The fastest and most effective way not to play in to someone else’s drama is to postpone judging what you hear when they are speaking (or overreacting).

People who obsessively focus on themselves and their wants, needs and lives react instead of respond and who incite that special part of our brain that makes us do the exact same thing.

We are then held hostage by a person who is out of control.

When someone challenges you, think to yourself “It must feel awful to be that unsure of yourself”.  Or if a person makes it all about them, think “This poor soul is really needy.  I don’t like it when I feel needy”.

That’s when freedom comes.

Freedom from the histrionics of others, from disturbing and hurtful exchanges of text messages, emails or thoughts. 

When the conversation is all about the other person, postpone judgment on what they are saying – even if only for one second if that is all you can muster – and decide to relate to what is making the other person beg for such attention.

Do this and you are less likely to be drawn into selfish exchanges that ruin relationships.

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