Subtracting Stress

  • For every new stressor that you can viscerally feel, eliminate one that you are already carrying around.
  • Finding one to let go of will not be easy because stress tends to pile onto other stresses but take a moment and identify one you could live without right now.
  • It may be one that has been hanging around too long and burdening you, or a new one that gives you anxiety.
  • For each new stressor life brings, subtract one and see how it is possible to live without it.

How Cancer Patients Find Happiness

  •  Instead of thinking about how time is flying by, they fill their minds with thoughts of all they can do to advance every new day.
  • I always had a hard time with this until I experienced those who were literally living day to day because of their precarious health issues.
  • If they can find anticipated happiness a day at a time, what’s our excuse?
  • It’s not the amount of time we spend, but the amount of time we spend focused on that which makes us happy.

Fear of Something New

  • To have enough confidence to take on something totally new, it helps to have a list of past successes to scroll through – on a piece of paper or on a phone.
  • High confidence is directly related to I.O.U.s that we collect from other successes both major and even minor.
  • Forgetting our successes leaves us worrying about the unknown challenge ahead – and for some reason humans remember mistakes more than successes.
  • If it’s worth 100% of your being, it’s likely you will overcome the fear of something new.

Keeping It 100

  • The courage to be you – speak your thoughts, defend healthy boundaries and safeguard your values.
  • But also, the confidence to respect others and hear them out showing them the respect you would want from them.

Not Getting What You Want

  • The benefit of not getting what you want – you worked hard for or simply desire – is that it forces you to decide just how badly you want it.
  • If you’re disappointed, hurt or discouraged but stay in pursuit, you must really want it.
  • If you’re able to accept defeat, then perhaps there is something else that is more important to you.
  • The gift of hearing no is how it helps us discover yes.

No More Disappointment

  • The sure way to never be disappointed is to keep your motivation high and expectations low.

Unlocking Power

  • In my NYU music business classes, we try to emphasize the importance of both making a life and a living and we’re concentrating on the untapped powers we all have.
  • The ability to lead – step forward and take a chance.
  • The power to make other people happy by being in our presence or as one learner said “when my eyes smile, they smile”.
  • The strength to enforce healthy boundaries and stop letting others make us feel badly about what we do.
  • Potential is already within; the challenge is to begin to use it.

Protecting the Lead

  • In sports, life’s teacher, we see again and again what happens when you get off to a great start only to be surprised by a person or event that can completely undo our progress.
  • The best way to protect a lead in any area of life is to press hard to continue doing what got you that lead – do not let down.
  • Play from behind as if you’re catching up not protecting what you’ve accomplished.
  • Success comes only when you’ve earned the entire victory not when you can only taste it.

Changing Minds

  • It’s hard to do because our beliefs are tied closely to our identity.
  • There are two things that almost everyone can agree on: hurting others is bad and trying to be fair is good.
  • And that attacking others because of their beliefs only makes them harden their position more.
  • A willing listener and a person schooled in good human relations skills is best suited to deal with views opposing theirs and keep the lines of communication open.

Breaking the Ice

  • My NYU music business students also practice human relations skills to give them a leg up on life and their careers.
  • This past week several reported to the class that they gathered up the courage to put themselves out there and break the ice with another person.
  • The result: feeling good about reaching out and making new friends (in one case, a promising new friend).
  • The power we all have within us to make a difference in our lives and those of others is when we channel the courage to go first.