A lot of people won’t admit it, but here’s the truth: most of us are running on fumes — doing everything for everyone and wondering why nothing feels finished.  The real problem isn’t that we have too much to do.  It’s that we’ve stopped putting ourselves on the list.

Burnout researcher Christina Maslach confirms chronic stress comes from no recovery window, not from hard work itself.  Even a small bit of recovery time breaks the burnout cycle.  Research shows that even a small patch of protected time — ten minutes that actually belongs to you —  starts reversing the burnout pattern.

Author Etty Hillesum sums it up:  “Sometimes the most important thing in a whole day is the rest we take between two deep breaths.”  

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Every day starts with two choices: drag yesterday forward, or give today a clean slate. Most people never even notice they’re carrying the whole week on their back.

You get two options when the day begins: replay yesterday or rewrite today. Most people hit “repeat” without even knowing it.  People perform better when they perceive they are starting from a fresh slate — a new day, week, or goal.

Researchers say most morning stress isn’t today’s problem — it’s yesterday’s residue best dropped on the floor before you go to bed.

“Always we begin again” — St. Benedict

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We humans are tough – on ourselves.

Psychologist Tim Pychyl (Carleton University in Ottawa) and his procrastination research show people consistently misjudge their own progress by comparing themselves to imagined or idealized versions of themselves — not reality.

A 2020 study in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin finds people systematically overestimate how far behind others they are because they see only their own struggles but only others’ outcomes.

People feel “behind” because they compare their messy reality to everyone else’s highlight reel — a psychological distortion proven in multiple studies.

Or as Teddy Roosevelt said “Comparison is the thief of joy.”

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I know a 94-year-old man who is a priest and family counselor recently called back from New Jersey to Chicago where his Order is headquartered leaving behind many clients a thousand miles away.  But he’s not done.  Illnesses couldn’t stop him.  Moving away didn’t either as he conducts virtual sessions.  Oh, he’s going to be doing podcasts soon.

With him, it’s not about age as long as he feels able.  He told me he is going to die with his boots on – that, he never worries about the future because no one – even someone 80 years younger – can predict it.  And he dismisses the past because you really can’t live there.  It’s inspiring to see someone on a mission and deriving such joy from living in the now – today, this moment without regard to what the future may bring.

That attitude also helps us reduce anxiety and worry – because we have learned to get pretty good at solving problems, something many of us forget.

Time only works against you when you stop using it.

“You must live in the present, launch yourself on every wave, find your eternity in each moment.”  –Thoreau, Walden (1854)

People buy lottery tickets to outsource hope — it’s safer than betting on themselves.

Buying a ticket takes seconds. Betting on yourself takes time, work and consistency.  If the ticket loses, no shame. If you fail at something you tried, it feels personal. Lotteries give an immediate hit of anticipation. Personal goals pay off slowly.  Lottery odds are fixed. Life odds aren’t — people prefer certainty, even when it’s bad.

A losing ticket isn’t your fault. A personal setback feels like it is.  The lottery lets you dream without responsibility — betting on yourself doesn’t.

Of course, you can always make the odds better by choosing one small action you can control instead of a chance you can’t.

Leave it to a Roman philosopher (Seneca) to conclude:  “Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity.”

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When my daughter was young, she had a collection of Barbie dolls that she loved to play with along with dad – why me?  I provided the voices and personalities for half of her collection.  But today, companies like Curio are producing chatbot dolls that use WiFi to let AI do the talking.

These stuffed animals can run up to $100 and instead of encouraging play, they are replacing it.  Names like ChattyBear the A.I.-Smart Learning Plushie and Poe the A.I. Story Bear.  But I’m heartbroken to learn Mattel, maker of Barbie has entered into an agreement to let Open AI do the talking.

Once my daughter during a play wedding ceremony between Barbie and Ken, officiated by asking a question I guess she heard but didn’t understand:  “Do you take this man to be your awful wedded husband”.  I cracked up.  Not lawful wedded husband!

AI is either going to be the greatest thing that happened to civilization in 100 years or a big bust but it’s a warning that nothing can replace the human imagination.

As film producer Joss Whedon says “The nice thing about human beings is that they just go ahead and make up stories and that’s what we have always done.”

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If you could visit the farmer’s market with me every week, you would see me stand over the string bean bin and hand pick each — one at a time.  I learned this from watching my mother as a child.

Why do you think they called them string beans?  They’re not always tender. Now, they are green beans.  Who knew?  Even when the farmers tell me in advance that the beans are tender – I still buy only the hand-picked ones I have dug through.

In a way I make friends the same way – welcoming all, choosing the ones that feel just right — careful, deliberate.

As Oprah put it:  “I am very careful about the people I choose to be close to. I pick my friends the way I pick my vegetables—one at a time, and only the very best.”

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In the Inner Game of Golf, Timothy Gallwey assures players that when they lose confidence in their putting, it’s okay to switch putters.  It’s not necessarily the science behind it, just the keen understanding of humans that sometimes we should try something new.

The great radio program director John Gehron who famously dominated Chicago airwaves with his programming, often takes a different walk to work – sometimes delighting the rest of us with photos of what he discovers.  John posted this note with a glorious picture:  “The 4th Presbyterian Church on Michigan Avenue is where we were married. Walked by the other day during the week and the doors were open for visitors.”

Sometimes the best discoveries aren’t new at all — they’re just waiting for us to notice. A small detour. A new tool. A fresh way of seeing what’s always been there.

That’s the inner game: the courage to change something, and let it change us back.

From educator Jessie Potter to Henry Ford the insanity of doing the same things over and over is encapsulated in this:  “If you always do what you’ve always done, you’ll always get what you’ve always got.” 

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Phillies Hall of Fame slugger Mike Schmidt’s most famous quote about Phillies fans reveals a complex relationship but he had an odd way of crediting them with helping drive him to greatness, stating, “Philly fans helped drive me”.

“Philadelphia is the only city, where you can experience the thrill of victory … and the agony of reading about it the next day”.

It makes you wonder: do we sometimes steal our own joy, downplaying our triumphs before anyone else can? Maybe the real work isn’t just winning — it’s learning to celebrate what we’ve earned. Before we rush to the next challenge, we should fight to hold onto the thrill of what we’ve already conquered.

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I watched a Flyers game against the mighty Edmonton Oilers the other night – it was close until the Flyers scored a goal within the last 30 seconds to win 2 to 1 – the coaches high-fived each other and the players on the bench were jubilant except, they didn’t win the game.

One of their players was offside and the goal was taken back.  The game went to overtime and the Flyers were the ones to lose 2 to 1.  Often, the celebration begins too early in life for whatever reason and a win sometimes turns into a loss.  The Flyers coach said he was proud of his players.

But there’s something strangely useful about moments like that. They remind us of how fast things can flip — and how quickly we can recover, reset, and take another shot. The goal didn’t count, but the energy was real. Sometimes the near-win is what sharpens you for the one that actually sticks.

As Baltimore Orioles manager Earl Weaver said back in the day “The moment you think you’ve got it made, you’ve made a big mistake.”

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