If you’re anxious about physical distancing, there is a way to look at this inconvenience as a positive.
Adversity and pain are transformational.
They are the things that help us grow, advance and correct our life’s path.
Good days are coming after we use this alone time to better understand our own personal transformation.
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6 feet back, yes. No to pulling away emotionally.
Constraints make sense. But it’s not negotiable that I postpone my hopes and dreams for even 30 days. There’s plenty I can do even constrained.
Accepting uncertainty about the future goes with the territory. Fearing the future is not negotiable. Not even for a minute.
Loneliness can be expected. But that doesn’t mean that I can’t use alone time to reengage all the people I have not had adequate time for in the past.
Depression is natural, but it is not negotiable to dwell on it. Instead trade depression for expressions of gratitude, an elixir for unhappiness.
In this time of uncertainty, some things are given.
Some are not negotiable.
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During the bubonic plague that killed over 200 million people in Europe and Asia, William Shakespeare did some of his best writing in isolation.
King Lear, Macbeth, Antony and Cleopatra.
Shakespeare didn’t have the internet, social media, Zoom, Uber Eats, Amazon or any of the conveniences we have during the COVID 19 pandemic.
Isaac Newton, the father of modern science, focused on things beyond gravity when he had to endure the Great Plague of London.
No one likes isolation but it does have its advantages.
Seeing our present predicament as one bad breaking news story after another doesn’t change the outcome.
Only we can do that by focusing on the 99% who should they get coronavirus will recover and use the extra time on our hands more wisely.
I know people say there is nothing you can do about being sequestered in your own home or apartment, but there is.
First on the list is what you always say you wish you had more time for because now you do.
Live by Netflix, get lazy by Netflix. One reason we’re bored is because passively bingeing is not challenging the part of our brain that used to be stimulated before the virus.
Write down goals and accomplishments every day. Accomplishments make you feel good and they can be done from anywhere.
As a radio program director, my kids were either lucky or tortured to hear their father run a “liner” every half hour for them as I did on my stations (actually four times an hour, but let’s not quibble).
I’d tell them what’s coming up next – “in a little while, we’re leaving for the Flyers game” or “I’m going to read you a book and tell you a story after your bath”. Hardly an hour went by without me doing a “life promo”. The idea is to look forward.
Confinement doesn’t seem as bad when we cultivate the ability to look forward – for now, the little things around our homes or apartments. Later, the things in life that time alone has made us want to pursue.
Even during the Great Depression, there was innovation aplenty.
The first car radio (1930), the first electric dry razor (1929), xerography (invented 1938, patented 1942), the chocolate chip cookie (1933 by the owner of the Toll House Inn).
It’s discomforting enough to be constantly battered by news of the first public health pandemic in 100 years and have time to sit around and worry about it. But recession talk and rising unemployment figures triggered by the virus can also get into the head.
Those are fear thoughts.
Forethoughts are different.
Looking to change careers, wanting to make lifestyle moves to enjoy life, desiring to meet people who share common values.
There is never a recession on dreams and new ideas no matter how much adversity we may be forced to face.
Fear thoughts are centered around why things won’t be good.
Forethought is the first step to overcoming adversity and now is a good time to become familiar with it.
If you avoid watching, listening or reading the news, you might be able to tamp down the fear and isolation of the current health pandemic.
Or, you could take control.
Code writers get into your phone, onto your watch and across your laptops to serve you ads and they’re still doing it during COVID 19. So the more they can keep you hooked, worried, scared or addicted to not missing anything, the more money they make.
Media companies succeed by running ads during times of national concern like now and that’s why everything is “Breaking News” and every story is based on fear.
Find a handful of news sources that have earned your trust and rely on them.
Take control of the negativity that bombards you all day.
Balance fear with hope.
Start with this – from Harvard Medical School citing CDC research and reread as necessary:
“Most people with COVID-19 recover. Estimates now suggest that 99% of people infected with the virus that causes COVID-19 will recover.”
A few days ago, I wrote that we have it better than those who lived through the pandemic of 1918 before the Internet, phone, video, Zoom, Netflix, delivery services and hand sanitizers.
I invited you to add to the list of other things they didn’t have during the 1918 health crisis which I share here:
No radio
No TV
No Walmart, Costco or Amazon.com
No recorded music
No easy-access to reading material (books, magazines, newspapers)
No cars to drive to isolated parks for a nice walk
No high-quality medical care
No antibiotics
No ventilators (the “iron lung” was invented in 1928)
Finding things to be grateful for makes us feel more positive that we’ve got this.
There are two reasons we will survive this pandemic.
One, 99% recover fully.
Two, gratitude for things like these give us hope.
The great WCBS-FM, New York program director Joe McCoy may have forgotten what he told me 20 years ago, but I remember it.
When I asked how does he play the same music over and over each weekend and make it seem new.
Joe said, same music, new ribbon around it.
That’s a way to battle shelter in place tedium.
From now on each day has a format.
A playlist of what everyone is going to do from work or school and play.
A different look to doing the same things.
Getting everyone involved in brainstorming the quarantine time.
It’s long, it’s old already but it’s temporary.
The same creativity that makes our previous routine work is the one that will alleviate the boredom of being housebound.
In one day, we learn that more people are going to die; we have to stay away from each other longer, can’t go back to work or school, keep wondering whether to wear a mask or not and see people we know or know of come down with coronavirus.
If you’re not scared, I’m going to come right out and admit that I am – for me, my family, my friends and for those who have or will be losing their jobs.
But I’m fighting back.
Fear is always worse than reality.
Constant bad news erodes hope.
Without hope, we sense doom.
Never forgetting that over 97% of the people who get this virus will survive and go on with their lives is hope.
That’s a bet you would take even in a New York minute.
Never forget reasons to have hope.
Social distancing are the wrong words to describe physical distancing.
Social distancing causes the feeling of loneliness, depression and hopelessness and people are starting to feel that now.
Physical distancing, yes. But don’t call it social distancing.
Kinship, togetherness and staying connected to others is still important.
A review of 150 studies of the importance of staying socially connected involving hundreds of thousands of people show that people who stay socially connected were 50% more likely to live longer.
While keeping our distance to avoid spreading coronavirus, think about staying close to others.
Do acts of kindness and generosity – emails, cards, calls, Skype and avoid the loneliness that comes from isolation.
If you’re interested in an excellent podcast on feeling lonely, click here.