One of the things I liked about being on-the-air in radio and television was that being on was always exciting but there was also a definite ending.

In TV, a countdown to clear.

In radio, the transition to the next song, show or content element.

In the busy digital age, we’re always on – there doesn’t seem to be a beginning because we are always in motion and there is never an end to what we do.

To me, life is a like a show – when it’s on give it 100% and when it’s over, walk away, relax, enjoy and get ready for another day.

Just saying you are is a powerful reminder.

Life happens in digital quickness, we’re up, we’re down, we’re stressed and distracted but at the end of the day why do often feel not good enough.

Never rely on someone else to make that decision.

Just showing up for life, handling its challenges and facing adversity makes us good enough – anything else is just ego.

When I was program director of a Philadelphia radio station, I raided the prize closet and brought some portable radios (this is before iPhones and iPods) to give to arthritic children at Moss Rehabilitation Center.

I can remember it as if it was yesterday –  Christmas Eve, I was very tired and had all I could do to make the appearance that had been requested of my wife  – she worked there.

The kids were on what looked like skateboards racing up and down the hallways because it was difficult if not impossible for them to move around unassisted and without pain.

Before my visit ended, the nurses put their young patients in bed and I visited one by one to hand each of them a little radio courtesy of our station – they were delighted (of course, I showed them how to tune in to the best station).  They hugged me and were so grateful for something that many of us take for granted because a radio could bring them the world.

Suddenly I was no longer tired.  The children got the radios but I got the gift – the best and most meaningful Christmas that I have ever had.

P.S., our station gave away tens of thousands of dollars-worth of prizes each year to get listeners to fill in their diaries and increase our ratings but this relatively minor requisition was the best investment we ever made.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

In my NYU Music in the Media Business class, our focus is —  it’s just as important to make a life as it is to make a living.

God knows these young folks are going to be successful in their careers post-college and we want to make sure they are just as successful at finding happiness.

I thought you might be interested in one of the most popular Dale Carnegie principles they commit to work on during their semester.

Fill your Mind with Thoughts of Peace, Courage, Health, and Hope

Because what we think about matters.

And by visualizing peace, courage, health and hope, it is easier to battle anxiety, lack of confidence, the emotional price we pay for stress and the loss of hope.

It is possible to change the daily diet of destructive thoughts that plague all of is at this moment in time.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

Arthur Brooks does great writing for The Atlantic on the process of happiness – note that I say process because if we expect happiness to visit us rapidly, it may feel like a long wait.

“There is an old joke about a man who asks God every day to let him win the lottery. After many years of this prayer, he finally gets an answer from heaven: ‘Do me a favor,’ says God. ‘Buy a ticket.’ If you want happiness, reflecting on why you don’t have it and seeking information on how to attain it is a good start. But if you don’t use that information, you’re not buying a ticket.”

Like everything else in life, a plan is required otherwise even happiness is just an accident.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

There is no such thing as good advice.

Even when someone outwardly asks for advice, they really don’t want it – they want to listen instead.

A better question:  “tell me more”.

Gathering information from all sources – those jaded and with a secret motive to those who want you to do what worked for them – can be helpful.

You are always the decider which means outsourcing your ability to make a decision to anyone else even if they seem to be or claim to be more knowledgeable is useless.

It’s essentially one-third filling and sounds great.

A new McGill University study indicates music can be as addictive as fast food, alcohol or money.

And it’s hard to overdose on it, does not require a prescription and perhaps I am not telling anyone what they don’t already know except this.

Use only as directed every day, every time you want to improve a mood or steady your feelings.  Other studies indicate music can relieve depression.

Sometimes we look too far for something that is right next to our ears – that firing up the neurons in our brain can create happiness and dousing these same neurons can make us  feel down.

For the most trying times in history you can find political leaders who met the challenge which is why they are often referred to as great.

On the Republican side, there was Lincoln.  FDR for Democrats – it’s true here and worldwide that hard times breed successful people.

It’s also true in our everyday lives.

A rough patch is often a chance to shine when challenges are met.

A crisis is never the end, it’s always the beginning for those who meet them.

How long we continue battling tells us how badly we want to succeed.

If we can change the way we look at bad luck, hard times and while overwhelming, we will see instead an opportunity to shine.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

Can we agree that the words “no” and “can’t” litter our lives in a negative way?

Changing “no” to “yes” can be transformative.

“No” is best useful when used to defend boundaries otherwise “yes” can be empowering when we give ourselves permission to be optimistic instead of pessimistic, happy rather than sad and confident as opposed to uncertain.

If we are willing to become more aware of when we say or hear the word “no”, change will follow.

There is a direct connection between the reducing the number of times we say or accept the word “no” every day and increased confidence.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

There’s a new dental study from Israel that illustrates in another way the high price people pay for owning a smartphone.

• 54% wake up in the middle of the night compared to 20% who use a phone without an internet connection.

• Half feel a moderate to high degree of stress due to a cellphone and 22% without internet.

• The fear of missing out (FOMO) drives the addiction to social media.

Here are some useful ways to take control from the Center for Humane Technology. 

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

It almost seems that we’re beginning to identify ourselves by our COVID vaccines.

I’m J&J, you’re Pfizer?

You see it on social media or perhaps someone asks – which vaccine did you get?

Some people identify by political persuasion and wear it proudly.

Beyond vaccines, how do you self-identify?

Mother, business executive, friend, son, problem-solver.

All are best worn proudly.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

Confidence is perishable.

Without food the body dies.

Without confidence dreams die and self-esteem withers away.

When things are going great, we seem to have an abundance of confidence.

But when they’re not, we become starved for it and the harder we try to get more, it eludes us.

That’s why confidence ebbs and flows and is best fed with positive thoughts of past accomplishments and future successes.

If you liked this, feel free to share it.

One of Seth Godin’s best books is Permission Marketing, a term he uses as a type of advertising that allows the consumer to opt-in to receiving promotional messages.

Happiness could take a page from Godin’s concept because it is available to all of us every day and yet it requires a similar opt-in.  We can reject it, remain unhappy, discouraged, without hope or we can choose a more productive path.

Opting-in is the key.

Harold Kushner wrote a book called When All You’ve Ever Wanted Isn’t Enough in which he mentioned the useless pursuit of happiness.  Being docile to it – allowing it to happen – is key.  Kushner’s compared the chasing happiness to trying to catch a butterfly – the more you chase it, the more it evades you but when you allow it to land, it is yours to enjoy.

Happiness is not an entitlement.  It’s a choice.

If this resonates with you, feel free to forward to others.

A new study of children found that the strongest predictors of depression and anxiety are the perceptions that their parents are dissatisfied with them.

That feeling can be extended to adults as well – we’re all looking for approval and acceptance.

Now that the “Lost Year” is over and hope is beginning to replace despair, a thought for the day is find ways to say yes, to bolster and encourage others, to accept imperfections and replace them with hope.

Then, do the same thing for yourself.

If you liked this, feel free to forward to others.

If you assume that people think rationally, then you are likely to end up in an argument.

For difficult conversations, there are alternatives:

• The use of facts usually blows up in our face because humans don’t think rationally.
• When people feel threatened (and the facts can do that), they go into protection mode where ears close and mouths open (it’s actually a scientific fact that our brains essentially overheat).
• It’s more effective to skip trying to win the argument. Make it all about sharing information and asking (and listening) what the other person feels.
• Ask questions, don’t make statements. Communication of all types is fostered by those who learn to be skillful at asking questions and allowing others to see your point of view in their words not yours.

If you liked this, feel free to forward to others.

Most people don’t realize that success always happens if they don’t give up.

It never fails.

But we all have our number so the thing that determines whether we succeed or fail is how long we are willing to keep going to get to that number not how lucky we are.

Adversity truly teaches us what we are willing to go through to eventually prevail.

If you liked this, feel free to forward to others.

“The General Social Survey, which has been measuring social trends among Americans every one or two years since 1972, shows a long-term, gradual decline in happiness—and rise in unhappiness—from 1988 to the present.” – Atlantic author Arthur C. Brooks.

Among Brooks’ observations:

• We don’t get happier as society gets richer because we chase the wrong things.
• We can resist advertising’s power over our minds: “Next time you are presented with the claim that this or that product will make you happy, channel your inner monk, and say five times, out loud: “This will not bring me satisfaction.”
• “Government cannot bring happiness, but it can eliminate the sources of unhappiness” according to former speaker of the Danish Parliament Mogens Lykketoft – Danish people are among the world’s happiest.
• The world encourages us to love thingsand use people. But that’s backward.

Put this on your fridge and try to live by it: Love people; use things.

More here.

If you like this, feel free to forward to others.

When the need to be heard is greater than the need to hear, communication has hit pause.

Talking more is communicating less.

That’s why meetings are dreaded except by those doing all the talking and why few can remember a lecture of any kind in which they have not first become engaged in the conversation.

Asking questions is the secret.

Listening to the responses will prompt more questions.

Not weighing in on your reaction to what you’re hearing is a top skill level.

And how do you know if you are becoming a better communicator?

How much of what you have just heard can you accurately remember?

The bar is low as we live in a talking culture so victory easily goes to the next person who tries.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

Pets give love first and have it returned as a result.

They don’t demand that we pet them, feed or walk them or cuddle up on a sofa with them – the act of love precedes the love itself they receive.

When a dog wags its tail in happiness, it is not that they are demanding love, it’s the opposite – they are excited because they are going to get love by first giving it.

We can learn a lot about life from our pets who don’t judge, don’t text while they are interacting with us and exist to make others happy.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.

As each day starts, we often have a game plan for how we are going to live it.

That is until others weigh in and try to influence or even live the lives of others.

Your very own personal life is like a canvas upon which you paint the picture of what you envision.

You wouldn’t let someone take your paint brush and commandeer your canvas to use their colors, their brush strokes and their design.

Our day today is very similar – it’s your canvas, no one gets to paint on it.

It’s not whether the final outcome is better or worse, it’s whether it is yours.

If this DayStarters has been forwarded to you by a friend, you can start receiving a new one every day here.