Nike said “Just Do It” as a means of encouraging people to participate.

“Get It Done” means for all the team planning, study and collaboration, the most successful individual will be the one who actually makes the plans happen.

That’s who you want to be.

The one who follows through.

Who doesn’t lose site of the goal.

Who seeks solutions to problems that crop up along the way.

Here are the qualities of successful people that are often underestimated:

1. The ability to win the cooperation of others
2. Being the one who gets the project done

As the world becomes more consolidated and even robotic, these two skills will always assure that you are in demand.

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No words spoken by another can be as damaging as the words we repeat over and over in our head that are critical.

Success is passed over and often forgotten – even major accomplishments.

Somehow it is easier for most people to be critical of themselves than it is to be appreciative.

There is no need for an inner critic.

No way we should be our own worst enemy.

Those little voices of self-doubt that affect confidence.

Have you ever heard someone say to you, “Give me constructive criticism.”?  I want it.

A better response is: ”What do you think you’ve done well and what can you do better”.

Balance the quest for perfection with an appreciation of accomplishment.

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Stop that feeling in its tracks.

Employers are frequent culprits of running down employee’s self-worth but even friends and relatives do it often out of jealousy.

Often our jobs are our main focus so when we’re not appreciated at work, we really take it to heart.

The most important judge of your self-worth is you.

Let someone else get into your head with negative input and you’re giving too much power to a person who doesn’t deserve it.

Look into your own soul – what are your strong traits and what needs to be worked on.

When people tear down others, they are weak.

When they help build, they are strong.

Letting people record unfair criticism directly into your subconscious mind is the definition of self-destruction.

The negative message will repeat over and over again doing its damage.

Only you get to deliver messages to your subconscious.

Positive statements that when they repeat will improve your self-esteem not ruin it.

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Our friend Cadillac Jack is a fabulous dj who recently discovered he has stage four colon cancer.

I have a subscriber who underwent brain surgery to remove a tumor and the radio station he worked for would not assure him that his job would be waiting for him if he beats the “Big C”.

A friend dealing with anxiety that controls her life.

Another person suffering from opioid or alcohol addiction that can’t seem to turn it around.

People need hope.

No, they CRAVE hope.

And whether we are that person or it is someone close to us, the one mission we have is not to play doctor or psychologist.

Give large doses of hope. 

Hope is not blue skies. It is positive feedback that things will get better.

The author Norman Cousins was left for dead by his doctors who said he had a one in 500 chance of surviving connective tissue disease.

He took matters into his own hands and commenced taking large doses of vitamin C and tried to lose himself in laughter by watching funny movies.

Cousins lived another 26 years surviving yet another disease in a life that only he believed he would have.

The prescription for dealing with challenging health issues is to take large doses of hope around the clock.

It’s the best medicine.

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You hear more complaints than ever about haters, self-absorption, distraction and how negative life in the digital and social media age is becoming.

Can you name the person in your life who you never get tired of and who puts a smile on your face when you talk?

That person may have positivity in their DNA – the very thing we’re all attracted to but don’t get enough of.

We can be that person if we’re willing to take a few steps:

Greet people as if you are enormously happy to see them.

Focus on them, not you.  No weighing in with your reaction to everything they share. 

Acknowledge their pains and problems but always offer hope – humans need to have hope and if you provide it, you will not only be liked but be loved.

Interact with them not when you need something but out of friendship – just checking in.

Talk in terms of their interests not yours and don’t be surprised if they will return the favor.

To be liked is not about how funny you are or how successful.

Nor is it about how many friends you have accumulated.

To be liked, you must be that one person who can put your own needs aside for the sake of another.

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Bad moods can spread by a process known as “social contagion”.

If someone else is in ill humor, you and those around them can also pick it up.

If any one of us is in a bad mood we can easily be contagious to the moods of others.

An examination of public health statistics also shows that helplessness and loss of interest can also be passed from one to another although not enough to influence depression.

The more people around you who are in a bad mood, the more chance you will catch it.

On the other hand, the happier people are that you are around, the better the chance that you will be happy.

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When we’re emotional or when our button is pushed, we react.

When we take even a few seconds to think and absorb what we’ve heard, we can respond.

Responding is preferable over reacting even though most of us react to things all day long.

A text message response is pounded out as an immediate reaction.  Same for email and social media.

Because we have the ability to communicate without having to think about what we’re saying, we’re doomed to reacting.

I knew a person who before the digital age, took out note paper every time he was angry with someone and in handwriting poured his feelings onto a piece of paper.

He then addressed it, sealed it and put it in the top drawer of his desk.

He told me that the next day when he reached in to mail it, he never sent the note that was his first reaction.  Instead, it went into the trash.

Today’s challenge is to respond thoughtfully instead of react emotionally.

And before today is over you will get many chances to practice.

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Leaving a person out hurts.

It doesn’t matter whether it is a team project at work or a social activity with friends.

If you’re left out, the human tendency may be to strike back or say something that still won’t make you feel better.

A better solution is to not adopt this losing formula as part of your human relations tools.

If it happens a lot or causes anxiety, perhaps another friend would be a better investment.

When you feel slighted by a friend on numerous occasions, that friend should not hold that power over you.  Move on.

Every chance you get, make it your business to include others at work and in your life.

People who bring others together never suffer from a shortage of good friends.

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When you say you will do something and do it, you care.

You care when you give the gift of your time focused on someone who needs you.

Not giving advice means you care about the importance of another’s individuality.

Expressing love even if it isn’t in words is a powerful display of caring.

Being there at a difficult time.

Staying in touch – in person or with the sound of your voice on the phone means you care.

An unexpected text message.

Including someone in your group or activity.

Anything that says I will give to you without you asking means you really care.

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Be content with what you have.

Wishing for something and getting it brings short-lived happiness to where you may not even want it any longer.

It’s great to know what you want but getting it does not always translate into happiness.

That’s why the rich and powerful often don’t have enough to satisfy them.

The trick is cultivating an attitude to be happy with what you have.

It’s fine to dream, plan for the future and want more, but not until we can be happy with what is in our lives now.

Don’t always ask for something wondering what surprises may come your way.

Your first job that made you so happy at first may not have been the one that you were meant to have but never even thought about.

The person you thought you were destined to be with often isn’t the person you never saw waiting in the wings to become part of your life.

Wanting more money often leads to more work and less satisfaction.

Don’t always ask for what you think you want.

Be happy with what you have.

And be docile to what life surprises us with that can bring long term happiness.

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Smiling is a potent weapon.

I have received many comments from readers after writing about the power of a smile.

We’re lost in our digital devices.

Guarded.

To gain the edge, try smiling.

Smile at the first 20 people you see each day – even those you don’t know.  It is very difficult for someone to receive a broad, sincere smile and not return it.

Be aware of how good you feel when you can simply flash a smile and make others feel good.

There is no need to talk – just smile.

This changes the pathways in our brain and because we change our approach, others are less reluctant to appear friendly and engaging.

It works with spouses and families – a simple smile.

So when your child seems remote, instead of picking at why they are not happy, why not offer up a smile?

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The cool new iPhones are not going to make it any easier to win the battle on smartphone addiction.

It’s mind vs. making up your mind.

There are things that work.

Move all social media apps, the ones that lure us into the attention black hole, into a folder on the third screen. 

Ban notifications to gain more control. 

Respond to emails when you want to not when you receive them. Most people will never know and not complain.

Avoid the multitasking that is made easier on each new iteration of mobile software.  

150 times a day on average we check our phones.

On the 10-year anniversary of the iPhone that started our mobile connection, balance supersedes immediacy.

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Lots of money is spent in search of changing ourselves.

Books, lectures, professional counseling …

Changing yourself for someone else is a losing game.

A better approach is empowering yourself to be exactly the person you want to be.

Chasing after people who would have you change the person you are is a waste of time, energy and self-respect.

Make improvements as needed.

Everything good that happens to us happens when we remain in touch with who we want to be and not endlessly trying to please others.

Ironically, we fix ourselves by being more of ourselves.

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When we get pushed, it’s a natural reaction to push back.

Revenge is overrated.

But the more we get back at someone no matter how much it may be deserved, the more like them we become.

The best revenge is to go on with life.

Years ago, a radio trade publication printed a rumor that the one I owned was going to go out of business. I was beside myself answering calls from subscribers, advertisers and onlookers denying the false report.

A friend of mine, Malcolm Rosenberg, counseled me to keep publishing and never miss a deadline. Soon everyone would know that their reports were not credible.

Going on instead of getting back at them made all the difference.

They were the ones who eventually went out of business and we survived.

Resist revenge.

Replace it with a renewed will to go on as if the words had never been said.

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Jake Olson has been blind since he was 12.

He always dreamed of playing football for USC.

And in early September, his dream came true.

A teammate helped guide him on the field to snap the ball for the extra point.  The official tapped him when the clock started.

Olson had cancer in his eyes and on the night before he underwent surgery that would make him blind forever, he watched a USC practice.

The team adopted him as a type of mascot but without his deep desire to “see” his dream come true and the help of those around him, the magic moment would have never arrived.

Never stop dreaming – ever.

Never believe that anything is impossible.

More damaging than even the loss of eyesight is the loss of the will to go on and achieve.

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We feel out of control when we agree to do something that our intuition tells us we don’t want to do.

Peer pressure.

The helplessness of being forced to carry out duties our employer requires without our input.

Bullies invading our space.

Those close to us who give and take away approval to gain control.

Our minds and bodies know when we are straying from the person we want to be.

The feeling of helplessness results.

Resentment and a feeling of being powerless.

We know deep inside that we could not make ourselves this conflicted without the help of others.

When we know we’re off track, no is an option.

Start looking for new employment.

Separate from people who bully or control.

Break co-dependencies by being your own best advocate.

No is the answer to anyone who somehow makes us feel not good about ourselves.

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The Philadelphia Eagles traded 37-year old Joe Dorenbos to the New Orleans Saints a week before his physical discovered a life-threatening genetic aneurysm.

If a younger player had not won his Eagles job this summer’s training camp …

If he had not been traded (he never played for another team and was very popular in Philly …

If his trade didn’t require an extensive physical enough to discover his large aortic aneurysm that was missed in previous years …

That’s fate.

Life is not just about being at the wrong place at the wrong time or being at the right place at the right time.

Along with faith, luck and perseverance life is a complex balance of that which we can control and that which we cannot control.

Often it is life changing in a positive way.

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I brought my car to Costco to have them put nitrogen in the tires.

A young man named Vinny did the work very well and in conversing with him he said how much he liked working for Costco (great to hear).

That he was just transferred into automotive and likes to work in the shop.

But upon further investigation, Vinny also was considering nursing school.

Nursing or autos, I thought.  How opposite.

And there it was – the dilemma many of us struggle with when we are searching for our calling in life.

Often it’s about money.

Or we pick a business that fascinates us.

But in the end when I pressed Vinny as to which one it is likely to be for him, he said “I don’t really know – something where I can help people”.

When searching for what we are meant to do, it is often necessary to look beyond careers and search for the part of us that is itching to be discovered.

It’s a feeling from within not a job search.

The career we will decide upon will be our calling if we first satisfy our inner need to be fulfilled as a person.

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Why do we do this to ourselves?

Why do we allow others direct access to our psyche to say unedited things that could be hurtful?

Then why do we repeat them over and over as if they were true?

And why do we invite others to continue berating us when it is so easy to say – STOP.

People become co-dependent to others when they allow them to say hurtful things as if they are to be accepted as the truth.

Most people beat themselves up because they have a lack of self-confidence or self-respect that acts as a protective barrier.

Never let anyone have direct access to your mind – even with good things because should they someday take them away, you remain damaged.

Beating yourself up can be replaced by talking yourself up by taking control.

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If you’re human, you will experience rejection.

The question is how can you absorb the sting of being rejected?

1. Don’t take rejection personally. That power remains with you.  If you refuse to make the feeling of being rebuffed about you as a person, it is easier to prevent damage to your ego.
2. Remind yourself that even the most successful and respected people have been rejected –  some of them publicly.  Steve Jobs had Apple Computer stolen away from him by the man he hired to run it.  Jobs returned and until his death the rest is history.
3. Being rejected and overcoming it makes you a better person to manage others because you are sensitive to it.
4. Have the attitude of a baseball player who just struck out– I’ll do better next time.

Rejection is not permanent unless you choose to make it so.

It’s just a bump in the road that eventually makes you a better person for dealing with it and overcoming it.

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