An $8,000 Tip

Perhaps you heard that Houston Rockets player Russell Westbrook left an $8,000 tip to the Disney hotel staff that has been helping NBA teams continue to play basketball safely in the bubble.

Other players likely left tips as well just not as large.

Westbrook’s got the money, but he’s also got the generosity because it doesn’t take a high figure talent to show gratitude.

And it doesn’t always take money.

A note, a word and a gift if you can afford it goes a long way to making others feel appreciated.

It’s a way of putting words into action and it’s a real-time reminder that as much as the tip was, the gratitude will be felt forever.

Van Halen

David Lee Roth thought he was the band but Eddie Van Halen turned out to be the indispensable one.

Sammy Hagar replaced Roth and the band played on.

But before the lockdown the talented Hagar was playing to smaller crowds.

People need people.

Even really talented people.

Sometimes the magic is made by collaboration – few have the abilty to continue on while changing parts as Van Halen did.

It’s a testimony to the iconic Van Halen upon his death but also a reminder that there’s talent and there is magic.

And ego has nothing to do with making it.

Judging Yourself

Why are we so caught up in the way others think about us or worse yet what we think others think of us?

“No judging” applies to the way we see ourselves, too.

Who we want to be and how are we living up to it at any given moment.

If the actor is concerned with how the audience perceives them, then they are distracted from what really matters – giving the best performance.

You don’t judge your time in the marathon by how fast the winner completed the course, but by your best time.

The same is true in every area of life.

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The Work/Life Question

It’s not necessarily a balance of work and life, but a keen appreciation.

Not the number of hours you spend, but the time focused on things and people that are important to you.

Becoming a better parent, spouse or employee does not come down to how much time you spend but what you do with the time you have.

“Remember to look up at the stars and not down at your feet. Never give up work. Work gives you meaning and purpose and life is empty without it. If you are lucky enough to find love, remember it is there and don’t throw it away.”  — Stephen Hawking

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People Who Let You Down

“You may not control all the events that happen to you, but you can decide not to be reduced by them.” —  Maya Angelou 

You can decide to live with it or to walk away.

The ultimate power is in the hands of the person whose feelings are hurt not those of the abuser.

You Can Control Your Happiness

A new study confirms it and backs it up with scientific answers.

If you believe you have it within your power to control your happiness, you can.

The happiest people don’t wait around for luck to make them feel better, they find ways to turn adversity into success.

It comes down to prioritizing what can be controlled and what cannot.

Here are the results of the Tracking Happiness study.

Tomorrow: People Who Let Your Down.  Sign up here to get it.

The Panic Attack Rise

Psychologists have discovered a significant increase in Google searches for anxiety, panic attacks and treatments for panic attacks.

A Tulanne University study indicates that this may just be the tip of the iceberg.

There are many ways to deal with panic and anxiety when they occur but eliminating the episodes requires changing the way panic prone people look at things.

I recommend to my NYU music business students to read the best book ever written on the fear and worry that drives panic attacks – How to Stop Worrying and Start Living by Dale Carnegie.

Here’s a crib sheet.

Tomorrow: You Can Control Your Happiness.  Sign up here to get it.

The Always-On Work Culture

The new and updated age for career burnout is a startlingly young 32.

That’s right, by 32 the angst, pressure and expectations that make us crazy now burn us out when we should be just getting started.

Trying to do too much, working long hours, “always on” no way to disconnect, pressure to overwork and the coronavirus (59% said they have started to work more hours).

59% of Gen Z is burned out from their “always-on” work culture according to a study commissioned by The Office Group and conducted by OnePoll.

No one is going to help you – it’s personal.

The only way to regain the balance is to put personal goals up there with other A1 business priorities.

It is just as important to make a life as it is to make a living.

Tomorrow: The Panic Attack Rise.  Sign up here to get it.

Winning Right Away

“If you win right away you will never know was it just a fluke or luck or were you brilliant” – Maria Konnikova

The earlier you act, the less information you have.

And stumbling along the way has its benefits because it offers information that success doesn’t offer.

Victory is mistakenly the goal but what the road that leads you to succeed guarantees you will know how to preserve your success.

Tomorrow: The Always-On Work Culture.  Sign up here to get it.

A Next-Up Mentality

When things go well, they seem to keep going well without much effort.

Confidence breeds more success.

And when it doesn’t, it seems like we will never get off the schneid.

Losing becomes easier during a losing streak.

The only attitude that transcends the ups and downs of life is anticipating the next chance to succeed.

A football player who drops a pass doesn’t fear the next throw – in fact, they want to get the ball immediately expecting to catch it.

In life, a next up mentality factors out luck.

Optimism

You’re down in the ninth inning and rally to win.

You’re down in the ninth, rally and lose but feel you could have won.

Down in the ninth, no rally but you learn a tough lesson for next time.

You never give up because you know in your heart that winning is a percentage of times at bat.

Optimism is a deep-seated belief that if you take enough swings, you’ll get enough hits.

Here’s How to Practice Winning

Dominic Thiem was the first man in 70 years to come back two sets down in the U.S. Open to win a five-set match and become this year’s singles tennis champion.

In his acceptance speech Thiem hardly spent any time talking about himself.  He elevated the loser and in doing so himself and those who witnessed it.

Proving once again that we have accomplished nothing until we can show sincere gratitude for both our opponents as well as those who help us.

Watch this clip for lesson one.

The Thing About Luck

There’s good luck and then there’s bad.

Factoring in either one is a waste of time.

Both good luck and bad luck can upend what we anticipate or present new opportunities and challenges.

You don’t wait to win the lottery or lose your job.

Luck is always a factor in anything we do but making your own luck is a better bet.

Overcoming Insurmountable Odds

Failure itself is less to blame than the fear of failure.

In sports, when a team has a seemingly insurmountable lead, they play with confidence expecting the eventual win.

Individuals are far more complex.

Starting is a problem.  Many great ideas and wonderful opportunities are missed because fear of not succeeding is a hindrance.

The best way to overcome fear of failure is to change the way you think about it – see it as an opportunity to learn not as a vote on you and your value.

A ballplayer who hits .250 is failing 75% of the time but you can be sure they look forward to their next at-bat 100% of the time.

46% Happier by Saying These 3 Words

Canine Cottages fitted some dogs with heart rate monitors to discern what makes their tails wag in happiness.

They found a dog’s heart rate increases by 46% when they hear the words “I love you” from their owners.

And that dogs’ heart rates calmed down by 23% while being cuddled.

Expressing human emotions has never been more crucial than in our world of click, scroll and send so words of endearment can be powerful ways to make others happy.

Approval & Acceptance

Approval and acceptance are what people crave the most.

We all want it.

In meetings, in families, in relationships.

That’s why being able to sincerely parcel out acts and words of approval and acceptance is the secret sauce to winning the cooperation of others and making friends.

Criticism and rejection even if well-meaning is counter-productive.

The one who dishes out unconditional approval and acceptance is the leader.

Our Hidden Power

Times are challenging but not impossible.

Continue to raise your spirits and of those around you.

This is our hidden power of working through adversity.

How to Stay Positive

Our brains are like sponges.

They soak up everything they hear and see whether it is positive or negative.

So, allowing others to have direct access into your psyche is dangerous.

Take charge of what you let in by thinking of your mind as a recording device that repeats what it hears over and over again unless you specifically tell it no.

No criticism.

No insults.

No thoughts that limit your possibilities from others or yourself.

You can’t control what is said, but you can control what repeats in your subconscious.

Why Confidence is Like Playing Cards

Obsessing over how good you are is a waste of time.

Everyone has more than enough going for them.

It’s not about the cards you’re dealt, it’s how you play them.

The 7 Second Delay

Broadcasters have used built-in delays to protect the public against unsavory aspects of live programming for years.

The 7 second delay is something that can work for us as well in our fast-moving digital world.

Pause 7 seconds before responding in real time to a text or email message and protect against putting a first thought as a final thought.

Usually, the first idea is our worst idea – delaying a response even for as little as 7 seconds and perhaps more if possible makes us a better, more sensitive communicator.