Why is apologizing so difficult?

None of us are perfect.

Saying sorry is not a repudiation of us as humans. It is a reaffirmation of our humanity when we’ve said something to hurt another.

1. Never say “but” because whatever words follow may appear insincere. It is better to not apologize than to add the word “but”.

2. Avoid “if I offended you, I’m sorry” because it reeks of insincerity. If we offended, we apologize. If we didn’t, we say nothing. If we don’t know for sure, find out.

3. Don’t ask for forgiveness — Forgiveness is up to others to grant. Asking for forgiveness appears to be a quid pro quo. The offended party may need time to see that the offense is not repeated before feeling comfortable enough to forgive.

4. An apology is a gift to ourselves — The burden of offending another is lifted when we admit our humanity and be the person we want to be.

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