If you’ve ever played softball, baseball or other sports, we can’t wait to get in there and take a swing at the ball, can we?

Even if we strike out three times in a row, we’re anxious to jump back in and try again.

This is not how most people live life.

We give up too easily, come up with reasons why we’ve done our best, shy away from trying again after a certain point.

We just accept a swing and a miss.

To change that and harness the power of persistence, think of everything you do like a baseball game.

In baseball, if you drop the ball, you actually want the next batter to hit it to you againso you can make amends. No licking wounds, no excuses.

That’s how to live life and increase the chance of winning because there is always the next opportunity to succeed.

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I was honored to work as an instructor for Wynn Etter, a Dale Carnegie sponsor in Cherry Hill, NJ.

Wynn was a force to be reckoned with – a ball of enthusiasm and positivity.  A man who could lift your spirits within the first two sentences out of his mouth.

He often could sense when I had doubts and he would say, “you can do it, tiger”.

Me a tiger?  I guess so if this force of nature thinks so.

Wynn came down with cancer later in life.

All through his treatment which went on for many years, Wynn lived an exemplary life of a person who had to deal with adversity while remaining positive.

How?

He always made it about you.

I would say “How are you feeling Wynn?”

“Great, tell me about your book, Jerry” and he’d be off and running to avoid sulking, sorrow and sympathy.

He lived for years, joined a gym for the first time when he was 65 and taught me by his example that helping others lift their spirits had the simultaneous effect of lifting his.

Wynn died a few years back but as you can read today, he’s very much alive in me.

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Not money – money is nice, amazingly people want and need  it but don’t crave it.

Not lots of friends – yes, friends are important but the number isn’t compelling.

Good health? – certainly, it is hoped for, expected and appreciated but people only seem to crave good health when they are faced with grave illness.

Power?  It’s a drug, wears off quickly and needs to be constantly fed.

The number one thing people crave is compassion.

Sympathy, pity, concern for their problems and sorrows.

And in the end, we do, too.

The perfect gift that makes people crave you is the ability to treat them with compassion.

Listen, relate, feel the pain and connect.

Since we know this is universally true, developing our ability to be compassionate toward others should be our main mission at work, at home and with ourselves.

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Exercise, diet, cosmetics, fashion – these are frequently employed ways to beat getting older.

Many of my college students think their 30’s will be the decade that all things good will happen.

For everyone else, it’s turn back the clock somehow, some way.

But it’s not numbers or workarounds that constitute the fountain of youth.

It’s enthusiasm.

Never outgrow your zest for enthusiasm.

Or as Henry David Thoreau put it “None are so old as those who have outlived their enthusiasm”.

At any age.

We can become more enthusiastic when we are more devoted to be grateful for all that we have not just that which we want.

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Strength isn’t a show of force.

It’s for lifting other people up and for helping sustain you through the challenges of life.

Strong people give power away.

Strong people use their power to help others get along better.

Strength is used to make sure everyone is heard – the number one need of humanity.

It is easy to confuse force for strength but strength is a tool to enable others not celebrate yourself.

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88% of adults stare at a screen while eating with or without children or other adults in their presence.

The average eater will check their screen twice during a meal and only have two meals without staring at a screen each week.

91% watch TV while eating a meal or snack, 49% watch TV and eat on a regular basis.

Why such destructive habits?

The survey conducted by Pretzel Crisps of 2,000 adults blames zombie eating on sending or receiving emails (50%).

48% scroll through social media.

37% watch YouTube videos.

36% focus on work-related activities.

Only 3 meals a week are consumed at the kitchen, 79% on the couch, 64% standing at the kitchen counter, 61% in bed and 48% on the floor.

If this is you, your phone is living your life. Becoming more social and interacting with others in present company, becoming the master of your device is a way to promote good relationships.

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There are two options.

Panic, deny and run.

Or rise to the task.

1. Believing that every problem is an opportunity changes the way the brain is wired.
2. Being committed to be big, act decisively and without fear is a rehearsal for overcoming the problem.
3. Expecting to deal with the problem as long as it takes makes a formidable opponent.

Most people get uprooted when something goes wrong.

Imagine what happens if you are ready to respond before something goes wrong.

Less fear, no denial and never panic.

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90% of a person’s health is due to their own decisions about lifestyle.

Only 10% is genetics.

That means the lion’s share of our good health is in our hands.

Same for problems.

Stressing out how to deal with problems is unnecessary because the ability to solve what’s ailing us is heavily favored in our hands.

Worry is useless and yet it is the single most significant factor for stress.

99.9% of what we worry about never happens and in the off chance that it does, it rarely happens the way we fear.

The numbers are on our side in improving physical health, stress and worry.

If the first thought these things trigger is “the advantage is on my side” the outcome will be better.

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Yesterday we had trouble with the link to the video in the story.  Here’s the story and fixed link.  Sorry for the inconvenience.

Mick Jagger’s Health Routine

Yes, I know Keith Richards looked 70 50 years ago and the Rolling Stones are 70+ and still kicking.

After recovering from recent heart surgery, Mick Jagger returned to working out.  In his shows he covers 12 miles on stage.

His secret and the secret of others who want to remain vital and vigorous is cardio.  Here’s his after-surgery workout.

But it’s the mind that keeps people young and motivated.

When the mind believes it, the body follows in step.

Exercise the mind to exercise the body and reach full potential.

Yes, I know Keith Richards looked 70 50 years ago and the Rolling Stones are 70+ and still kicking.

After recovering from recent heart surgery, Mick Jagger returned to working out. In his shows he covers 12 miles on stage.

His secret and the secret of others who want to remain vital and vigorous is cardio. Here’s his after-surgery workout.

But it’s the mind that keeps people young and motivated.

When the mind believes it, the body follows in step.

Exercise the mind to exercise the body and reach full potential.

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When in doubt, assume you can.

Think of negative thoughts heard, read or communicated like the stench of a skunk so you can wake up and get away from it.

For every complaint balance an appreciation.

When others gossip, leave the conversation.

Don’t become the people you are around, let them be more like you.

Push back against bullies, cut off their oxygen.

Never ask or accept criticism, a real helper would never offer it.

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People who try to gain an advantage by doing, saying or having “better things” than someone else practice the destructive behavior of one-upmanship.

How to defend?

Be non-defensive, refuse to participate, don’t engage in a power struggle where you resort to the same tactics, let the person suck all the oxygen out of the room.

Dealing with one-upmanship at work requires the ability to let everyone know that you are reinterpreting the attack on you as an attack on the problem making certain the other person knows you want to solve the problem and will establish some new ground rules.

In all of this, let the offender be aggressive while the solution is always non-aggressive.

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I was painfully shy as a child growing up in the suburbs of Pennsylvania so much so my teachers told my parents that they should put me into a theater group. I hated it.

I loved radio and loved music – I practiced being a dj in my room using a tape recorder I bought from mowing lawns.

Radio allowed me to overcome my shyness.

What was thought to be an insurmountable obstacle turned out to be the stimulus to overcome a perceived disadvantage.

Adversity is a gift that is handed to us from time to time.

When it arrives, anticipate that adversity will introduce you to yourself.

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Why look to others for that which we think we don’t see in ourselves?

No outsourcing our self-esteem to someone else to win approval.

No putting the way we feel about ourselves into the hands of others and thereby risking being controlled.

We are the ultimate inner source of confidence.

If we believe it, it is so.

If we doubt it, we’re forced to look to others for it.

Inner self confidence comes from loving yourself enough to believe that you are a fine person with the ability to succeed.

Self-confidence is a decision not a feeling.

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The ability to recover quickly from difficulties is a growing problem.

When something bad happens, we often start questioning ourselves and our ability to deal with it.

Toughness.

The odd thing about being more resilient is that it doesn’t just come to us when we need it – it’s all that preparation when we don’t.

1. Developing a strong network of friends.

2. Becoming more positive in how you feel about yourself.

3. Knowing your sense of purpose in life.

4. Learning to embrace change.

5. Remaining optimistic.

6. Liking yourself.

Resilience is the ability to spring back after adversity hits and preparation begins before the difficulties arise.

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Three qualities:

1) Integrity
2) Intelligence
3) Energy

But here’s the thing according to Buffett: “If they didn’t have the first, the other two would kill them, because if they don’t have integrity, you want them dumb and lazy.”

Integrity is the killer quality. Those who have it and cultivate it in a world that challenges integrity for expedience then it is even more valuable than a college education, who you know and whatever money that is available to you.

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We can’t predict the weather even with a phone in our hand and the storm headed straight for us.

We got caught on the beach exactly like that with radar on the phone and the thunderstorm with lightning changed its mind and defied the radar and our eyes.

More important than predicting the weather is feeling certain that we can adapt to it – after all, Mother Nature constantly defies AccuWeather.

The ability to be nimble, handle problems, respond to an emergency, take advantage of good luck when it comes our way, hunkering down when we see things turning bad.

Living for a perfect day is a long wait.

Being able to deal with whatever comes our way is more valuable than trying to predict whether good times are ahead.

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As a Dale Carnegie instructor, I often used this list to summarize the many benefits of becoming skilled in excellent human relations.

Focus on one phrase and when you’ve mastered it, move on to the next until you have made these 7 principles part of your life.

The SIX Most Important Words: “I ADMIT I MADE A MISTAKE”

The FIVE Most Important Words: “YOU DID A GOOD JOB!”

The FOUR Most Important Words: “WHAT IS YOUR OPINION?”

The THREE Most Important Words: “IF YOU PLEASE”

The TWO Most Important Words: “THANK YOU!”

The ONE Most Important Word: “WE”

The LEAST Important Word: “I”

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Trying to win a person over by being someone you’re not will leave you with an empty feeling.

After all, if they like you – the real you – then you have plenty more where that came from.

Even if you gain the approval of one person by catering to them, which you shows up for the next person?

There is only one you.

It’s good enough as is – only you get to decide how to make it better.

The people who are admired most are those who are comfortable in their own skin. Who knows it isn’t important to make everyone like them – just respect them for being unique.

First seek your own approval and you will find many fans who like you as you are.

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Being compatible is not the key ingredient to a happy relationship.

Seeking out a kind person is according to a new study by Michigan State of 2,500 couples who have been married about 20 years.

Who knew? Certainly not online dating apps that aim for bringing people together based on what they have in common.

Instead of “what do we have in common” it is “are they a nice person”.

Shared interests, personality traits and similar interests had little to no impact on relationship happiness.

As it turns out we’re looking in the wrong place for the right partner.

Compatibility is not what makes the heart grow fonder, it’s making a life with a kind person.

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Jennifer Lopez freaked out after giving one of the worst performances of her life on her It’s My Party tour a few weeks ago.

Clogged sinuses. She accidently hit herself in the face with a microphone causing blood to drip down her face.

Fiancé Alex Rodriguez provided comfort telling her the audience wasn’t looking at a few missed steps, they were there to appreciate her beauty and her voice.

Perfection is the goal but no human is capable of it 100% of the time.

Trying for perfection is one thing.

Expecting it is something else.

How often do a few missteps deprive people of the satisfaction that comes from working hard to be the best?

Keep expectations low and motivation high – the secret to real achievement.

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