A study of 18 maritime disasters (ship sinking’s) over 3 centuries covering the fate of 15,000 people of more than 30 nationalities overturns widespread belief that women and children got off the boat first.

Captains and crew survived at a higher rate than women, children and male passengers.

Women do no better even if they represent a small share of the passengers on a sinking ship.

This leads the National Academy of Sciences that conducted the study to perhaps tongue-in-cheek say this human behavior can be described by the “expression every man for himself”.

More than gender wars, this study underscores the importance of understanding that when faced with a life or death situation, most people will take care of themselves first.

In friendships – even strong ones – it’s helpful to remember this human condition.

And it reminds everyone that they are ultimately and always in charge of caring for their own needs first.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The Villanova basketball team that has won two national titles in three years has done it without cell phones.

Coach Jay Wright takes his players’ phones away the night before a game to help them stay focused on their job.

The players don’t like it – of course, they want their phones back – but you can’t argue with the results.

Wright: “They’re kids … They don’t know how to focus”.

Phones produce anxiety and resistance to tactics.

Every night after 10pm for each road game, a Villanova official goes room to room to collect players cell phones.

Phones are the enemy of sleep and sleep is important for everyone and in particular athletes.

Some other teams ban phones from team meetings but Jay Wright sticks to his hard and fast rule.

Phones are tools that make our lives better.

When they become an addiction and affect our sleep, cause anxiety or make us lose focus, it requires taking control of the problem.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

These are the words of Serena Williams, the tennis great who couldn’t be stopped from becoming the most prolific woman tennis player of all time.

23 Grand Slams while battling through various illnesses and injuries that might stop someone with less conviction.

The mind is the most important part of the body.

Without the confidence to achieve, even all other gifts from talent to physical prowess are worthless.

Push the possibilities.

Test the limits.

Believe in the ability to do that which you set out to do.

No limit, no disadvantage, no obstacle is greater than any individual’s unwilling to believe in themselves without condition.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Dale Carnegie’s advice was “don’t criticize, condemn or complain” and it would be a great world if people even tried to live up to this.

You get called in and someone offers “constructive criticism” – you really want the constructive part and the bad feelings you will come away with left out.

You can’t control others, but the next time you are put in a position to answer negative feedback of any kind, these are their judgments right or wrong and you are being watched for how you take it.

Open to criticism or overly defensive?

If they are expecting an argument, skip it – their minds are made up.

Just say thank you.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

It’s one thing to stay positive – think positive thoughts, do things in the present and be present 100% in relationships.

But not focusing on the negatives may not be enough to realize happiness.

Think of what your life would be like if you didn’t have that special person or the career you love or the friends and family you cherish.

This negative visualization actually produces a positive effect.

By thinking about what you’d miss, you appreciate it more and see how the people and things you like make you happy.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Free time to chill and veg out is a waste of free time.

Invest it in something that will bring happiness and see great returns.

Learn something new. 

Start something you’ve been putting off. 

Unleash your creativity. 

Be brave and attack something you’ve been meaning to do.

Free time is not down time.

It’s extra time for you.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Laurie Santos is a Yale professor who teaches the most popular course ever at the college – Psychology and the Good Life.

Salary does make for happiness – after the basics, more money is a dud.

Spending time with a friend and doing things in the moment makes us happier.

Professor Santos encourages learning without laptops even though they have been proven to aid a better outcome.  But face-to-face makes for happier people.  Fortunately, her course is pass/fail – less anxiety.

Rewirements may be necessary – meditate, get more sleep, learn to be thankful.

Students loved the gratitude journal – it’s not new, maybe today is a good time to start one in your own unique way.

Social media?  A no-no but students struggle for a way to stay connected to their generation without losing their happiness to the black hole of social connection.

If you have ten minutes, meet Laurie Santos and her students here.  Maybe forward this to a young person.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Of course “me time”, time spent primarily on you can be reinvigorating especially if you’re under a lot of stress.

But “you time” focused on others can also carry the benefits of “me time”.

Time you devote to others – this powerful giving of self is not to be underestimated.

Listening.

Helping.

Calling, conversing and showing person centered interest in someone who is not you.  Just staying in touch.

It has been proven that one of the best mood elevators we have available is to lose ourselves in the lives of those who mean something to us.

To a daughter or son putting your phone down first and saying “Let’s go for a walk (or a run)”.

To a friend who is alone, a call or visit.

For someone else who is also feeling a world of anxiety – “How about lunch tomorrow?”  That’s “we time”.

Time not focused on you redirected to others also relieves anxiety.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

My senior year college students often asked “What does it take to make a lot of money?” shortly before graduation.

After all the student loan debt many undergraduates acquired, you can’t blame them.

They were disappointed in my answer.

Be great at doing something and get someone to pay you for what you love to do.

Targeting ” more money” is almost always a guarantee of failure.

More money is not a strategy.

Becoming an expert at something you love — that’s the first important step.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Dreams without a plan are fantasy.

Dreams about future accomplishments are now expectations.  They are out in public, no longer just a fire that burns inside of us.

But when we dream about possibilities, we need to have a plan to achieve them.

The plan is as important as the dream although it is often missing from the start.

What does your dream look like?

What does it mean?

How motivated are you to do whatever it takes to make it reality?

Most importantly, what is the first step – then the next step and every move thereafter to make it come true.

Nothing is sadder than seeing a dream of something you can almost taste in your future and no practical, specific way to get to it.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Imagine a boss that doesn’t give you a day off for seven weeks.

Or one that calls you in the middle of your radio show to tell you what you’re doing wrong.

The one who critiques your work when he or she is under the influence (almost every night).

The boss who shows favoritism to others and doesn’t keep their word.

I have worked for all these people.  Perhaps you have a few challenges of your own.

Bad bosses cause good employees to quit jobs they love.

Rule one – never quit a job you love.

Rule two – outlast the bad boss who is making your life miserable (unless they are abusers or so adversely affecting your health that you are in jeopardy).  But report them.

Power, politics and ego are three of the most likely attributes of a bad boss.

Rule three – while suffering fools, never stop reminding yourself of your value.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

1. Guilt– Deal with negative feelings because you don’t need to be your own worst enemy.
2. The Past– Put it in a file cabinet or folder.  Refer back to learn from it.  There can be no happy future when we dwell in the past.
3. Social Media – It is the attention black hole that is now being recognized as an impediment to living life happily in real time.  Wean off social media by replacing time spent in the black hole with face time.
4. Jealousy – It kills relationships and hijacks our best qualities.
5. Running Yourself Down– For every negative that you hear or repeat about yourself, balance it with one (or more) positives.
6. Pleasing Others– It’s impossible to please everyone or even someone.  Become proficient at creating your own narrative without regard to how others interpret it.
7. Controlling– The sure way to unhappiness is to try to change another person.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The life of physicist and cosmologist Stephen Hawking who died after years of slow progressing ALS (Lou Gehrig’s Disease) is the ultimate study of how to beat situational depression.

Hawking was paralyzed.

Eventually could not speak.

Could not live without constant nursing care.

In his later years he was able to communicate only through a speech generating device at first a handheld switch and then by using a single cheek muscle to cue his voice synthesizer.

Hawking had three children, two wives and a life of distinction.

If ever anyone had a right to be depressed, it would be this man who had so many physical challenges.

Hawking’s inspiration to the rest of us is to overcome obstacles whatever it takes.

Realize your full potential even if it means accepting adversity and then devoting your life to overcoming it.

No matter what the many contributions Hawking has made to science, the obvious yet least likely to be recognized is that even as his body died, he lived a full productive life to compensate.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

No one likes adversity, but everyone becomes better for having experienced it.

The richest people in the world had to overcome adversity in varying degrees. And for some reason when money is handed down without being earned, the recipient does not enjoy the success and happiness of those who have to work for it.

The two advantages of tough times are they help us discover who we are.

How we overcome obstacles. How we plan to make it better.

But perhaps the biggest benefit in discovering who we are is to find out what we really want. After all, if you’re willing to pay any price to overcome what ails you, you know you really want it.

The other advantage of adversity is we find out who are friends are.

As trite as that sounds, there is no denying that a person who is really for you will shine while you are dealing with the pain and the challenges of adversity.

Adversity is the rehearsal for success and happiness by being the vehicle that introduces us to ourselves and to those around us.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore? Unsubscribe below.

This is a term that is being used a lot right now – “We need to have a conversation”.

What they’re really saying is – I need to have you listen not necessarily talk.

Our world is fast and impersonal – we’re constantly in touch but it doesn’t mean that we are focused on listening.

99 times out of 100 if someone says we need to have a conversation, they are asking for you to hear them out and that doesn’t necessarily mean agree.

Ironically it has been proven again and again that the best conversationalist is the person who listens, asks questions and learns not the one who talks the most.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The thing about intuition is that we all have it, but very few actually listen to it.

It’s when something feels to be true without having to use reasoning.

It may just be an instinct.

But when what we’re feeling is something we don’t like (“I’m not going to be with this person for life”, “I think I will lose my job”), it’s more comforting to not listen to ourselves.

When we’re feeling something more positive (“I’m going to get the promotion”, “This person I met feels like my soul mate”), we may not be able to prove it, but we want to let that feeling in.

Intuition is just another way to tune in to listening to our needs and wants.

No reason to keep score.

No reason to be afraid.

Listening to yourself is always the best reward.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

We will bet on the lottery knowing that our chance of winning is so remote that we are willing to pay for the tickets just to have that slim chance.

What if we bet on people the same way?

Or on ourselves.

When we know there is little chance of succeeding, our instinct is to give up not to double down and place a bet on ourselves.

We bet against all odds when it has to do with ourselves or others but willingly bet on a miniscule chance that we may someday win the lottery (which, by the way, often works out as a life wrecker instead of a dream come true).

Blind encouragement has its benefits.

Tell a cancer patient they will beat the disease not because you don’t want to discourage them but with the same hope and conviction we have when we see a good outcome in, say, a lottery.

Down on your luck?

Place a bet – buy a ticket on you to win big.  Your chances of succeeding are far greater than that of winning the lottery.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Often the possible is impossible and the impossible is possible.

A better thought is – how do you know without trying.

If two baseball teams showed up and decided not to play the game because one might lose, neither would get to experience what’s possible.

Leave a movie in the middle and you don’t get to know how it ends (unless a spoiler alert tells you in their words).

Always afraid to take your career to the next level?  You’ll guarantee never to know what you may have missed.

Fear in a new relationship because of a bad experience in a past one relegates you to an impossible situation that doesn’t need to be.

The answer to what’s possible and what’s impossible is channeling all your drive, determination and courage into finding out.

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

Meetings are a waste of time.

One person usually enjoys talking while the others can’t wait for them to stop talking.

Yet meetings are helping salespeople lose money, content creators sit and idle away their best thoughts and managers prevented from doing their jobs.

The smart meeting is a meeting with purpose.

If you haven’t defined the reason for meeting, there is no reason to hold it.

If you’re running the meeting are you talking out loud to hear your best thinking or silencing yourself to hear the best thinking of the group?

Are you on the clock?  You should be because everyone has a job to do.

Get to an agreement on what has been discussed or decided.

Together come up with what steps will take place next (often even a good outcome at a meeting is lost to inaction).

Report back.

Implement.

Compliment those participating.

Does this sound like a meeting you would like to attend or one that you can run?

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.

The only thing worse than anxiety is to be obsessive about it which is what we all seem to do.

Take your worries and repeat them in your mind over and over again.

Put like that, it sounds pretty self-destructive.

No worry ever happens exactly as we fear it. 

When you can’t stop thinking about it, do something about it – even something small.

99% of the time what we fear never actually happens – what a waste of our time and emotional health.

Time shift worries as they come up to a specific day and time when you will do all your worrying.   That helps fight the obsession that makes anxiety worse. 

“You can’t always control what goes on outside. But you can always control what goes on inside.” ~Wayne Dyer

Subscribe to these Day Starters for free here.

Share them with friends and family by forwarding this email or posting to Facebook, Twitter, LinkedIn, Instagram and other social media with my permission.

Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

Don’t want to get these emails anymore?  Unsubscribe below.