Yes, anger.

A healthy sense of outrage at the problems that plague us or people who stymie our growth and happiness.

Hope is not a fuzzy word.  It is a formula that helps us through the challenges of life.

People can endure anything if they have hope.

Viktor Frankl, the young psychiatrist imprisoned in a World War II concentration camp endured inhumane treatment that was also directed at 6 million other victims.

But when he was freed, Frankl in his book Man’s Search For Meaning relates how faith in some people gave him hope about his condition and his fellow man.

Without hope, no one can survive.

To get to hope, be courageous and show an appropriate healthy sense of anger for the things that get us down.

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The three times divorced movie star Ali McGraw says all her marriages ended because she never told her partners who she really was.

Communication is merely an unmet expectation unless we feel strongly enough to start the process – at home, at work with friends and family.

When people don’t communicate they almost never say, “I didn’t communicate”.

Sometimes they admit, “We didn’t communicate”.

But usually the breakdown is described as “they never communicated with me”.

We cannot expect others to be what we want them to be unless we are committed to being what we want to be.

Think it.

Say it.

All you can do is your part.

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Marriott, the hotel chain that made $13 billion in revenue last year caused a dustup from customers when they enlisted the help of TV anchor Maria Shriver to come up with cash to pay their underpaid hotel maids.

To be clear, Marriott’s’ hotel maids are among the lowest paid in an industry that also has a 40% higher injury rate than other service sectors.

Many Marriott hotel guests happily pay cash bonuses to their individual room maids but didn’t appreciate the envelopes placed in 160,000 Marriott hotel rooms in the U.S. and Canada recently.

One tweeter said, “I have a great deal for you Marriott – you stop charging for wireless in the rooms, and I’ll put that money toward tipping the maids!! Win Win!”

Another said, “..rather than telling your patrons to tip their attendants, or spend marketing dollars to roll out a campaign, isn’t it your responsibly to pay your workers livable wages so that tips are not required!”

Millennials have renewed our passion for being authentic not only as a person but in our business dealings.

Cable companies and mobile carriers are less than honest with us.  If you are planning to buy a new iPhone, lots of luck determining the real price of the phone beyond the promises of cellular companies.

All of this reminds us that to be authentic – the real deal – should be our main goal.

Be ourselves with warts and all.

Reject Mad Men-era spin saying one thing that really means another.

People are attracted to authenticity.

By the millions.

And one relationship at a time.

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New York Senator Kirsten Gillibrand outed some of her colleagues in the new book Off the Sidelines.

Sadly, women are still the targets of men who are either unthinking or uninformed that women are the exact same thing as men in the workplace.

Just after having a baby and being appointed to replace Hillary Clinton as Senator from New York, Gillibrand heard:  “too fat to get elected statewide”, heard warnings from colleagues about being “too porky” and being told that she’s “even pretty when she’s fat”.  One senator even grabbed her waist and called her “chubby”.

She was reduced to tears and lost confidence; Gillibrand said, “I wasn’t in a place where I could tell him to go (F) himself”.

Women get these undermining comments all the time even in this day of enlightenment across all industries.

My thoughts:

1. Reject any comment directed to you as out of line (even psychological ones) that you don’t agree with.  As Eleanor Roosevelt famously said, “’No one can make you feel inferior without your consent”.  So the solution starts with you.
2. Countering with insults only reduces you to their level – cut them off, dismiss the criticism and move on.
3. Combat the damage that can easily be done to your reputation by focusing primarily on being the competent fine person you are.

We are human.

Sexism and harassment hurts.

Put every negative comment to work to succeed in your goals and to be the person you want to be.

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Before I give a speech, I stand up as straight as a ramrod, take deep breaths and stride forward to the stage.

As a radio program director I often asked my djs to stand up for their shifts – at least at the beginning of their shows to emote confidence and power.

Now I know why.

Amy Cuddy, a social psychologist at Harvard Business School has done research on “power poses” that have clearly helped people from all walks of life, in just about every career and some who have even been damaged by bullying, mental illness, sexual assault or physical limitations.

I am anxious to share this with you and hope you will pass it along to friends, children and loved ones:

1. Making yourself BIG for only two minutes changes the brain in ways that build courage, reduce anxiety and promote leadership skills – tested techniques that really work.  Get up and stand tall.
2. Stretching out comfortable in a desk chair – feet on the desk, fingers held behind your head – increases testosterone by 20% and better yet, lowered the stress hormone cortisol by 25%.  Just that one move.  Think about how we sit slumped over our laptops, iPads and phones all day long.  It may not be convenient, but sitting straight up at a desktop computer breeds more confidence.
3. Instead as Cuddy puts it “fake it until you become it”.

Cuddy: “Let your body tell you you’re powerful and deserving and you become more present, enthusiastic and authentically yourself”.

We’re always looking for high priced ways to take a pill or attend classes and even seek professional help to mitigate anxiety.  Try this two-minute approach today and share your comments.

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By trying to take a picture of this bumper sticker as I did on Sunday.

You see, the clever bumper sticker distracted me enough to photograph it for you.

Texting while driving is more dangerous than drunk driving and that’s not good, either.

Parents text more than young adults – backed up by research I have shared here.

It’s a menace to you and to your children if you are a parent.

The law clamps down on drunk driving but lets texting while driving go on in spite of the few states that actually “ban” it in principle if not in practice.

Again, texting is not the problem.

Bad judgment is the problem.

Apple, Google and others are trying to find hands free ways to receive and respond to texts but that may fall on deaf ears because if you check with young people (and their texting parents), it’s the tactile feeling finger texting that brings the pleasure.
Technology already supplies us with ways to record it and text it.

Mel Karmazin, the media executive who most recently helped Sirius XM satellite achieve success used to say that everything was a distraction in a car but that radio was the least of them and over decades of use few have ever died from listening to the radio (unless the programming was that bad).

Don’t look to others to reign in texting while driving.

Just as your best friend deserves as much non-distracted face time as our digital devices, the same holds true for driving.

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Never has any generation lived in an age so aware of friendship.

The term social media suggests friendship – Twitter, Facebook, Instagram, Snapchat, Vine and the like.

We “friend” people on Facebook and our total number of friends is tallied on the site for all to see almost as if to claim bragging rights.

We text – usually about ourselves.

When we talk, we are increasingly ego centered.

Dale Carnegie, the still heavyweight champion of human relations, said to focus on that which other people want makes them like us more.

If he is still correct then we are making a lot of enemies.

Not answering texts.

Answering only what we want to answer.

Talking in person or on the phone with others about our favorite topic –ourselves.

Don’t be a friend who takes.

Give your time and sincere interest in the lives of others.  Even strangers.

You won’t die of neglect.

In fact, you will feel great knowing you are empowered to make other people come alive and at the same time crave being your friend.

Friends who give, give of their time and sincere interest.

They put aside their own personal needs.

In giving, they receive.

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This kid is staring at a screen way to early in life apparently with his dad’s permission.

I snapped this photo at the Apple Store in Cherry Hill, NJ mall as I stared in disbelief.

I mentioned to another customer playing with the new iPhone and looking on in disbelief that if she wanted to learn all the new features, ask the little boy in the stroller.

Increasingly younger children are learning how to scroll and click before they learn how to interact with others.

Parents are at wits end as to what to do because they want their children to be able to succeed in the digital world and yet they know what damage is being done to developing brains that are being shortchanged on human interaction.

Then there is peer pressure – even if your kid must observe screen time hours what about their friends and even their teachers?

Here’s some solace.

A smartphone is a dumb replacement for human interaction.

But it is a wonderful tool to augment communication and access information.

Never turn your back on new technology.

Embrace it.

But be an example of balance to your kids, your friends and associates by putting digital devices in their place.

Smartphones are not a way of life.

They are tools to live life better.

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The best advice I ever heard about not letting digital communication ruin our lives is:

Give your loved ones the same attention that you give your favorite digital device.

Stark reality is:  digital beats personal and our relationships suffer when we let this get out of control.

This is a battle I fight every day because I love the immediacy, convenience and instant information my digital devices can give.

New technology cannot replace the human need to relate to each other in a direct, personal way.

Marriages suffer.

Children are literally left to their own devices and are robbed of parental involvement.

We become desensitized to dealing with other people directly when we never see them, never know when we’ve pleased or hurt them.

Some thoughts:

1. Spend as much time in the present directly relating to others as you spend online, in social media or enveloped in your digital devices, websites and apps.
2. Reward those around you with “digitally free” dinners, days, outings and time spent together.
3. Make up for being absent because you’re spending too much time with technology by greeting the ones you value – who matter the most – as if you were just returning from a week’s absence from them.

Technology is not going away and shouldn’t.

But meaningful, loving relationships will continue to suffer if an equal amount of our time and attention is not focused on undistracted direct personal relationships.

It’s natural.

We all get concerned about the finite number of years our loved ones have left and for that matter what we have.

What may be surprising is that the fear of death is not a condition of the old, but also the young – many of whom increasingly are becoming obsessed with it.

Life is a journey with a beginning, middle and end.

There is no effective way to push aside the fear of death other than to make sure we fear not living every day that we have more than death.

I know a man who is raining cancer who asked his urologist if he could help him live just a few more years.  Of course, as doctors will tell you, once we get the reprieve, we want more.

The author and Mayo Clinic physician Dr. Amit Sood actually likes to be conscious of how little time we have as a reminder not to waste it.

He counts the number of years until his daughter leaves for college, the number of holidays he is likely to have left with his parents.  And although this may seem maudlin to some, this motivates him to enjoy every moment in the present.

Surveys show that people in hospice at the end of life never wish that they had worked hours of work, or pursued earning a higher salary.  They wish that they had more time for families, friends, experiences and dealing with life’s ups and downs.

Focus on living every day to the fullest because living to 100 doesn’t replace living 100% using the healthy “fear” of not living the life that we have this moment.