Maybe by this morning we will all know who the lucky person or people are who are going to share in this monster Powerball lottery jackpot.

But don’t call them winners.

Here are 8 winners whose luck ran out after they won (article).

In fact, so many lottery “winners” end up homeless, without friends, without a purpose and distanced from those who drank from the fountain of wealth.

In other words, the dream often becomes the nightmare.

Unfathomable wealth turns out to be the kiss of death and yet all of us try to buy a few tickets and get lucky.  We say, it would pay for our kids’ education, pay off the house, get us out of debt and maybe allow for a vacation.

Some people (not all) actually quit their jobs, lose their identity and become official spenders of their fortune.

Ask Warren Buffett what he thinks of his wealth as he lives in a modest home and where he has bequeathed only a very small portion of his vast wealth to his children who must spend the majority of it on charitable works.

Bill Gates is giving away his money and now the Zuckerberg’s are pledging to give their billions away.

Money is a wonderful thing, no doubt.

The old saying, “… the love of money is the root of all kinds of evil” starts with the keys words “the love of money”.

What a good time for the rest of us lottery losers to be grateful that we get to keep our jobs, our debt, our problems and our futures because as my mother used to say “if it’s too good to be true, then it probably is”.

Pay forward and give to others as best you can and we’re not just talking about money here.

The gift of your time is worth more than money can buy and feels really good to the giver and receiver.

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Before Paul Ryan agreed to become Speaker of the House, he insisted that he be allowed to keep his family time and limit the extensive traveling the job usually entails.

President Obama told TODAY show host Matt Lauer in a pre-State of the Union message yesterday morning that being president has made him a better father.

He and Michelle attend parent-teacher conferences together.  He helps coach Sasha’s basketball team and attended Sasha’s dance recitals.

In fact, being President was the first time that the family was able to gather together for dinner every night in their upstairs quarters at the White House.

Men and women are increasingly speaking out about balancing the roles of professionals as they pertain to their children.

I know a family counselor who says if there is only one change you can make at this point to be a better dad or mom, commit to having dinner together every night.

And no cell phones.

That includes you, mom and dad.

It’s not the amount of time you spend together, it’s the amount of time you are present together.

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Ground Control to Major Tom:  why is being different truly appreciated AFTER a life of being different?

David Bowie looked different, sounded different.  His thought process was, well – different.  He was skilled at the process of reinvention.

When someone dies we often hear the consoling thought that they are in a “better place” but actually being different puts those around such a person in a better place.

Steve Jobs was famous for saying be different:

“Here’s to the crazy ones, the misfits, the rebels, the troublemakers, the round pegs in the square holes… the ones who see things differently — they’re not fond of rules… You can quote them, disagree with them, glorify or vilify them, but the only thing you can’t do is ignore them because they change things… they push the human race forward, and while some may see them as the crazy ones, we see genius, because the ones who are crazy enough to think that they can change the world, are the ones who do”.

The best way to remember someone you’re fond of who is now gone is to take one of their best qualities and make it yours.

Be different.

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Opposing coach Pete Carroll of the Seattle Seahawks watched in amazement and joy as his team was about to lose their playoff game yesterday when all the Vikings needed to do was kick a usually routine 27-yard field goal.

Kicker Blair Walsh who was responsible for all the Vikings’ points up until this juncture was about to be the hero again and then suddenly he became the goat. Here’s a quick video if you missed it.

The game the Vikings were destined to win was now lost and the Seahawks who were thus destined to lose were alive to advance to the next round.

I know what you’re thinking – never give up.

That, too.

But last year Seahawks coach Pete Carroll called the wrong play that would have guaranteed his team a Super Bowl victory over New England and he had to live with it all winter.

Sports like life is made up of victories and losses. Carroll chose to remain positive and focus on winning another Super Bowl someday. It is ironic that the same kind of blown play that lost his team the big victory last year was responsible for the team advancing this year.

The other lesson: Adversity introduces a person to him or herself and to those around them.

Never give up, yes. But never, lose faith in yourself – oh yes!

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How screwed up is the world where we endure so much stress every day and still wind up feeling insufficient?

When good doesn’t seem to be good enough and when doing better somehow has little impact on happiness.

• Everyone is okay the way they are.
• No one gets to tell you how you need to be better – that’s always your decision.
• For every self-deprecating thought you harbor, balance it with one about a strength you possess to keep things in balance.
• If you want to make yourself really miserable, try to change another person.  And keep this in mind when someone else tries to change you.
• Fred Rogers told his kid’s audience on the PBS television show Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood that he liked them just the way they are.  Ironically, productive change comes when we like others and ourselves the way we are as opposed to how someone else wants us to be.

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14-year old Nicole Pfister is a cancer patient who was bullied online in the cruelest possible ways but former Cincinnati Bengals NFL player Devon Still, the football player whose own daughter Leah gained prominence as she fought cancer came to her rescue.

He told her to buck up and said that he wanted to take her and her family to Disney World.

How cruel were these cyber bullies who took to Instagram to taunt a teen fighting cancer?

“ Knock. Knock.  Who’s there?  Not you white blood cells, that’s to be sure”.

Another said “kill yourself if you are even alive”.

Bullying has been around as long as people have but with social media, its impact is more widespread and even more hurtful.

We can’t imagine anyone attacking a cancer patient let alone a teenager with such cruelty.

Devon Still wanted to send Nicole a message that bullying is not cool and that there are people who care even when it doesn’t seem like it.

That’s how you push back against the damage bullies can do.

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Yes, no music, no podcast no nothing.

Just wearing headphones that give the appearance that you’re unavailable so that you can be unavailable.

A recent New York Times article identified the trend with scary stories of people who say they feel “too exposed” when they don’t wear them to the office.

We may be more connected through social media but we are becoming more and more disconnected from others in real time.

Remember that there are legions of people who wear real working headphones to tune in their world and tune out others.

Withdrawing from life in real time is a dangerous game.

If you fear living life with all its distractions and annoyances, you fear losing life.

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What a perfect time of year following the culinary excesses of the holidays to inspire an exercise program.

Researchers have discovered that telomeres which are add ons to our chromosomes that were once thought to get shorter as body cells age, can actually grow longer through exercise.

The more kinds of exercise that were reported in studies, the longer participants telomeres grew.

There are so many things we have no control over but this one is major.

Most studies show that exercise programs – no matter what type – eventually fail and weight is regained.

Exercise – 10,000 steps a day can overcome a natural body’s tendency to compromise our life span.

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The gift of someone’s time is worth more than anything money can buy.

And it’s free.

This past Christmas day was the lowest cellphone use of any day in all of 2015.  That means in spite of our technology and connectivity, more people spent time with each other face-to-face, in person.

Digital devices are tools – not relationships.

The only resolution any of us need make in the year ahead is to put our phones in their proper place in our lives.

Hand your phone to your son or daughter and ask them if they’d like to park theirs for a few minutes while they take a walk with you.

Quality time is worth tons of quantity time.

Spend quality time with loved ones – free from distractions – and you will both get and receive a meaningful gift at the same time.

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Like it or not, the gift giver looms large on his or her Christmas list these days.

I’ve heard figures as high as $800 spent on oneself.

Here are gifts to give yourself and they are free.

• Be the person you want to be not the person you become by reacting to someone else’s behavior.  Not easy but rewarding.  Constantly ask “Is this the right thing to do?” instead of choosing the lesser of the alternatives.
• Spend time with someone who is alone this holiday – talk about them, not you.  See how great both of you then feel.  Someone you know has lost a loved one and this season is the hardest of the year to endure.  Reach out to them.
• Disconnect from your digital world as much as possible and focus on being in the company of people you like.
• In front of others including loved ones, tell someone specifically why you appreciate them.  You may make them cry but it can be the most potent gift ever.
• In the 1947 Christmas movie Miracle on 34^th Street one of themes was how the holidays just didn’t seem the same as they used to be back in the day – and that was the same old complaint we hear today but it was 68 years ago!  Different is better.  The past is just a fantasy in our mind.  The present is currency that we can spend.

Happy Holidays to my friends who start each day here!

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