Add digital addiction to the other addictions that ruin people’s lives.

There are rehab programs popping up as the need increases and some psychologist specialize in treating the anxiety that results from being connected too much.

Yet, just like the excuse “I can handle one drink”, formerly happy people are finding themselves deeper and deeper in 24/7 stress by not recognizing their real limits.

1. Limit your connectivity to specific times and durations.

2. Come to understand that scrolling through a Facebook or Instagram feed is a “black hole” to be avoided or at the very least, limited. Set a stopwatch on your phone with how long you will stay involved in social media.

3. Don’t check back so frequently.  You won’t miss anything more important than what is happening in the present.

4. I have 2 screens on my iPhone for things like my Uber app, weather, etc.  Everything else is in folders titled “games”, “social media”, “podcasts”, “news”, etc.  Anything in a folder gets a time limit and every app on screen one and two is a short-term distraction.

5. Spend as much time on the phone (speaking and listening) or in-person as you spend on your phone.

Digital addiction can be avoided, but first you have to admit that there is a problem.

52% of Millennials have digital addiction so they may be among the first to step up.

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The captain is not the last person to go down with the ship.

We know this from forensic evidence of vessels that have sunk.

In fact, the captain is among the first to abandon ship preceded only by the crew.

Unlike passengers the crew is trained on how to survive at sea.

Yes, the women were left to save themselves only followed by – believe it or not – the children.

This does not mean that everyone jumps overboard. There are occasional tales of heroic and selfless actions that have saved others at the expense of their own lives.

No matter how much you trust others whether earned or imagined, always be prepared in life to depend on yourself.

Not the person who promises a promotion.

Or the friend who insists they will be there for you no matter what.

If you’re that fortunate, be grateful.

Otherwise prepare every day by learning to count on the most dependable person you know – you.

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Students learn less when they use a laptop or tablet to take notes in class and presentations.

And their grades are worse than those who do not use these note taking aids.

They distract users from receiving the message and distract those around them.

This spells trouble in corporate meeting rooms and at presentations where digital devices are standard equipment.

The people who look like they are trying to absorb the most from the content presentation are actually hurting themselves.

In random tests at Princeton and UCLA, students who used pen and paper outperformed the digital note takers.

Some professors discourage or outright ban the use of laptops and tablets because smartphones can take pictures of handwritten notes that can be stored later on a student’s computer.

The point is – access to information and ease of absorbing such information is turning about to be secondary to focusing on the content in real time and thinking about it.

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People tend to cling to memories of the past as they become older or even as they experience success at a younger age.

Memories are made of successes and while they feel good to reflect on, they feel even better in real time going forward.

Do, don’t stew.

Start something new — don’t just review past successes.

Engage someone new – a person you don’t normally contact, spend time with or have a dialogue with.  Start one.  One new outreach a day, brings 365 potential people some of whom can enrich your life (and you theirs).  It only takes one.

Life is like a concert.

We enjoy songs from the past but we also appreciate brand new lyrics and beats – preferably together in a nice balance.

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Dale Carnegie says the only way to get the best of an argument is to avoid it.

For those caught up in their own or someone else’s drama, these steps are helpful:

• Listen – Listening helps eliminate the feeling of self-defense that is triggered when another person is coming at you in an argument.  Showing that you are attempting to listen and understand is the first line of defense.
• Acknowledge the argument – Being able to repeat the other person’s complaint is proof that you are listening even if you do not agree.
• Support the argument – Supporting the other person’s right to disagree helps pave the way for your right to have your own – differing – opinion.

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Step 1 – Write down your top 25 career goals

Step 2 – Circle only your top 5 options

Step 3 – Put the top 5 on one list and the other 20 on a second list

Then give the top 5 list all your attention and avoid at all costs the second list until you’ve succeeded with the top 5.

This concept also works for daily to-dos.

Step 1 – Write down your tasks for the day

Step 2 – Circle only your top 5

Step 3 – Put the top 5 important tasks on one list

Give all your attention to that list until they are completed and then you can add more.

Multi-tasking is a myth that studies prove does not produce more efficiency and does create more anxiety.

Focus your time and energy on things that matter most.

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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg and Priscilla Chan agreed in writing in a “relationship agreement” before they were married to spend 100 minutes of alone time with each other each week away from work.

Rapper Jay-Z and singer/wife Beyonce have a pre-nup in which she earns $5 million for each child they have together. It’s not the money. They are worth over $1 billion together. It’s about placing yet another value on becoming a parent.

Actress Nicole Kidman and singer Keith Urban have a pre-nup in which Urban gets $600,000 for every year he remains narcotics and alcohol free.

Jessica Biel receives $500,000 if Justin Timberlake cheats. They are worth $248 million together.

This is not about the money. It’s about goals.

When goals are clearly stated whether they are in “relationship agreements”, pre-nuptials, employment contracts or even Valentine “I Love You cards”, they have the best chance of success.

Imagine trying to solve a problem without stating specifically what the problem is.

Goals cannot be reached unless they are assigned a value and committed in a document as a blueprint for success.

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Do it sooner than promised.

Exceed expectations.

If you buy a product from Apple on back order, they always promise a drop-dead date that they will exceed.

When my new iPhone arrives weeks ahead of that date, Apple makes me happy to be spending more money than you probably should.

Your son will be happy when you not only keep a promise but double down on it.

Do something sooner than promised for a spouse or partner.

Your boss will be elated if you deliver the project ahead of schedule and better than expected.

No need to take courses on how to win friends when the answer is looking right at us.

Be first.

Be fast.

Be sooner than expected. 

An early New Year’s resolution all of us would be wise not to break.

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Burger King did an amazing video in which they bullied a Whopper and more people came to the defense of the burger than they did on people who were getting bullied in one of their restaurants.

Over 3 million people have seen this video.

It shows the importance of speaking up.

95% reported the Whopper being bullied and far fewer would stand up for a person on the receiving end of insults.

To fight bullying, speak up.

See something.

Say something.

Bullying is not okay and it can’t persist if we speak up about it.

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Most of us know what we want but spend a lot of valuable time and effort talking ourselves out of it.

If you know what you want, hit the Start Button today.

A new job? 

Within the hour, start the ball rolling.

Want out of a toxic relationship?  

Draw the line now and don’t back off.

Spend more time with the family?

Go home tonight, turn the phone off and do several things you have not had the time to do together.

Unhappy?

Before the day is done, book an appointment with a counselor and start real change.

Feel guilty?

Forgive yourself but don’t forget what you have to work on.

Resentful and bitter?

Let it go today before the resentment you despise becomes part of you.

See the Start Button in your mind’s eye and use it often to bring about real change.

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