change and growth.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.