Steve Jobs:  “Things get more refined as you make mistakes and do them.  So I’ve had a chance to make a lot of mistakes”.

Less time worrying about what could go wrong, more time trying to make things work right and if all else fails, experience is a positive outcome.

Forward DayStarters to friends and I’ll keep writing them

The year we lost in Covid, turning within, being present virtually, losing our social skills, dealing with angst, anger and self-exiled boredom.

It’s getting better there is no normal to return to, thank goodness.  If we have seen the worst in the past, get ready for the best in the future.

How?  Rediscover the fine person you are, don’t become anyone else, don’t let anyone else push you off course – never go back, always go forward with confidence and grace.

Forward DayStarters to friends and I’ll keep writing them

People play video games to practice killing avatars even if it is for fun.

But do we even spend that much time practicing being more human, more confident, happier?

Repetitive thinking helps train our brain.

If we take inventory of our time and find a little to spare for repetitive training, we can transform our attitude into one of positivity.

Even repeating one positive goal a day every day can change the way we think, feel and act.

What goal are you choosing today?

Forward DayStarters to friends and I’ll keep writing them

My friend Tom Taylor pointed me toward the Poet Henry Van Dyke for some really inspirational thoughts (excerpted here) this holiday season:

• “Are you willing to forget what you have done for other people, and to remember what other people have done for you”
• “..to ignore what the world owes you and to think what you owe the world”
• “to see that men and women are just as real as you are, and try to look behind their faces to their hearts, hungry for joy”
• “to close your book of complaints against the management of the universe, and look around you for a place where you can sow a fee seeds of happiness”

And with that, much joy, peace and confidence ahead in the new year – see you after the holidays!

Without a plan, it’s an accident.

Intention to make changes is not a plan.

What does it specifically look like to bring about a long overdue change?

That’s a plan.

If you want to be happier, spend money on experiences rather than things.

Things wear off but experiences can be relived over and over.

Try new things even if it isn’t like you to do so.

They say when you’re worried, get busy and focus on something other than yourself.

And when you’re searching for happiness, look to experiences over things to give you joy.

I was listening to Chaka Khan and Rufus’ song “Tell Me Something Good” the other day.

Imagine if we actually took the title literally in our conversations.

Find something good and share it.

Ask others who are negative, tell me something good.

My friend Wynn Etter instinctively did it.

Even when he was ill with cancer, he’d respond by telling you something good (usually about yourself!) or asking for something positive.

We have a choice.

Life does not have to be negative.

We have that power within us.

The greatest gift costs nothing – not one cent.

Yet it is highly valued.

It is loved by everyone who receives it.

It is always in demand.

It doesn’t need to be gift wrapped.

The greatest gift is the gift of your time.

One of my NYU students practicing his human relations skills in preparation for a great career in the music business, devoted two full hours listening to a friend of his focused directly on his friend’s feelings and concerns.

The result as he told it:  my friend felt great and I did, too, knowing I had the power to give him something he appreciated.

It’s never too late to make a friend or rekindle a lost friendship if they are willing.

“Each friend represents a world in us, a world not born until they arrive, and it is only by this meeting that a new world is born,” said author Anais Nin.

That friendship can be re-born to appreciate a second time what may have been under- valued the first time.

Selena Gomez and Taylor Swift are examples of powerful women who are embracing imperfection.

Taylor Swift’s “Anti-Hero” song says “It’s me, hi, I’m the problem / it’s me, hi, everybody agrees” and she goes on to add “Sometimes I feel like everybody is a sexy baby / And I’m a monster”.

Selena Gomez, subject of an Apple TV+ documentary reveals “I get the voice that comes in my head that says you missed this. That sucked, that sucked” after a rehearsal overwhelming her because she wants to do her best.

Music is the soundtrack of our lives — the lyrics say it all.

But there is evidence that people today are able to relate better to pop stars for the very imperfections they exhibit.

In other words, the message for the rest of us may be – our weaknesses may actually be our strengths.