Robert Marchand is 105 and probably more fit than people half his age and I am writing about him not because he set the world record in one-hour cycling where you ride for 60 minutes on an indoor track.

But because he is getting fitter even as he ages.

He pedals about 17 miles.

After the age of 50, the body doesn’t usually increase its aerobic fitness, try as we may, even though people can work hard to maintain.

Doctors usually accept death decades earlier than Marchand does because he hasn’t considered it.  Example:  Marchand is convinced he can improve his performance next year when he is 106!

His fitness routine is unique. He doesn’t use a heart monitor and has an interesting mix of 20% difficult intensity to 80% light.

A simple diet.  A glass of red wine.  Very socially active.

But all of this is not the overriding message coming from a 105 year old man.

Reject limitations.

Doctors don’t know healthy living.

Be social.

Pray for great genes.

Most importantly, live going forward not looking back.

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I came across some fascinating numbers about how teams in the four major sports have done after they changed their coach in the middle of the season in terms of win percentage and if they made the playoffs:

National Hockey League      +.041  (40.7% made the playoffs)

NBA                                     +.029 (28.1% made the playoffs)

NFL & AFL                            +.074  (3.4% made the playoffs)

Major League Baseball         +.015  (4.0% made the playoffs)

(Source: Wall Street Journal/Stats LLC)

Six NHL teams even won the Stanley Cup after making a mid-season coaching change leading the Journal to write this headline: “Why Every NHL Team Should Fire Its Coach”.

So athletes respond to change and it is very likely that workers and family members also respond to hearing a different voice.

This got me to thinking not that we must fire our mothers and fathers every two to four years, but how we should think seriously about changing our messages — the way we talk, empathize and motivate others so that there isn’t just one way.

If it is human nature to respond to new voices, let’s resolve to be one of them.

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No one has all good days.

Dealing with the bad days can be a challenge.

When you focus on helping someone else with their problems and get the attention off your difficulties, bad days can become more tolerable.

When I speak to groups about topics like these, I will often distribute 3×5 cards and ask everyone to write down their three biggest problems in life right now.

No names on the cards.

I collect the cards and redistribute them to everyone else giving them a new card and a new set of problems.

When I ask who wants their own problems back, 100% of the time everyone prefers their own.

Helping others.

Focusing on problems other than ours.

Two positive ways to get through a bad day or a rough patch.

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We love to have our ducks in a row.

Surprises are not something most people want.

Surprises can also be rewarding sources of happiness even ones that are not on the surface happy.

I met my wife by doing something I never do.  I called a temporary service to fill in for a week while I was away doing a conference.  Obviously, she stayed for a lifetime.  And I’m not kidding that the agency wanted me to pay a fee because I married her.

Really?

I know of someone who was surprised that she had breast cancer but even more surprised to find out that she didn’t need chemotherapy.

Or the friend who was surprised her husband was having an affair that led to turmoil, sadness and then a new life with a person who valued her.

The job candidate in radio who didn’t get the job he wanted only to remain on the sidelines for another year until the job of his dreams came along.

Surprises are not so bad because they often have a happy ending.

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Here’s what I do when I receive an email from someone who either assumes I have no feelings or no brains.

I write a simple response. 

“Is this something that you would have said to me in person?”

About half the time I get no response, but rest assured – message delivered.

And believe it when I say about half the time I get an apology, often a lengthier apology than the original insulting email.

Sometimes I make a new friend – and I’m not kidding.

Hiding behind a computer or smartphone doesn’t always bring the best out of us so when you ask a person if they would have said the insulting thing to you in person many realize that they went too far.

Instant communication does not mean instant gratification.

Before you hit “send” assume you may someday have to read that email on the witness stand in a courtroom.

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Gutsy for jumping from the stadium roof onto the field (even if it was recorded in advance).

Electric for the over-the-top Super Bowl halftime show she did.

Talented for her great voice.

These are the things that came to mind when Lady Gaga performed at halftime during Super Bowl 51.

But trolls online had a field day with what they described in all sorts of gross ways as body fat.

In particular, belly fat.

They didn’t like it so they shamed her from the safety and relative anonymity of their mobile devices and social media networks.

Gaga’s response was “I’m proud of my body and you should be proud of yours, too”.

Body shaming is a coward’s game, but it happens all the time.  Not just to girls like Lady Gaga but to children faced with inconsiderate people who are made more powerful through social media.

The best defense against all types of shaming is being proud of yourself the way you are.
There is only one of you, celebrate it.

We don’t live our lives by outsourcing our self-esteem to others.

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Defeated at halftime, winners in the end.

The New England Patriots surprised the Atlanta Falcons by not really using the usual motivational techniques.

Dour head coach Bill Belichick is far from Pete Carroll in that department but somehow even Atlanta became increasingly shocked to see their certain Super Bowl victory slip away as each minute ticked down.

Both teams were the best that football had to offer.  After all, they made it to the ultimate test, the big game.

You’re never out until let yourself believe you are.

Don’t even think about giving up.

And while pep talks have their value, channeling confidence from deep down inside is far preferable.

This applies to the rest of us as well.

The worst news isn’t necessarily the worst until you give up.  Just ask a cancer survivor.

Pep talks are mind candy, but believing in yourself is power food.

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The antidote for feeling threatened is to think of a threat as a challenge.

Not, this is the worst thing that could ever happen.

Instead, this is the biggest problem I have faced in a long time.

One way feeds the stress.

The other is a positive response.

We often anticipate threats to us that are not actually there and are never going to happen.

In fact, most of the things people worry about never occur and when they do, they are rarely exactly the way they were feared.

When you feel fear, feel the challenge to overcome it.

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Picture this.

Before cellphones were developed, how likely would it have been to carry around an old Bell Telephone everywhere you went so you could plug it in for more access.

No one would do that but today because they are light and convenient, we are tethered to our digital devices.

Choose not to use your cellphone if you are in the company of others, taking in life as it happens in real time or able to postpone looking at it.

One of my college students said without her phone, she felt empty.

The phone is a tool, not a way of living.

Cellphones are not ruining lives, people are.

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On the days when – for whatever reason – you’re not feeling happiness …

1. Channel the happiest person in your life and think about how you enjoy being around them.  A friend who never judges and makes you feel good.  Who always has a word of encouragement for others.  Or a special someone who just by being in their presence makes you feel happy.

2. Think about someone you know who is fighting an illness, a problem or a brave relationship or work battle and then remind yourself that as of this day, you are not.

3. Name three people you are grateful for and yes, it can be the same three people every day or someone you just met.  The neighbor who helped you push your car out of the garage so you could jump it.

4. Focus on three things you couldn’t bear to be without and remind yourself of your good fortune – you don’t have to live without them.

5. Embrace the momentary unhappiness so you can compare it later with your good fortune.

Don’t always wait for happiness.

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