I used to work at Sears in West Philadelphia when I was 16 – sporting goods.

One day unbeknownst to me, I was “shopped” by a Sears manager who was an older person with white hair who said she was looking to buy a tent to take her grandson camping.  She kept moving toward the more expensive tents and I kept trying to save her money with the economy model (it was, after all, their first outing).

She turned me in and I wound up behind the hot dog snack bar as my punishment.  Once I served my penance, I was returned to sporting goods whereas Britney Spears would say, “Oops… I did it again”.  Back to the snack bar.

You would think I’d learn my lesson and get out of sales, but after a career on the air in radio and TV I was interviewed by a TV news consulting firm that liked my programming talent but hired someone else who could sell.  He quit after six months and they offered it to the runner up – me!  I said no.

In business I learned to sell by being persistent and authentic – it worked and I often wonder what would have happened if I had let any of these unfortunate experiences do me in.

So, I’m writing to say the game is not over until you say it is.

NFL iconic coach Vince Lombardi was right “It’s not whether you get knocked down, it’s whether you get up.” 

Maybe sharing this would make someone’s day.

 In college, students get to grade their teachers after each semester.  Do you want to know what they like in increasing numbers about my classes (you’ll note, I’m not including what they don’t like).  Still …

That no digital devices are allowed in class – no phones, pads or laptops (yes, I resist the plea “but I’m taking notes”).  This is such a big deal that I’m writing about it after the just-concluded spring semester – thanks for not letting us get distracted.

Their phones are off and out of sight because research shows even if a phone is close by and off, we will keep checking it as if it’s still on.

This begs the question what if we set new rules and stuck by them when it comes to digital distraction – I’m betting that others will also appreciate it.

One of their biggest complaints is with mom and dad – “they’re always on their phones” is something I hear a lot.

But it’s one thing to silence digital devices and quite another to replace it with the number one thing that always wins – time focused on you.

Sherry Turkle is an MIT professor who sounds like she agrees:  “When you remove the screen, you uncover the person.” 

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It used to be that when we said we were worried to death we meant we were working ourselves to death.

Now the meaning is becoming broader – we’re still getting tired but more from adding worry on top of worry.

The facts are that what we are actually worried about will never happen and on the chance that it does, it doesn’t happen the way we fear.  Still, you can’t negotiate with worry.  It simply breeds more.

One of the best ways is to schedule a worry appointment for a half an hour a week – you pick the day and time.  Every worry that comes up at another time is pushed off until then.  Refuse to get anxious about it.  Tuesday from 8:30-9pm sounds good.

The reason it works so well is because often delaying our anxiety helps provide clarity and even when it doesn’t, it adds discipline to put a stop/loss on worry.

One of the leading experts in cognitive therapy Dr. Robert Leahy says:  “Schedule your worry time. Don’t let it schedule you.”

Feel free to share.

Real human connection is migrating from Facebook, Instagram and other social media platforms to WhatsApp, Discord and group chats. These are the cool, quiet corners of the internet where there’s no algorithm, no brand-building, no pressure to perform.

It’s not so much a tech obituary as it is a cultural reckoning — a retreat from public performance toward private connection.  Users are burning out.  There’s a pushback from curating personas, chasing engagement, and pretending everything is fine.  Authentic expression has been replaced by algorithmic survival.

Social media platforms have strayed from their original promise of connection, community, and authenticity with the good news being real people are rediscovering ways to connect.

Jaron Lanier is an early critic of social media and his take is “We cannot have a society in which, if two people wish to communicate, the only way that can happen is if it’s financed by a third person who wishes to manipulate them.”

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Here’s what former general manager Bob Myers says about Golden State NBA basketball great Stephen Curry:

“I always told him I was so jealous of him.  Not the money, not the fame, but how happy he approaches each day.  That’s a skill, and that’s also leadership”.

The thing about happiness is you can’t think yourself into joy – you have to act it out even when you don’t feel like it.

My students sometimes ask why are you always in a good mood and I answer because I know I am going to be with you.  Sometimes we can overcome the pitfalls that come our way and affect our good nature.  But all that doesn’t take place in the mind alone – we have to act happy to be happy.

So starting the traditional beginning of summer with determination to lift the mood of others using enthusiasm and gratitude is something we can do by hitting the start button and not trying to overthink our way into it.

“The more you give to others, the more you get back — not just in success, but in joy. I’ve learned that bringing happiness to people around you brings purpose to everything you do.” – Steph Curry

Anyone can exceed the expectations of others.  It makes you a better friend, person and colleague.

People who somehow do a bit more, a bit sooner than others have that special sauce that makes them look and feel successful.  If you’ve ever wondered why few people meet their deadlines with a slew of excuses and even fewer exceed them, I’m with you.  Under promise, over deliver.

It’s not just college professors who hear excuses – this year’s most popular in my view is food poisoning.  It seems eating off those trucks on Manhattan streets is not conducive to stomach health.

We’re always looking for a way to distinguish ourselves from others in a busy, over-connected world and the answer is right there in front – exceed expectations and win the day.

Or as Atomic Habits author James Clear puts it:  “The best way to stand out is to quietly do more than anyone expects.”

I thought you would be interested in a college classroom discussion I had recently asking students to estimate how much time they spend on screens – four hours was the consensus.

But, upon afterthought, they started revising it – upward.

Then I came across a Statista figure from 2023 –– the average daily time spent with digital media in the United States was approximately 7 hours and 5 minutes and this includes activities such as using smartphones, computers, and other digital devices for various purposes like browsing the internet, using apps, and streaming content.

That’s 7 hours a day not being present — a figure that surprises nearly everyone.

As a result some students decided to shave back their social media time, some deleted Instagram or TikTok but most did not do anything about their constant texting.

We are addicted to screens but to what extent is it up to us and that thought is empowering.

Or as Anne Lamott says “Almost everything will work again if you unplug it for a few minutes… including you.”

In the final class of our NYU semester some seniors were rightfully concerned about finding a job in this economy but they were worrying about worry – they could name all the anxieties that were plaguing them.

In our stress-free living class, we emphasize gratitude as a cure for a lot of the psychological things that ail us.  It’s a different way of looking at things.  Your worries may not be as bad as someone else’s.

At the start of the semester, I asked each person to anonymously write down their three biggest worries – when the cards are shuffled and redistributed to someone else, everyone wants their own worries back (I have never had a time when anyone wanted to do a trade).

This doesn’t mean we like our problems, but it indicates we like them better than someone else’s.  It’s a reality check with benefits.

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Last week while visiting Phoenix I met a delightful Mayo Clinic technician who was so cheerful I had to do this — I asked her why she was so bubbly.  Her response:  I was diagnosed with colon cancer at 36 with three children, a single mom.

The process of facing her treatment and the uncertainty around it turned out to be a freeing thing for her – she says she never worries about a recurrence — she lives each day as if it was going to be her last day.

One benefit that she shared is that she works hard to balance her job as a tech with her role as a mom and her other interests.

It took something bad to bring so much good – just randomly meeting her reminded me that you don’t have to wait for a dire diagnosis to free yourself to live the life you really want.

As broadcaster and journalist John Diamond observed during his battle with throat cancer:

“Cancer is a word, not a sentence. Surviving it doesn’t just let you live — it teaches you how.”

Pass it along.

It takes 6 to 12 weeks of intentional effort to change the way you think and do things – a surprisingly quick time to refresh your attitude.

For anxiety, results can be seen in 4 to 8 weeks and meaningful improvement in 3-6 months.

This is a process not a quick fix.

One way is to schedule worry time – a short, specific day and time each week when fears and worry are dealt with – every other day, every hour other than that time is free and clear of the anxiety producing issues.

We often worry about worry – anxiety that we think about and then worry about and then enhance with another problem all without feeling better.

Writing it down, making a note on your phone and stashing it away until your scheduled worry day and time can relieve the pressure.

Schedule your worry, don’t let it schedule you.

Pass it along.