NASA Astronaut Mark Kelly spent 340 days in space and had plenty of time to think about loneliness.

His advice.

Keep a journal.

Stick to a schedule.

Go outside (not easy for an astronaut in space).

Get a hobby.

People who are constantly around others are also lonely and we haven’t even begun to know the consequences of “social distancing” which is now an accepted term in our vocabulary when we probably meant “physical distancing”.

In 2018, a year ahead of the pandemic, Cigna did a survey that discovered 54% of the 20,000 people they surveyed reported feeling lonely.

A year later that number rose to 61% with 18-22 year-old members of Gen Z feeling the loneliest.

Astronaut Kelly’s article on his time in space is here.

Just weeks after Apple made active a new feature that allows users to opt out of ad tracking, only 4% are choosing to allow Facebook, Google and others to invade their privacy.

So, it turns out people really care about being watched in a world that has cameras everywhere.

Steve Jobs said “Privacy means people know what they’re signing up for, in plain language, and repeatedly.”

Seth Godin calls it “Permission Marketing”.

To individuals it is the courtesy of asking first and assuming nothing.

If there is a lesson watching big tech companies scramble to force users to let them be tracked, it might be that “asking first” for anything is what people really want.

A new study from Denmark concludes that children who grow up near green spaces may have a lower risk of developing ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder).

Less green means more chance of developing ADHD in early childhood.

One advantage of the pandemic is that families rediscovered each other, did simple outdoor things together and most importantly, spent time away from their mobile devices.

We’re going to recover from the pandemic – it’s happening now.

But will we recover from the all-encompassing world of social media, connectivity and self-imposed social isolation.

They say before you can change a habit you have to replace it with a better one and now there’s evidence that experiencing the green of outdoors is a step in the right direction.

I have no need to be respected by people I don’t respect.

Chasing after their approval is a fool’s errand.

A better use of time is to build respect from yourself, the other type will follow.

Discussions are always better than arguments, because an argument is to find out who is right and a discussion is to find out what is right” – Buddha.

One of my DayStarter readers, Henry Harrison, sent this along because it’s popular today to use the phrase “we need to have a conversation about that”.

It is just as important to make that conversation a learning experience for all and not an exercise about who will eventually prevail.

When the coach of an NHL hockey team was asked at a post-game conference what he thought of his goaltender’s big mistake that cost the team the game, he did not fall for the bait.

Instead of criticizing the player, this coach said the goal was probably one that his goaltender probably would have wanted back.

Direct criticism has the effect of firing up the instinct to defend ourselves.

But indirect criticism like the words of this coach allow those being criticized to be less defensive and more willing to listen.

I don’t know about you but 20 years ago when I finished my work during the week, I had the weekend off.

I never opened my laptop – in fact, rarely took it out of my bag.

Today life is more complicated – if you turn off digital communication, you will certainly have to deal with it later.  If you leave it on, you’re always on.

The reason we like vacations is because they force us to change our routines, to simplify them and give us a break from all the things that accumulate in our lives that weigh us down.

While we can’t have a vacation every day, we can adopt the vacation attitude – change the routine if only in a minor way, find a different way to work.  The great WLS Program Director John Gehron takes pictures on his different walks to work in Chicago.

There’s a vacation in Hawaii and then there’s a vacation from every day hum drum that keeps us balanced with always being on.

One of the things I liked about being on-the-air in radio and television was that being on was always exciting but there was also a definite ending.

In TV, a countdown to clear.

In radio, the transition to the next song, show or content element.

In the busy digital age, we’re always on – there doesn’t seem to be a beginning because we are always in motion and there is never an end to what we do.

To me, life is a like a show – when it’s on give it 100% and when it’s over, walk away, relax, enjoy and get ready for another day.

Just saying you are is a powerful reminder.

Life happens in digital quickness, we’re up, we’re down, we’re stressed and distracted but at the end of the day why do often feel not good enough.

Never rely on someone else to make that decision.

Just showing up for life, handling its challenges and facing adversity makes us good enough – anything else is just ego.

When I was program director of a Philadelphia radio station, I raided the prize closet and brought some portable radios (this is before iPhones and iPods) to give to arthritic children at Moss Rehabilitation Center.

I can remember it as if it was yesterday –  Christmas Eve, I was very tired and had all I could do to make the appearance that had been requested of my wife  – she worked there.

The kids were on what looked like skateboards racing up and down the hallways because it was difficult if not impossible for them to move around unassisted and without pain.

Before my visit ended, the nurses put their young patients in bed and I visited one by one to hand each of them a little radio courtesy of our station – they were delighted (of course, I showed them how to tune in to the best station).  They hugged me and were so grateful for something that many of us take for granted because a radio could bring them the world.

Suddenly I was no longer tired.  The children got the radios but I got the gift – the best and most meaningful Christmas that I have ever had.

P.S., our station gave away tens of thousands of dollars-worth of prizes each year to get listeners to fill in their diaries and increase our ratings but this relatively minor requisition was the best investment we ever made.

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In my NYU Music in the Media Business class, our focus is —  it’s just as important to make a life as it is to make a living.

God knows these young folks are going to be successful in their careers post-college and we want to make sure they are just as successful at finding happiness.

I thought you might be interested in one of the most popular Dale Carnegie principles they commit to work on during their semester.

Fill your Mind with Thoughts of Peace, Courage, Health, and Hope

Because what we think about matters.

And by visualizing peace, courage, health and hope, it is easier to battle anxiety, lack of confidence, the emotional price we pay for stress and the loss of hope.

It is possible to change the daily diet of destructive thoughts that plague all of is at this moment in time.

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Arthur Brooks does great writing for The Atlantic on the process of happiness – note that I say process because if we expect happiness to visit us rapidly, it may feel like a long wait.

“There is an old joke about a man who asks God every day to let him win the lottery. After many years of this prayer, he finally gets an answer from heaven: ‘Do me a favor,’ says God. ‘Buy a ticket.’ If you want happiness, reflecting on why you don’t have it and seeking information on how to attain it is a good start. But if you don’t use that information, you’re not buying a ticket.”

Like everything else in life, a plan is required otherwise even happiness is just an accident.

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There is no such thing as good advice.

Even when someone outwardly asks for advice, they really don’t want it – they want to listen instead.

A better question:  “tell me more”.

Gathering information from all sources – those jaded and with a secret motive to those who want you to do what worked for them – can be helpful.

You are always the decider which means outsourcing your ability to make a decision to anyone else even if they seem to be or claim to be more knowledgeable is useless.

It’s essentially one-third filling and sounds great.

A new McGill University study indicates music can be as addictive as fast food, alcohol or money.

And it’s hard to overdose on it, does not require a prescription and perhaps I am not telling anyone what they don’t already know except this.

Use only as directed every day, every time you want to improve a mood or steady your feelings.  Other studies indicate music can relieve depression.

Sometimes we look too far for something that is right next to our ears – that firing up the neurons in our brain can create happiness and dousing these same neurons can make us  feel down.

For the most trying times in history you can find political leaders who met the challenge which is why they are often referred to as great.

On the Republican side, there was Lincoln.  FDR for Democrats – it’s true here and worldwide that hard times breed successful people.

It’s also true in our everyday lives.

A rough patch is often a chance to shine when challenges are met.

A crisis is never the end, it’s always the beginning for those who meet them.

How long we continue battling tells us how badly we want to succeed.

If we can change the way we look at bad luck, hard times and while overwhelming, we will see instead an opportunity to shine.

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Can we agree that the words “no” and “can’t” litter our lives in a negative way?

Changing “no” to “yes” can be transformative.

“No” is best useful when used to defend boundaries otherwise “yes” can be empowering when we give ourselves permission to be optimistic instead of pessimistic, happy rather than sad and confident as opposed to uncertain.

If we are willing to become more aware of when we say or hear the word “no”, change will follow.

There is a direct connection between the reducing the number of times we say or accept the word “no” every day and increased confidence.

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There’s a new dental study from Israel that illustrates in another way the high price people pay for owning a smartphone.

• 54% wake up in the middle of the night compared to 20% who use a phone without an internet connection.

• Half feel a moderate to high degree of stress due to a cellphone and 22% without internet.

• The fear of missing out (FOMO) drives the addiction to social media.

Here are some useful ways to take control from the Center for Humane Technology. 

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It almost seems that we’re beginning to identify ourselves by our COVID vaccines.

I’m J&J, you’re Pfizer?

You see it on social media or perhaps someone asks – which vaccine did you get?

Some people identify by political persuasion and wear it proudly.

Beyond vaccines, how do you self-identify?

Mother, business executive, friend, son, problem-solver.

All are best worn proudly.

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Confidence is perishable.

Without food the body dies.

Without confidence dreams die and self-esteem withers away.

When things are going great, we seem to have an abundance of confidence.

But when they’re not, we become starved for it and the harder we try to get more, it eludes us.

That’s why confidence ebbs and flows and is best fed with positive thoughts of past accomplishments and future successes.

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One of Seth Godin’s best books is Permission Marketing, a term he uses as a type of advertising that allows the consumer to opt-in to receiving promotional messages.

Happiness could take a page from Godin’s concept because it is available to all of us every day and yet it requires a similar opt-in.  We can reject it, remain unhappy, discouraged, without hope or we can choose a more productive path.

Opting-in is the key.

Harold Kushner wrote a book called When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough in which he mentioned the useless pursuit of happiness.  Being docile to it – allowing it to happen – is key.  Kushner’s compared the chasing happiness to trying to catch a butterfly – the more you chase it, the more it evades you but when you allow it to land, it is yours to enjoy.

Happiness is not an entitlement.  It’s a choice.

If this resonates with you, feel free to forward to others.