Assume Success

Think about it.  Why do we assume something will go wrong?

Failure is the default setting that must be overcome.

That’s betting against yourself.

People who succeed don’t assume that they will fail. They expect another victory.  They do not allow others to place a bet against them.

If it’s worth dreaming, it’s worth assuming that you will eventually prevail.

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Finding More Time

There is no need to create more time.  There is already enough.

The question is how do you want to use it?

If more time is created by dropping some things from life, other things will just replace them.

Do less but do more of what is important to you.

To find more time, choose 2 things out of every ten that are important and make them a priority.  The other tasks can go on “hold” – most of them will never need to be completed.

Feeling overwhelmed comes from the pressures of others added to our own list of life’s to-do’s that usually ends in disaster.

Less is more when it is the things that matter the most.

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The One Thing People Crave

Compassion.

Not advice.

Not help.

Not even compliments.

Humans cannot live without compassion which means if we want to connect with others in a meaningful way, don’t be their shrink, cheerleader or advisor.

“I feel like my world is upside down”

“That must be awful”

“I’m so stressed”

“I can’t imagine how anxious it makes you feel”

“I’m so slammed I can’t do it all”

“What a burden that must feel like”

Compassion is sympathy for the sufferings and misfortunes of others.

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The Most Important Question

The most important question is the one to which you already know (or think you know) the answer.

I worked for a radio program director named Paul Drew.  He was a force unto himself.  Sharp, curt but I liked him and he liked me.

In our conversations I often found myself satisfying his curiosity but suspecting that he knew the answers.  One day I flat out asked him.

“Why are you asking me about this, you must already have heard about it”.

His response: “If I try to impress you with what I know, I won’t learn anything new”.

It’s the Columbo response – the disheveled TV detective who sounded dumb but was the guy who solved the case.

The person with the all the answers asked the best questions and got more information than he would have if he tried to impress me with what he knew.

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Job Security

This recession talk that has been escalating lately is a dangerous stressor.

No matter how secure we feel, worrying about something that may not happen at all is the first step to increased anxiety.

This is the classic worry syndrome – worrying about worry.

The answer is to get rid of fear thoughts and replace them with forethought.

Strengthen your contacts, reassess that you are working in a field that has upward growth potential, create a plan B.  Sock some money away.  None of these things cause anxiety. They are reassuring.

How insane is it to worry for months and even years about something that, if it does happen, is unfortunate but not the end of the world?

And one more positive:  look for people who found opportunity when they were forced to face adversity.  You won’t have to look far.

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Loneliness

40% of families eating together engage in no conversation.

They have their fork in one hand and their phone in the other.

Self-imposed social isolation is real.

Combatting loneliness is now a choice.

Physical activity and good relationships reduce loneliness.

Using the smartphone – to call someone, not text which is isolating.

Severely cut back on social media – it is an attention black hole.  Rarely does anyone feel less lonely due to social media.

Recently I saw a mom put her phone away and invite her daughter to do the same.

Connecting was that simple.

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Criticism

Why would we waste even one second criticizing ourselves?

How does that help?

Most damaging criticism comes from within.

When others say it, we push back.

Get out of the business of being your biggest critic and get into the public relations business – promote all that is good.

If you can’t do it, how can you expect others to provide you with the confidence that lives within.

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Triggers of Stress

Fear.

The stress of others that affects us.

Hopelessness.

A major life change.

Something unforeseen, unpredictable.

Social issues.

Every one of these triggers require an opt in on your part.

You can also opt out.

I won’t let my employer give me their fears.

I won’t fear anything until I ask what is the worst that can happen?

When a major life change hits, I can seek help before I take on the burden of stress.

When I am blindsided by stress, I will put a stop/hold on it until I can wrap my mind around it.

Every stressor has a trigger and the power is in our hands to opt out not jump in.

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Success

Success doesn’t find you.  You find success.

Luck has absolutely nothing to do with it.

People who get “lucky” and win the lottery often end in failure and broke.  Lotteries don’t talk about that.

The person who succeeds never gives up.

Welcomes adversity as just another challenge on the way.

Doesn’t lose faith and smooths over the bumps by always seeing their goal in real terms.

A person determined to succeed cannot be stopped.

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Rebounding from Defeat

When a team loses a big game or series it cannot win again until something important happens because to go out and do the same thing that failed does not instill the confidence to prevail.

In sports, winning resumes when sports teams go back to basics — to the things that were working well before.

That’s why we have so many comeback stories.

Defeat hurts but it is also useful in helping to get back to winning ways.

To obsess over defeat is to begin a slump.

To ignore it is to take your chances in the hands of fate.

When misfortune strikes, going right back to what works well is the answer.

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