Drummer Rick Allen lost his arm in a 1984 car accident, eventually came back to play the drums for this band with one arm and a foot.

We are reminded of this because Def Leppard was recently inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame.

You may have heard the term “one-armed paperhanger” but Rick Allen overcoming the adversity of losing an arm in his profession is no joke. He teared up at the induction ceremony to lots of sustained applause.

The adversity may be physical but the advantage is always in the mind.

Believe.

Achieve.

Overcome.

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So, I met a very nice person in King of Prussia a few weeks ago who told me that she knows that she is doing too much for her children and is concerned about it.

Tying their shoes for them – they are 11.

Carrying their sports equipment from the car when they are athletic enough to handle it.

Chauffeuring them when school is just around the corner.

Still she feels badly.

Same applies to our individual lives.

Young people also feel like they are overwhelmed – that they lack the confidence to succeed because they are afraid to fail.

Too much means too much guilt.

Too much also means creating too much anxiety.

Trying to avoid adversity robs us of the tools that train us to handle adversity.

Replace “too much” with “I trust that you can do it”.

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I heard someone say “I’m doing my best but it’s not good enough”.

What?

Your best is always good enough – it’s your best.

When we let ourselves believe that everything we have to offer is still not enough, we are the problem.

All my effort – that’s the best I can give.

All my sincerity exhausts what I have inside.

All my intelligence means I have turned my curiosity loose to be open to learn more – do that and it is the best that you can do.

I’m the best spouse and father I can be – if you give all you’ve got, you succeeded in spite of any criticism.

Confusing our best with how to get better is what’s killing us.

Your best is everything you can muster and that’s also how we get better.

No employee review, criticism from a mate, harsh judgment from yourself will make you better.

Just be the fine person you are and note the difference.

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Sunday, Tiger Woods won the Masters Tournament for the fifth time.

And a major golf event for the fifteenth time – three shy of all-time leader Jack Nicklaus.

After numerous back surgeries.

Scandal in his personal life.

Struggles in his chosen career.

Adversity is best when used as the ultimate motivator to achieve your goals.

It’s not just for the stars, the heroes, public figures.

Woods’ triumph over all odds reminds us that it can happen to anyone who refuses to quit and uses their adversity to find success.

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It’s failure.

Study the great influencers in the world and they all have the same pattern.

Fail.

Fail.

Fail.

Succeed.

Failure is a rehearsal for the success that will happen next not the end of our dream.

Learn from mistakes.

Adapt, change and begin again.

Never give up.

If you want to know how to recognize a person about to succeed, look how they handle adversity as a gift and not a curse.

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The voice in your head can either be a motivating force or a self-defeating echo that prevents health, happiness and accomplishment.

So important, that it’s worth thinking differently about that voice.

It works better when we speak to ourselves instead of letting others whisper in our ears.

Believing is as simple as repeating it over and over again.  When we are criticized or doubted, not believing takes its toll quickly in a negative way.

Criticism is outlawed – don’t accept it, don’t do it – wanting to be better is fair but not in the form of “constructive” criticism.

Love yourself, your ideas, the gifts you have been given, the people you are blessed to have in your life and replace negative thoughts and criticisms with appreciation of these things.

That voice in your head doesn’t have to scream, it just has to whisper “I believe”.

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A number of years ago the successful hockey coach Mike Keenan devised a way to steady the road to success and factor out periods of team failure.

He divided up the hockey schedule into ten-game increments.

This way players could go on a tear and overachieve or they could withstand a slump and not become so obsessed with it that they couldn’t turn it around.

Most of us don’t divide our goals into stages which is why a losing streak can really be a terminal setback.

The thing is to put goals into perspective – time periods that begin, restart or end, dividing work tasks up so that they might be addressed in doable pieces instead of all at once.

One step at a time is an idiom that takes on more meaning when we take them in separate flights not all at once to ascend to the top. 

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To solve a problem, we must know what it is.

So why do we skip that step and get right to solving something we only think we know?

The Dale Carnegie Course teaches problem solving and arguably one of the most important steps is to identify the problem first.

Yes, we’re all in for solving problems even if we don’t know what they are.

Emotion factors in, fear, anxiety.

Finding the solution is not as difficult as clearly defining the problem.

Here’s the 6-step problem-solving formula:

1. What is the real problem (not imagined, convoluted, hurtful or emotional)?
2. What are the causes?
3. What are the possible solutions?
4. What is the best solution?
5. Take action.
6. Set a time to revisit your solution.

No workable solution can be found without using these steps.

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It’s harder to do than we think.

Can’t is a word that pops up all day long and the more we hear it, the more it becomes believable.

Make a mental note every time you hear the word “can’t” and every time you say it. 

The same applies to the word “won’t” – a sneaky variation of “can’t”.

Find ways to replace it with “will” i.e., “I can’t make it by 6:30” now becomes “I believe I will arrive by (whatever time is reasonable).” Or “I can’t do that presentation in front of all those people” which becomes “I will try to do that presentation in front of all those people.” 

Can’t is a limiter.

Will is a promoter.

One declares defeat before trying.

The other anticipates victory because you’re trying.

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Today is the day to be good enough.

To be immune to the comments from others that hold you back.

The thing is, we give our best more frequently than we admit but allow negativity to steal the reward of feeling really good about it.

The bet to never make is the one against you.

Why do that to yourself – why work so hard and still find a way to block your own success?

It’s often easier to buy a lottery ticket than it is to put a down payment on your abilities.

If you won’t, how can you expect others to bet on you?

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Read some sample chapters of my book Out of Bad Comes Good, The Advantages of Disadvantages here.

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