The moment we let even a little doubt into our mind that we can’t achieve what we set out to do, it grows.

If we keep injecting how we’re going to “kill it”, make it happen and expect success, we are paving the way.

The worst kind of sabotage is to be perfectly capable and allowing self-doubt to linger in your mind.

Confidence is not a feeling, it’s a choice.

Yes is the word you want to say the most.

Yes, I can.

Yes, I will.

Yes, I will believe in myself before everyone else does.

Yes, I will meet any challenge that matters to me.

Yes, I am fine just the way I am and it’s time to recognize it.

Embrace and accept the fine person you are.

Gaslighting is an increasingly popular tactic to get someone to doubt their reality and memory.

Some of gaslighting’s greatest hits are:

• “You’re making things up.”
• “That never happened.”
• “You’re being dramatic.”
• “You’re blowing things out of proportion.”

What to say when someone is gaslighting you according to therapist Alyssa “Lia” Mancao:

• “My feelings and reality are valid. I don’t appreciate you telling me that I am being too sensitive.”
• “Don’t tell me how to feel; this is how I feel.”
• “I am allowed to explore these topics and conversations with you. Do not tell me I am being dramatic.”
• “I know what I saw.”
• “I will not continue this conversation if you continue to minimize what I am feeling.” (Then, implement the boundary.)

A new study examined over 21,000 Americans to find the right amount of free time to make life happier.

As free time increased, well-being also went up — to a point — and leveled off at about two hours and started to decrease after five.

And entire days free may leave us unhappy contrary to what we think.

When people find themselves with too much time due to leaving a job, retirement or a less challenging lifestyle and career, finding a new purpose in life helps put that found time to work in a positive way.

All of this may be why when you want to get something done, give it to a busy person to do.

Think about this – you would not go to a child’s soccer game and tell them everything they are going to do that day will not be good enough.

Trying to be the best is a worthy goal, but looking for ways to never be good enough is self-sabotage.

When I was a professor at USC, I had a student come to me after class and ask what he could do to earn a better grade because his father was not happy with the A that he was working on.

The most useless thing we can do to ourselves is to be our own chief critic.

There are enough critics in our lives.

Start by being a true believer and everything else will fall into place.

“There are only two days in the year that nothing can be done. One is called Yesterday and the other is called Tomorrow. Today is the right day to Love, Believe, Do and mostly Live.” – Dalai Lama

There’s no way you can make something that hurts all of a sudden feel good.

In the meantime, the psychological Tylenol for the pain and hurts in our lives is simple.

Stay busy.

Crowd out as much hurt as possible doing as much good for yourself as possible.

An extra-strength pain reliever is to do as much good as possible for someone else.

Focusing on others when we hurt not only relieves the pain but gives us a chance to put things into perspective.  Gratitude is the killer of pain so get busy and be as appreciative as possible for what you have.

Time eventually heals but staying busy is what you do in the meanwhile.

I can’t hit a homerun every time I am at bat, the best player in the world failed 6 out of 10 times, even Tom Brady lost a Super Bowl to Nick Foles, every doctor doesn’t make her patient better, all relationships don’t work, careers always have highs and lows … the list goes on.

Tomorrow will be better, new opportunities that I can’t see await, fine people will come into my life that I cannot foresee, heredity is less than one-fourth of my fate, life is in my hands, if I believe in me others will follow, luck is a residue of design, out of bad comes good.

As the song goes “along with the sunshine, there’s gotta be a little rain sometime”.

 You can’t fix the past.

Just learn from it.

And apply what you’ve learned to the future.

Living in the past is useless.

Repeating mistakes in the future is flying blind.

Every lesson gleaned from what could have been gets you closer to what still can be.

A friend just discovered that they were not going to get the career opportunity they wanted.

It wasn’t personal.

Just business and the company still loved them and wanted them to stay.

Rejection never feels good in spite of the kind words.

So now what?

Stay rejected or as Aretha Franklin sang in “(You Make Me Feel Like) A Natural Woman”:

“When my soul was in the lost and found
You came along to claim it”

There is nothing wrong unless you believe the premise of the rejection.

Try again because you’re not defeated until you quit.